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December 2000...
orsmupdate 2000.12.29-1.19

So very very tired. Long day today. I got out of bed at 1:00PM to find the weather to be disgustingly humid. Thank fuck it rained later and sucked in to everyone who didn't want it to. The heat sucks and it should [somehow] be banned.

Have you voted yet? It takes 2 seconds to do so and I'll love you forever. :-)

Anyways... this chickee is sure to please a few of the many passers by. She's definitely up there...

Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie

Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie - Sadie

Bed time for me I think... I'll try and get off my ass and do a decent update before the year is out. Got HEAPS of stuff to be added. Mp3's, Vids, Pics...

Enjoy Hotly. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.26-23.49

A happy Boxing Day to all. I hope everyone got completely drunk and recovered from the compulsory fattening of yesterday. I don't know about anywhere else but it was fucking hot here today. [Apparently] reached 40 degrees [celsius that is!]. The highlight of the day was my sisters pool party. Ferals everywhere. Scary.

Useless trivia anyone? A friend just sent me these facts. What happens when an American President gets elected in a year with a "0" at the end?

1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office)
1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated)
1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated)
1900: William McKinley (Assassinated)
1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office)
1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office)
1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated)
1980: Ronald Reagan (Survived Assassination Attempt)

What does this mean for George 'Dub-ee-ya' Bush? The poor bastard...

Anyways... I got a reply from that wench.

RGGMOON wrote:

Obviously I got your attention without having to take my clothes off.

Merry Christmas Mr. Orsm.

I'm intrigued to know what the hell the purpose of the original email was then? Just trying to piss me off? Sorry - you didn't succeed. I had a quiet chuckle to myself actually. People like you are pathetic. You carry on like you have got something to prove.

I'd say it was ME who got YOUR attention. You wanna take your clothes off - make sure you DON'T send me the pics. If I wanna see a hairy female I'll go to the zoo and look at the Gorilla's.


Just so no-one else can give me shit and say I am a sexist pig or whatever I give you this:

Two girlfriends are having a conversation about their boyfriends when the first one says: "My boyfriend said he fantasises about having two girls at once." The other replies, "Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him?".

"I said, If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off two?"

Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2000.12.24-23.45

RGGMOON wrote:

Maybe you are amused... but I am not. I was linked to this stupid website by mistake. When I first saw it, I thought it said Orgasm Corporation.

Obviously it is you who are stupid as you must not have the ability to read.

Obviously you wouldn't know what it's like to give an orgasm to anyone but yourself just from reading your web page.

You wanna try me out, or is it just tongue and finger for you?

Except if you are gay. Which seems to be the fact since you have something against females which I happen to be one.

Let me guess - you are one of those fat hairy motor bike riding lesbian bitches that is feeling all 'empowered' after watching a few episodes of Oprah right? You're bored and decided to take it out on the first male that you come across because you are a man hater. You probably spend most of your life trying to prove that you can do anything a man can do. The truth is - we couldn't care less if you can or can't, just don't moan and groan like a stupid old cow!

And one who is offended from being linked to such a female degrading, low IQ, trashy, ball-less website.

You don't like it? then perhaps you should fuck off. The world needs less people like you.

Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.24-2.19

Female: Ouch! it hurts.. Be gentle!!!

Male: Shut up Bitch - you're built to bleed.

'Twas the nite before the nite before Christmas and you still haven't voted for me...

Anyways... I seem to have had an endless string of emails and questions from people asking when-o-when am I going to put some more Aria pics on my site. I hate to disappoint but I just don't have any. I wish I did. She really is about as good as it gets. In the mean time I would like to offer what I think MAY be some sort of a substitute for her....

Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor

Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor - Taylor

Hmmmm.... who am I kidding - this chick is crap compared to Aria. Most chicks are crap compared to Aria. Even Jennifer Love is crap compared to Aria... Well maybe that is going a little bit too far.

I've decided to run an Aria competition. The first person that emails me and tells me what Aria's name is, wins a prize.

What's the prize you ask? Answer: absolutely Fuck-All....

*Disclaimer: the prize mentioned above must be paid for in full by the contest winner.*

Beddies for me folks. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2000.12.23-3.23

As I sit here looking through my computer trying to figure out what I should update the site with just now, I receive this email...

Brian wrote:
Subject: where as once i was blind... now i can see

I really enjoy your site, I am curious, is there a significance to the line from Amazing Grace that appears at the bottom of the pages. Keep up the good work!

Now I am assuming that he is referring to the line on the bottom of most of the pages on my site that reads "where as once I was blind... now I can see".

I must admit that I have no idea how the hell to reply to this. It's a pretty good question. I've never really thought about why I like the line so much. For a start I've never properly listened to the words of Amazing Grace but a quick web search showed me the lyrics in no time. I originally heard the statement on a movie called The Game starring Michael Douglas. It stuck in my head. In my opinion one of the best yet most fucked up movies ever made. If you haven't seen it then I suggest you do.

I'm getting off topic here... Essentially it refers to myself having learnt something new. Something I didn't know before. Something I now know. Sort of an acknowledgement of my desire for information about whatever the fuck it is that interests me at any particular time. I suppose it could relate to me and the computer experience thus far. I turned on a computer for the first time on October 1st 1999. Ever since then I have been on a mini-mission to further my knowledge. I enjoy it. Before that I didn't have a clue what I was missing out on. I was a cabinet maker. That sucked. It was as boring as watching shit dry and I wasn't learning fuck all. That's where the "... now I can see" part comes into it I guess. I'm quite convinced that there is still a shit load more to be learnt so the statement stands. Not just with this computer shit but with a whole range of things I don't even know exist yet. I don't claim to be insanely intelligent but if something is boring me then it's time to find something that doesn't. Become "less blind" so to speak.

To answer the actual question - yeah I think it does have some significance but it's too broad a subject to put my finger on exactly what.

Now that I think of it, all this stuff probably isn't interesting to anyone else but myself. Oh well... maybe some of the people out there enjoyed the trip into my brain!?

Where as once I was crapping on... now I must sleep.

Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.22-12.33

I was dribbling on yesterday about having a busy as hell day today. I am pleased to report that it did happen. A few hiccups along the way unfortunately. Christmas shopping was relatively undoable due to a lack of money being transferred into my account. Centrelink suck. It appears as if students like myself are second rate citizens to these people. They are trained to tell you what you want hear just to get rid of you. The trip down there ended up being quite entertaining though - some chick [on some sort of hard-core drugs] was so fuct up she had ask me to dial the Job Seeker telephone for her. What ensued was a conversation with a friend [probably just as equally fuct up] that lasted about 10 mins. I had to keep prodding her to wake her up every minute or so. The fone call ended. She passes out on the table. Such a good looking chick - what the fuck is she doing so fuct up on chems? Such a shame.

Anyways... added a whole shit load of cartoons and comics that I thought may be enjoyed by all. You can find them here for the time being.

The more I look at my site the more I hate it. It bores the shit out of me. The style. The layout. The colours. Everything about it is annoying me at the moment. The new design site is under development but I aren't going to rush it this time. As much as I would like to have it up before New Years I just don't think it is going to happen. Unfortunate but I cant be fuct redesigning it every few months when it starts to piss me off. Anyone think they can come up with some decent graphics or banners for me? Email me.

Tiz beddies for I. Nite. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.21-15.38

A young virgin marries a Greek man. Just before the wedding, her father tells her that being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn over for love making one day. If she doesn't want to do it that way he tells her, she doesn't have to. Sure enough, after a couple of months her husband asks her to turn over for sex. "No way," the girl protested.

"Dad said I didn't have to do that!" "OK," replied the husband, "but I thought you wanted children!"


Okay so it's really not that funny. You wouldn't say it was the best joke you have heard in a while... some toilet humour perhaps?

Toilet Humour - Toilet Humour

Hmmmm.... Nah that probably isn't going to cut it for an update I don't think. Hairy Bitches maybe?

Hairy Bitch - Hairy Bitch

How about an amputee then? I give up. I need my sleep. Tomorrow looks to be a busy little day. Activities include:

  • Wake up around lunchtime. [ofcourse]
  • Go Christmas shopping and buy myself something nice...
  • Format computer coz Windows ME is proving to be shite and unstable.
  • Complete Cartoon & Comic Archive.
  • Try to fulfil day-long goal to meet large-breasted, naked chicks.

Tomorrow's update is going to be a shit load bigger I swear.

Make sure you vote for me!!!

Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.20-2.37

Sorry people. No proper update today. Have been busy designing a new look site. This design is only a few months old but it looks completely amateurish in my opinion and it bores the shit out of me too. Oh well... I'm a Virgo... apparently that makes me a perfectionist.

I updated the Salmon Vid on the Vids page with a version that has sound. Very fucken funny if you ask me.

It's too late. Beddies for me. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.19-12.04a

What have I got for you today? Vids. 25 of them in total. You can find em on this page. That should keep everyone and anyone who bothers to check my site amused for a little while.

Can't really be bothered doing any sort of big update today. I'll have to leave you with this. It is Jeri Ryan. Most of you probably know her as 7 of 9 from Star-trek. I don't think there are too many people that would argue that she has magnificent jubblies.

I'm off to bed. Better update tomorrow I swear. Prolly some more naked chicks too. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.18-1.41

What have I done today? Absolutely fuck all. I woke up at lunchtime in the foetal position due to it being so cold in my room. This can all be attributed to excessive and frequent use of my aircon and ceiling fan. Life doesn't get any better than waking up like that. What did I do straight after I got out of bed? I had a bath ofcourse...

Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time

Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time

What did I do after I had a bath? I read this site and it made me sick.

I thought it was about time for some sort of a decent update. Not too sure if I have succeeded or not though.

On this page there are 7 new Priceless Pics. The one with the chick pushing the shopping trolley is my favourite. Nice Tits in my opinion.

Secondly, there are now another 6 Priceless Vids. I think the one with the bear and the guy fighting is by far the best. It's the one named Salmon.

With only week to go until Christmas I can honestly say that I am just as unexcited as I was last year about the whole thing. Thank fuck this year every idiot isn't running around worrying about some stupid Bug that never ended up materialising. Bring on New Years and let the alcohol flow freely!

Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.17-2.44

It appears as if this whole Sandra thing is turning a little bit nasty for some people. Below is an email that I received this morning.

Dj Masacre wrote:

Hey orsm .

I hate to be picky but it's Orsm with a capital "O".

I'm having a little bit of a problem. I know you take no responsibility for the pictures that are submitted to you on your page. However, the certain picture on Page 8 (girl with her hand in her panties, webcam shot ) was submitted to you recently. It was sent to me a few months ago actually. I got a call from the RCMP because the girl in the picture is accusing me for posting her "all over the net".

Well did you? I can honestly say that I have no idea who the hell sent me the pic but I am pretty sure it wasn't Masacre. I would have remembered his email address if it was.

Now I don't really care who's hands the pics are in because I never leaked them out.

After some digging around I found out that Sandra and Masacre used to be Boyfriend-Girlfriend... the pics were apparently taken with HIS web cam.

The RCMP doesn't believe me though. They think I sent the pics to my friends and helped them put up the site.

No no... the site is here all by my own doing. It's my baby.

There's really no way I can prove it but I can prove possible ways that the pictures could have been taken off my computer without me knowing.

Hmmm... I must admit I have heard that before.

Anyway my main concern is to protect my system from being taken by the RCMP. They told me they would confiscate my computer and charge me for "computer fraud" unless the pictures were taken off the site.

How does that work? What act of fraud has been committed? Sounds a lil bit like scare tactics to me. What I wanna know is - why haven't they bothered emailing me to remove the pic?

Like I said I dont care about the pictures, I just don't want to get charged for anything else they could find on my system.

ummmmmmm..... please don't tell me it's kiddie porn!?

I don't want to invade your right of privacy but now I'm on big heat. If you can take the pic off I would more than appreciate it. And if there's something I can do in return I would do my best to do so. I've noticed you have a Dance mp3 list on your site. I have lots of Trance/Dance/Happyhardcore/hardcore/Club mp3s. I would be more than happy to send you some as a consolation. I'm really serious about this man. I imagine you must get similar e-mails from people but I wouldn't have bothered to mail you unless it was very urgent. I don't know if your website is heat but my suggestion if you want, is to take off the pic and move your site to a different host. I'll even publicize your site for more hits if you want.

I don't quite understand. Why would I want to move my site to a different host? As I see it, if you didn't have any part in me getting the pics then you don't have anything to worry about. I saw a similar situation earlier this year where someone was accused of sending a virus to someone else which apparently killed his computer. The person was proved innocent [more or less anyway!] and didn't have anything to worry about because he had done nothing wrong.

This shit is getting all fucked up in all sorts of ways not even I could have come up with even if I was really really drunk and slipping into that small space between reality and unreality. Sandra doesn't seem to want the pic of herself removed and the people who [apparently] sent it to me do. Its doing my head in I tell ya!

Bed time. Need sleep. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2000.12.16-1.51

People really are becoming so fake and plastic-like these days. This proves it. I know natural beauty when I see it. For instance take a look at the following pics of Aria. She's loooooovely...

Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria

It's been way too fucken hot here. If I was a politician I'd have an election promise that went something along the lines of "no person shall be left to suffer a summer without at least 1 airconditioner per room." I'd win for sure. The heat sucks. Give me cold any day.

Due to the sudden and unexpected demise of Santa Claus last week after he slipped in the shower and killed himself, the mail bag has been filling up for Orsm Claus.

Millions of kiddies from around the world have been sending me their Christmas wish lists. Read some of the letters here and make sure you send me your Christmas wishes here.

Anyways... I'm off to bed to enjoy some aircon.

Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.14-22.52

I got this in my email about 7 or 8 times today:

"Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac-man affected us as kids, we'd all sit around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music..."

How the hell are kids who run around playing Quake and Doom going to turn out in years to come? Something to think about really. Scary shit. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.13-11.36

Way too tired to do any sort of proper update. Have some pics. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum

Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum - Beach Bum

orsmupdate 2000.12.12-13.36

Have added a few Mp3's that I have had requests for. Am approaching about 100 now I think. Some seriously good music there. More requests please!?

  • Two cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and says: 'Does this taste funny to you?'
  • Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
  • A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts. The Shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts..."

I didn't realise how much hard work was involved in playing with and updating a web site regularly. Aaaaaaages apparently. Its taken hours and hours to get everything that has been added lately to look and work exactly how I want it to. All good I spose coz I have learnt a shit load in the process.

Pussy Eater - Sprung Badly - Fine Naked Chicks

Can someone please fill me in as to what the fuck this chick was on at the time of making this web site. I've emailed her but haven't got a reply yet. Make sure you have the sound on to capture the experience fully.

I'm outta here. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2000.12.12-11.57

All of the Mp3's are going to be down for the next couple of hours while I put them where I want them. If anyone was downloading them with Getright you will now have to change all your links because they aren't quite going to be where they were before. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.11-12.06

All of the Mp3's have been uploaded. I think there was about 600 megs of them. I'll keep adding them as soon of I can figure out what else is good or I get some more requests. You can find them here. Enjoy em.

Tony from Elegance Neon sent me a whole heap of pics of some lovely ladies...

All Bad 01 - All Bad 02 - All Bad 03 - All Bad 04 - All Bad 05

All Bad 06 - All Bad 07 - All Bad 08 - All Bad 09 - All Bad 10 - All Bad 11

All Bad 12 - All Bad 13 - All Bad 14 - All Bad 15

Check out those cheeks

Before anyone emails me and calls me an asshole for poking fun at people who are aesthetically challenged consider that I don't claim even for a minute to be any sort of oil-painting. If you think that you are ugly enough to be up here then email me so we can all have a laugh at you too.

I made up a few new Priceless Pics. Nothing too groundbreaking or sensational but worth checking out anyways. They start here. I've also started working on a big picture archive. I've got millions of pics lying around which are pretty decent and most of them are worth a laugh.

Can everyone please keep emailing me anything good you have got or that you find but don't get pissed off if you don't get a reply from me. I don't have the time to write individual emails to everyone who contacts me lately.

I found a wicked new game. Its called No One Lives Forever. VERY addictive. Its sort of a cross between Austin Powers and James Bond. You can download the demo here or as Pac-Man kindly pointed out you can get the full version here - Warez style...

Anyways... I'm outta here. Make sure you leave a message of some sort here. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.9-20.15

Good News! Mike from Funyon.com has offered me webspace to host a whole shitload of my mp3s. I've selected what I thought was decent to start off with and I'm in the middle of uploading them now... all 600megs of em! Hopefully this will prove to be a bit more reliable than hosting them with assholes who erase them all the time. I'm now open to take requests properly too. [Please do not email me asking for entire live sets that have a huge file size - I cant be fuct and it's too hard!] As soon as the files are up there'll be an update so everyone can get to them.

Thanks to the doctors fucking up my shoulders on Monday I've pretty much had to spend all week taking it easy in the hope that the pain will go away soon . Finally starting to feel a bit better and get some strength and movement back into my arms though.

School has now finished for the year. Thank fuck. Apparently this is right time of year to get drunk and fuct up. Believe me, I'll be giving it my best shot over the next few weeks and probably even tonight now that I think of it. It's always fun to get written off but I'm sure I'll pay for it in the morning. Christmas is full-steam ahead ofcourse. Wonder what Santa is going to bring me this year? As long as whatever it is, is bubble-wrapped I don't really care! Its just so much fun to squeeze them bubbles...

Anyone wanting to see some Fine Naked Women should probably check these out:

FNW 01 - FNW 02 - FNW 03 - FNW 04 - FNW 05 - FNW 06

That's it from me. Make sure you vote for me before you leave too! Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.5-17.23

Fuck I hate Doctors. I don't trust them one bit. I had injections in both of my shoulders yesterday. I was able to watch it all on the ultra sound and see as the needle entered my shoulder, got pushed right deep inside and then see the fluid come out of the tip. It really was a barrel of fun. Still hurts like shit and I am feeling tired and lazy but the results speak for themselves I think:

Mr Orsm 01 - Mr Orsm 02

Priceless Update has been completed. The new ones start here. There's a couple there that are pretty cool.

A new Priceless vid has been added courtesy of DtM. The rest of em are still here.

This little chickee is gorgeous. Her cam hasn't been updated in a few days but well worth checking back there as often as possible I think.

Something else worth checking out is no-such.com. There is some pretty cool shit happening here except I cant quite figure out what it is. Weird as hell.

Wanna try something completely different music wise? Check this out... an oldie but a goodie.

That's it for me for me. Don't forget to vote for me before you leave my site too! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2000.12.1-1.18

Went to the Leederville Hotel last nite for Cam's Birthday and a few beers. Talk about hot chicks in that place. I haven't been there for absolutely ages. Not nearly as shit as I remember it.

On account of I have had a few requests for some naked chicks lately I will start with what can only be described as gaping wet box....

Hot Blonde 01 - Hot Blonde 02 - Hot Blonde 03 - Hot Blonde 04 - Hot Blonde 05 - Hot Blonde 06

Hot Blonde 07 - Hot Blonde 08 - Hot Blonde 09 - Hot Blonde 10 - Hot Blonde 11

There'll be a Priceless Page update either tomorrow or when I am not busy or when I can be bothered. Should be by Saturday though. Anyways, I'm outta here. Only found out a few hours ago that I have an exam for my hardest subject tomorrow. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.


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