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January 2001...
orsmupdate 2001.01.31-18.49

Tennis great Anna Kournikova has been marked for death by a crazed and furious Elizabeth Hurley fan. The threat, apparently by a member of the extreme right-wing racist group Combat 18, is due to Kournikova referring to Hurley as "ugly" in a recent interview.

Tennis great Anna Kournikova has been marked for death by a crazed and furious Elizabeth Hurley fan. The threat, apparently by a member of the extreme right-wing racist group Combat 18, is due to Kournikova referring to Hurley as "ugly" in a recent interview.

The threat has sent chills through the international tennis community, which is still recovering from the shocking 1993 knife attack on Monica Seles during a tournament in Germany.

Combat 18 is a violent neo-Nazi group formed in 1992 by hard-core members of the British National Party. The group takes its name from Adolf Hitler's initials - the first and eighth letters of the alphabet.

I'd like to know what the world would do with out her!? How would we get by if we couldn't see her jubblies bouncing around on the tennis court every now and then!? I can say for sure that there will be more mourning than when Princess Di was killed.

This years Aussie Slang Dictionary has been released. All the new additions can be found right about here....

I'm outta here. Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.29-3.22

I think that Funyon.com [the people that were hosting all of my files] has been shut down for good. Slightly annoying because until I find another option, the vids and mp3's will be down.


Proper hosting costs an absolute shit load for how much traffic my site does. [You people chew down 120-140 gigs a month!!!].

Aside from that the entire Priceless collection is and will remain intact and my useless updates on this page as well as anything interesting I can find to add will continue.

Another mini Priceless update has been done. Only 3 new pics but better than a kick in the sweaty nuts I think.

Vibes On A Summers Day was on Sunday. I spent most of the day with a severe case of hay-fever and suffered badly but still loved it. Last time I went was 2 years ago [it's an annual event]. We estimated that there was somewhere between 4000-6000 people there this year. There were 4 areas... the Amphitheatre, the Drum n Bass Tent, the House tent and a Hip-Hop tent that I didn't go near coz the people looked like freaky-fucks. Saint Germaine played live in the Amphitheatre at about 8pm and they pretty much went off. MJ Cole played in the house tent which was unreal especially if you are a UK Garage fan. All in all it was sensational because there was absolutely NO agro from anyone and the amount of scantilly-clad women was obscene... everywhere you looked - Jubblies... Chicks in bikini's. I'll try and find someone who took pictures and scan em in so I can post em.

Anyone into sword-fighting? Check this out...

Anyways... I'm off. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.28-3.15

Drunk. Happy Birthday Trev.

Anyways, Friday was Australia Day. Total crap. Everyone heads into the city to watch half an hour of fireworks and then spends the next hours or 2 stuck in traffic trying to get home. This dude took a whole shit load of photo's of the event. The only good bit was the Jumbo Jet doing low level passes before the whole thing kicked-off. I'm watching it from my house next year.

Anyone running pirate software on your computer? You may wanna check out this page. Interesting shit.

For all the computer nerds out there [like myself!] - this article was worth the read. Am looking forward to this sort of thing. On the other hand, I upgraded my machine to 384megs of RAM yesterday so it is fast enough for the moment.


  • You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
  • You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  • You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
  • Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
  • You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour yet this year.
  • You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
  • You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
  • Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
  • You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.Every commercial on television has a website address at the bottom of the screen.
  • You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
  • The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
  • Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  • Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  • You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
  • Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
  • Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-It notes.
  • You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
  • You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
  • You turn off your Modem and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  • You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
  • You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
  • You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
  • You're reading this.
  • Even worse, you're going to forward it.

I wont bother trying to do any sort of proper update due to excessive alocohol consuption that has taken place over the last few hours. I'll leave it until Monday I think. Vibes On A Summer's Day Tomorow. Woohoo! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2001.01.26-12.34p

Well, today is Australia Day. It's basically a day off from work where everyone sit's around drinking all day and then at some stage in the afternoon, wanders off into the city and watch the fireworks show over the Swan River. So very very very boring.

I forgot to mention on my last update that I added a few new Priceless pics. These one's are a bit better than some of the last few that I have posted. Ah well - if you don't like em dont look at em I guess. You can find the new ones right about here somewhere.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

In the mail...

Dan Neuhengen wrote:

Hi some pics from our Christmas party. (the guy is french and drank vodka)

Party Pic - Party Pic - Party Pic

Talk about ya Techni-colour yawn... Fuck me. I mean, it's a well known scientific fact that when you spew you have a 98% chance of bringing up carrot's or carrot chunks or even carrot puréé, but this is ridiculous.

What the fuck was in the Vodka the poor bastard was drinking anyways? It look's like someone has 'spiked' it with glowstick juice. He looks absolutely terrified. I'd really like to know what happened to him after the spew? The problem with getting that drunk and reacting like that is going to make you paranoid for a long time about drinking.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt, wake-up with stinky finger.

This is a list I would love people to add to. Email me with some suggestions.

You know you're trailer trash when....

1) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than you do.
2) You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.
3) You've been married 3 times & still have the same in-laws.
4) You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
5) You wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
6) You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
7) You lit a match in the bathroom & your house exploded right off its wheels.
8) Your front porch collapses & kills more than 5 dogs.
9) You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
10) You need 1 more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House-O-Tattoos.
11) You use toilet paper as your tampons.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Am I still boring you? Hmmm.... now let me see here.... can I interest you in some sort of a fine naked woman? Gabrielle Richens good enough? Check her out...

Gabrielle 1 - Gabrielle 2 - Gabrielle 3 - Gabrielle 4 - Gabrielle 5

And that's me done for another day. I've started uploading more mp3's so when I have another 15 or 20 of them I'll update the Downloads Page so you people can get them. Go do something constructive. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.25-1.16

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! My ADSL is down. The whole country is fucking down. I've had to switch back to my dial-up account and I am just starting to remember how crap it is/was. Kill me please. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.24-19.19

What is it with you people? You are absolutely trashing the server that my files are hosted on. I feel bad for the owner. I have my finger's crossed that I don't get the boot from it otherwise I have no idea what I am going to do then.

"Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under."

The fone rings at my place this afternoon...

Orsm: Hello.

Whench: Hi. My name is Stephanie - I'm conducting a survey for a proffesional marketing company in East Perth. May I talk to someone in the house who owns and drives a car please?

Orsm: I'm a little bit busy at the moment. Perhaps you can give me YOUR fone number and I can call and bug you at home?

Whench: I can either call you back later Sir, or the telephone number here is 9336...

Orsm: NO NO... you don't understand. I said I am busy at the moment and I would like YOUR home telephone number so I can call you and give you the shits when you are at home not wanting to be disturbed.

Whench: What would you want to do that for?

Orsm: Because these stupid things and people like yourself give me the shits.

Whench: Errr... okay... I am very sorry for wasting your time, Sir. Good bye.

Yeah, I know that Seinfeld did it first but I have been waiting years to do that to someone...

For some reason it reminded me of a cyber that some little girl tried to have with me on Napster last year. I was in tears from laughing so bloody hard by the end of it... You can read the transcript here. Anyone with any similar experiences should send them to me ASAP.

"He was just a pigment of our evacuations."

<--- Snipped from Usenet --->

Apparently one of the first bits of music to be copyrighted was a hymn that the Catholic Church locked down because it was too holy to be played by anyone.

Mozart heard it some 150 years later being played by the church (at it's annual recital) and remembered the entire peice, wrote it down and played it later himself (in another country).... therefore is Mozart not as bad as any other Napster user?

<--- End Snip --->

"Cole's Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage"

It's becoming obvious that the lovely Aria [that has been featured many times on this site] is known and loved far and wide, by all and sundry perhaps.... on the following links you will find heaps more pics of her...

Aria Link 01 - Aria Link 02 - Aria Link 03

Anyways.... that's it from me for the rest of today. Stay out of trouble, people! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.21-14.33

Mr. Orsm on how to wear a bikini and look sexy...

The RIGHT Way - The WRONG Way

Vibes On A Summer's Day is coming up this weekend. It's set out in the middle of nowhere in an amphitheatre. It starts at around lunch time and finishes around mid nite. Featured act's include MJ Cole, Supreme Beings of Leisure and Saint Germaine. All of them personal favourites 'o mine. Last time I went was 2 years ago. I ended up with sun-stroke because it was so fuckin hot and I sat in the sun ALL day. Still worth it I think... if you are in Perth then check it out.

Darren wrote:

I meat this girl on the internet she's from Montreal Canada, she said I can show the pixs to all my friends,

Tammy 1 - Tammy 2 - Tammy 3 - Tammy 4 - Tammy 5

Tammy 6 - Tammy 7 - Tammy 8 - Tammy 9

Aint Tammy a little hotty eh!? It's refreshing to see that it is possible to find a girl out there who is willing to strip and have the whole internet see her warez. Any other chicks interested in doing the same? Send me your pics!


When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why. That evening they were out for a special dinner.

After dinner Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the cans in the box?"

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened but temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad considering the years." They hugged and made their peace.

A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?" Bill answered sheepishly, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre and redeemed them for cash".


I found some pics of my first computer the other day... geez things have changed haven't they?

My First Mouse - My First Mouse

Sometimes I lay in bed at night and stare at the stars for hours.... then i wonder...... what the hell happened to my roof.

Random Shite anyone? I got heaps of it...

Shite 1 - Shite 2 - Shite 3 - Shite 4 - Shite 5 - Shite 6 - Shite 7

Anyways... I'm bored and I'm outta here. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2001.01.20-15.44

Britney Baby

I can't tell for sure but as far as i know, my site was down for the best part of Friday... or should I say up and down up and down... I shouldn't complain really - it costs me AUD$10 a month for hosting and I do a SHIT LOAD of traffic. Apologies to anyone who came here and got an 'Object Not Found' message. Embarassing to say the least.

To try and make amen's I have delved deep into the archives and pulled out some Britney Spears Pics.

The thing about Britney, is that no matter how ridiculously commercial, boring, uninspiring, kiddie-ish, or just generally crap her music is - she has one of the best set's of 'Jubblies' around... Not only for her age, but also compared to all the other little pop-star wenches out there.

I honestly hope we have to suffer her Boobies for many years to come. Check out the pics below. The first ones are all real ones...

Britney 1 - Britney 2 - Britney 3 - Britney 4 - Britney 5 - Britney 6

Britney 7 - Britney 8 - Britney 9 - Britney 10 - Britney 11 - Britney 12

... and these ones are [obviously] the fake ones.

Britney 13 - Britney 14 - Britney 15 - Britney 16 - Britney 17

Britney 18 - Britney 19 - Britney 20 - Britney 21

Did anyone actually figure out the answer to the 'Problem' involving transporting the members of U2 that from yesterday's update? Did anyone even try? Even bother? Does anyone give two fucks? I know I certainly didn't. Here's the answer...


A friend sent me this however I am pretty sure it is a crock of shit. I was thinking urban legend of some description but couldn't find it anywhere.

Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling okay.

George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proofreader at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers. He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was still working during the weekend.

His boss Elliot Wachiaski said: "George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything. He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself."

A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary. Ironically, George was proofreading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.

You think that they would have smelt the old bastard rotting away or atleast wondered why he hadn't been getting his work done. Was he always this lazy? Either all of his co-workers are/were dumb fucks or he was 'that guy' in the office who everyone hates and no one talked to.


Whoops.... I almost forgot the Britney Vids... WARNING: SAFETY GLASSES MUST BE WORN WHILST VIEWING THESE CLIPS. There is a potential risk that a protruding Brit-Nip will take an eye out. How does she get em to do that!? Geez... Like I said before - Great Jubblies.

Britney Vid 1 - Britney Vid 2 - Britney Vid 3

Still bored? Got nothing better to do? Take some affirmative action! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.19-18.59

I must say that I am honestly feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. For some reason last nite, my site was down for a few hours. I logged into my webspace and all of my files were still there but nothing was working. Why am I feeling all warm and fuzzy inside? Because when I got out of bed this morning/afternoon, there was a whole stack of emails from people asking me where my site had gone and asking when and if I would be back. I still have no idea what the hell happened and I still haven't recieved any sort of reply from the place my site is hosted. Annoying. Oh well...

I've stumbled across some wicked vids. It's Kylie Minogue and Geri Halliwell. I just wish they were longer.

Kylie & Geri 1 - Kylie & Geri 2

Anyone up for a good brain-tease? Check this out...


U2 has a concert that starts in 17 minutes and they must all cross a bridge to get there. All four men begin on the same side of the bridge. You must help them cross to the other side. It is night and there is ONLY one flashlight. A maximum of two people can cross at one time. Any party who crosses (either 1 or 2 people) must have the flashlight with them.

The flashlight must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown, rolled, transported, teleported etc etc ... across the bridge. Each band member walks at a different speed and a PAIR of men walking across the bridge will travel at the speed of the slowest member of it's party.

The Paces
Bono: 1 minutes to cross.
The Edge: 2 minutes to cross.
Adam: 5 minutes to cross
Larry: 10 minutes to cross.

Example. If Bono and Larry walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed when they get to the other side of the bridge. If Larry then returns with the flashlight, 20 minutes has elapsed and you've failed your mission.

I'll post the answer next time I update. Good luck.


Anyways... Have a tall naked brunette.... she fine.

Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette - Brunette

I'm outta here. Be good. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.18-3.25

As most of you will NOT know, most of the files for my site are hosted by a very generous individual who goes by the name of Mike from Funyon.com. I've had all of my mp3 and movie files on his server for just over a month now and I am accounting for approximately 80% of all his traffic with around 45,000 files downloaded in that time. The problem is that you, the viewing public, the public that craves entertainment, is costing poor Mike a fortune! From now on, every time you download a file that is sitting on Funyon, it will open into a new window. The window that opens SHOULD display an advertisement of some description, so all I ask is that you click on his ad's! By doing this you are helping to make sure that Mike doesnt go broke and MY site stays up!

Anyways... Check out my list of Ineffective Daily Affirmations. Living your life by these rules will probably just fuck it up - but you can try...

  • As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
  • I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
  • I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
  • I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, ofcourse, I want to stay employed.
  • In some cultures, what I dowould be consider normal.
  • Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
  • My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
  • I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.
  • I honour my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
  • Joan of Arc heard voices too.
  • I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
  • I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
  • As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
  • When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
  • The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
  • All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
  • I am at one with my duality.
  • Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
  • I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday.
  • Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.
  • I honour and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
  • Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
  • False hope is better than no hope at all.
  • A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
  • Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
  • Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute...I'll find someone.
  • Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
  • The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
  • I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
  • Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step- blaming my parents.
  • To understand all is to fear all.
  • I will find humour in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.
  • The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I am not home.
  • To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.
  • I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
  • Mr Orsm is the coolest.

I've just added 23 new Mp3's to the download's page. There is some wicked shit there too. The new Paul Van Dyk - We Are Alive is the one that I LOVE at the moment. Kick's ass! If anyone finds any links not working can you please email me so I can fix them.

Look's like it is bed time for me. I'm rooted. I'll leave you guys with a couple more Aria pics that I had emailed to me. Fuck she is nice.

Aria 1 - Aria 2 - Aria 3 - Aria 4

Anyone got anything good to email me? Send it NOW! Dont forget to go and write something intelligent here so we can all have a laugh or take the piss out of you. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.15-3.28

Okay... now I got completely confused for a couple of hours after a friend sent me this fucken thing...

When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.

What is greater than God,
More evil than the devil,
The poor have it,
The rich need it,
And if you eat it, you'll die?

It was quite clear that the answer was going to be as obvious as fuck but I still couldnt figure it out. I did a web search and guess what - it WAS obvious... SO fucking obvious.... Obvious that I am stupider than I originally thought...

- The Answer -

Have come accross a couple of interesting bits of news in the last few days...

News - News - News

Also got this from a mate...

A few red blooded Aussie boys went to the Brisbane test to watch Australia Vs West Indies a couple of months ago. They decided that it would be too good a game to waste lining up in queues for food and drinks, so they contacted a local escort agency and hired a beer wench for the day (4 hours @ $50/hour).

The request was for a girl with big tits to come to the cricket in skimpy gear, and be on call to go fetch food or drink as required during the days play. Go Australia.

Australian Cricket Wench 1 - Australian Cricket Wench 2

Anyways, I'm officially nominating the people in these vids as complete and utter freaks of nature. They are just all bad... except for the chick in the third vid - She's talented.

Freak 1 - Freak 2 - Freak 3 - Freak 4 - Freak 5

Bored as fuck? Check out these sites:

Payback Productions - Never Ride - Limpy Chimp - God You're Gay

Tired as fuck? Me too. I'm off to bed. There's a whole shit load of Mp3's just finished uploading so tomorow or the next day you will be able to download them right here! Got some wicked shit there too! Requests go here. Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.11-1.20

"It's a hard life being a Penis. I've got a head with no brain, an eye that's blind, 2 of my neighbours are nuts, the other is an asshole and my best friend is a cunt"

I thought that everyone may enjoy a tribute to Snow White... or is it Cinderella... I'll be fuct if i know to be honest. Oh well, enjoy the pics.

Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White

Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White - Snow White

... not forgetting ofcourse - the vids. This is what I think shaould have actually happened in the fairytale. Would have been a whole lot more exciting.

Snow White Vid 1 - Snow White Vid 2

This vid is something I think everyone should see. Guy's will love it and girls should learn from it. Absolutely sensational I tell ya!

Had dinner at my local chinese restaurant last nite. Check out the weird menu:

  • Chu Sum Twat
  • Suc Mi Pork
  • Lic My Clit
  • Tung Sum Chic
  • Goo In Hand
  • Fuc Sum Now
  • Gulp Sum Kum
  • Cho Kon It

I got sent
this little thingy yesterday. Very funny stuff. Apparently by a guy called Wes Borg. Never heard of him before but you can find more like it right about here. Definitely worth the download in my opinion. Also recieved this mp3 aswell. It's Darth Vader getting a blow-job. Quite well done.

That' it for the time being. I'm already working on tomorow's update so make sure you check back soon. I've got some pretty cool shit just waiting to be seen. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.07-02.51

Firstly, to those [and I know there are atleast a few of ya's!] that check my site reguarly, I apologise for the lack of updates lately. A combination of being too tired, too lazy or not interested. Allow me to try and compensate with some sick/disgusting vids...

Hand Washer - Double Dog

Want more vids? I added a few new ones to this page. They're pretty good too. I also spent a few hours filling some requests for music that I have had. There's 18 new toons on the Mp3 Downloads Page.

Some important questions to ask an alien before having sex:

  • Are you carrying any diseases which might be communicable to humans?
  • Have you had sex with any high-risk partners in the past six months?
  • Which one is your mouth?

Got an email from Derek at HIV Corp. He was rambling something about there being a new type of Vaseline. Cucumber based apparently. Not too sure what the fuck to make of it so if anyone else does then can you please let me know. Anyways, prolly worth checking out his site for more fucked up comments like that one.


  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
  • There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  • Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  • Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • No one is listening until you fart.
  • Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • Don't squat with your spurs on.
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  • If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
  • Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  • Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

I know I have been promising MORE Aria pics and I think it's about time that I share them with the world. I actually think she looks better in the first series. More classy.

Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria - Aria

Well I am completely rooted. I think I am coming down with some sort of virus or something too. Definitely time for bed to be slept in. By the way - very large thanks to all who are voting for me on Stile Project Top 50. It makes a huge difference to my site everytime you vote... so go and vote!!!

Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.01.4-3.01

It's been a long time coming but I am finally starting to recover from New Years celebrations. The whole thing was spread over about 3 [fucking] days. Next year will be a whole lot different I swear. I may just stay at home and do an update or something. It would definitely work out a whole lot cheaper. Getting drunk can be done on any nite I want and because it's a normal weekend, atleast someone would be driving and I wouldn't have to waste cash on taxi's, which for some silly reason carried a $2 surcharge on the nite. It's not as if those guys do too much anyways. My NY's resoloution - don't go out for it next year. It hit's 12 o'clock and every idiot cheers, hugs and kisses. BIG DEAL.

Call me negative. I just think that all the over-hype bull shit from y2k killed it for everyone this year. Everyone finally realised that when you expect too much, more often than not, you get disappointed.

I'll quite the whinging for the moment...

Anyone who knows their dance music should know of the Freestylers. I met one of em on Monday nite...

Orsm: So what did you do for New Years mate? You go to Science Fiction [NYE Rave]?

Freestyler: Yep. I Dj'd there.

Orsm: No shit!? Please explain.

Freestyler: I'm in the Freestylers.

Orsm: Really? I know you guys - I've downloaded heaps of your stuff off Napster.

Freestyler: Errrr.... yeah...


I was quite impressed with myself.

It's pretty obvious that I haven't done an update for a while and funnily enough, the last 24 hours has been the busiest my site has seen ever. I am a slack bastard I know. Tomorow there shall be an update of great proportions. It shall contain all sorts of goodies. Vids... Music... Pics... Porn... and whatever else I can think of. Even the long awaited Aria pics that I recieved from Tony.

Sites to see: Lame King - New Girl Friend - Break Beats - Strange Days - This

Anyways... Bed time for me. Heading down south for the day tomorow I think. Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

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