|
| |
| orsmupdate
2002.01.30-17.43 |
| Wow. Four updates in a month.
It's unheard of in these parts but by the looks of things, I doubt
I'll have any complaints. I must be doing something right too because
the stats say that more of you are coming here than ever before.
I appreciate the support from all of you guys who come here for
your fix of Priceless, porn
and lame humour.
Vibes
On A Summers Day was absolutely phenomenal. I heard Vibes in
Perth was voted in the Top 10 dance festival on the planet. First
up was Groove Armada followed by Jamiroquai. Both of em were absolutely
unreal and if you ever have the chance to see them live I HIGHLY
recommend checking them out. I'll try and get some photos scanned
in and post them at some point. If you're not familiar with either
of the aforementioned artists check these out...
Groove
Armada - My Friend
Jamiroquai
- You Give Me Something
Finally got the damn car back. $2,113.48 and
almost four weeks later it appears to be running perfectly. Just
to add to my pain, the day after I picked the car up, I had to cough
another $267.15 for registration AND for two speeding fines I got
in the weeks before Christmas - both $110 each - AND a wheel alignment/balance
etc which is $42. That's over $2600 in the space of 2 FUCKING days.
Ah well... who likes savings anyway huh? I'll add this little experience
to my list of constants in life:
- When it rains it pours.
- Mechanics always over-charge.
- If Chicks didn't want us to look at their Breasts, they wouldnt
grow them.
I mentioned last week that I was playing around
with slightly changing the look of the site to make it easier for
y'all to access some of the stuff in the archives. The design you
see now went live in August 2001 and I'm bored to death of it -
too fuckin plain. That being the case, it'll be put to rest in the
next month or so. I'm working on something with completely new,
completely diifferent and hopefully much better. Certain sections
will be removed and maybe even some new ones added. If you're a
wizz with Photoshop or whatever and you are intrested in helping
with a couple of things around the site then drop
me a line. If not, I can always ask Dave
for help...
Learn
How To Speak Kiwi - Sesame
Street Personality Test
Not too sure how this ended up
on the Microsoft site but it's good to see them finally telling
it like it is...
-
HOWTO: Read The Fucking Manual [RTFM] -
THE BUFFALO THEORY
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo.
When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know,
kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
-------------------------------------------
Have recieved some great email lately. Boyfriends
sending me pictures of cheating girlfriends, ex-wives sending me
pictures of cross-dressing husbands. Fine by me because it reminds
me what this site is all about - getting even with people who are
losers. Well, it's not all about that but who cares huh!?
<Undisclosed>
wrote:
Subject: Priceless Submission
these were taken at the hyatt in austin,
TX after a night of drinking. after dating for 2 years and living
to together for a year, she got knocked up by some guy that she
dated back in the eighth grade, while we were still together. i
thought i would let you know the circumstances so, if you wanted
to, you could add some of your clever text to the pictures. if you
don't mind, i would appreciate it if you sent me a link so i can
see what you posted.
Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
- Cheater
"The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just
finished giving a speech, and walks to the lobby where he meets
his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk, the
Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what
I have seen in America." The American says, "Well Sir,
is there anything I can do to help you understand?"
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this
show called "Star Trek" and in it there are Russians,
Blacks, Asians, Scots, even Irish, but never any Arabs. He is very
upset. He does not understand why there are never any Arabs in Star
Trek." The American laughs and leans over. "That's because
it takes place in the future."
-------------------------------------------
This is fuckin great. Make sure
you check out her site for a good laugh. What a fuckin freak her
Ex is!!
Mary Gagne
wrote:
Subject: Priceless Submission
Hi! My brother Alan told me about
your site, and I have one more dilly of a priceless set of pictures
for you. They're pictures of my husband, Matthew Gagne. I left him
in September of 2001 for, among other things, being a cross-dresser.
I didn't know he was a cross-dresser till I'd already decided to
leave him. He was out of town for a week on business, so I took
the opportunity to go through his room. I was mainly looking for
financial statements, credit card statements, etc., but in my search,
I ran across a trunk full of women's clothing and some pictures.
The pictures are on my website:
http://home.talkcity.com/TimesSquare/vwbuschick/
Matt doesn't know about my website
yet, but since he's been so uncooperative during the court hearings
(property/debt distribution), I don't care if he finds out now.
I plan to mail color copies of the pictures to his parents and sisters
after our divorce is final this fall.
Gordon Black wrote:
Subject: wanker of the year
May I suggest an addition to your excellent site.
A contest for the "wanker of the year" and to start it
off, here is my submission:
Yesterday on the Eastern Freeway,
Melbourne I am overtaken by this character travelling at 120+ and
flitting from lane to lane. He's driving a Holden HSV something
or other, custom sprayed Italian Racing Red and it has a small rearing
horse badge in the middle of the back window and the personalised
number plate is . . . . SCHMKR.
What a wanker.
Damn good idea that! If you think you've come
across a bigger wanker in your travels then share it with us at
once!!
- WANKER OF THE
YEAR SUBMISSIONS GO HERE!! -
-------------------------------------------
I spent a bit of time sorting
these out for you all. These were the Miss World Contesants for
2001. Some tasty pieces of ass there if you ask me. Personally, I
think Miss Macedonia is by far the best looking of the lot. Check
em all out here...
Miss
World - Miss
World - Miss
World
| |
HELP HIRE HOLLY
Wanna see more of little miss popular -
Holly Ryder? She emailed me
a while back offering to do a shoot exclusively for my site
but I had to come up with some $$$ to pay for her services.
Easier said than done. I NEED SIGN UP'S to some of the following
sites... or just click some damn banners around the site!
- Fling Babes - |
PERTH, WA (AP) - Fremantle
Dockers football practice was delayed on Tuesday for nearly
two hours.
One of the players, while on his way to the locker
room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown
white powdery substance on the practice field. Coach Chris Connolly,
immediately suspended practice while the Australian Federal Police
[AFP] were called in to investigate.
After a complete field analysis, the AFP determined
that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when AFP Special Agents
decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance
again.
-------------------------------------------
Prepare youself. It's time to
see what you all come here for - Orsm's Random Shite. A veritable
plethora of some of the finest crap the web has to offer.
My little hommage to large breasted
women last week seems to have gone down rather well. People seem
to be fascinated by large chested chicks. I've done some digging
around and come up with even more for your viewing pleasure so enjoy.
I've got a couple more that'll be posted next update.
Massive
Rack 1 - Massive
Rack 2 - Massive
Rack 3 - Massive
Rack 4
Any Subaru WRX fans out there?
Pretty kick ass car if you ask me but I'd much prefer paying a few
extra dollars and picking up a 3 Series BMW. Nonetheless, have a
gander at this WRX vid...
- Subaru
WRX Slide -
If you are still looking for the
Aria & Kelle series then you are in luck. All 7 parts of this
huge video are still up on the web available for download. Don't
forget that if you have problems with any of the media on the site
you can probably find an answer in the site
help. Sorry, but all emails to me regarding videos will go unanswered.
- The
Aria & Kelle Series -
That's all from me, folks. Going
to be a busy few weeks coming up. I'm back at school for [hopefully]
my last semester as of next week. Full-time during the day and 1
night a week doing my CCNA. I'm also thinking about doing my MCP
but I'm not overly happy with the idea of parting with another $1700
at the moment. Anyways, take care, be good and for God's sake -
stay off those chem's! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
|
| |
| orsmupdate
2002.01.23-18.52 |
| Well I'm back on dial up for
the time being. It's completely fucked going from 512k to 56k but
I guess I'll live - although it looks as this is going to be my
fate for atleast the next couple of months.
I'm reaching that point where I've had enough
holidays. Pretty much all of my friends work full time so there
really isn't that much to keep me occupied during the day especially
considering that my car has been at the mechanics for over 3 fucking
weeks now. I managed to blow the head gasket on NYE and they STILL
haven't pulled there fingers out of their asses and fixed it. Probabaly
should have taken it elsewhere. Maybe these guys...
- Scamming
Mechanics -
| Anyways, it's the Australia Day long weekend
coming up this weekend. Looking to be a huge weekend so far.
Vibes On
A Summers Day this Friday which should be unreal - Jamiroquai
and Groove Armada live. Couple of parties to attend on Saturday
and Sunday and then a barbeque on public holiday Monday. I get
the feeling that it's going to be a high-expenditure few days. |
|
Ever find yourself walking around K-Mart waiting
for someone else to do their shopping? Here's a list of 15 things
you can do to break the monotony.
Keeping Yourself Amused At K-Mart.
Never leave your chat program an unattended.
This is what happens
when someone decides to get jiggy-wit-it..
I've added 60 new Priceless
pics to the galleries finally passing the magical 500 mark.
Thanks to everyone who has sent them
in. They start here somewhere.
Also, I know that some of the Priceless Vids
aren't working but I am trying to rectify it so shut up and be patient!
Am also working on a slightly modified site design too - the aim
is to try and make some of the stuff that is on the site [in the
damn archives] more accessible etc.
Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
- Blondee
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very
fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes
over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss,
then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who
the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's
my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says
the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her
husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no
more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no
more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinite or Lexus in the garage
and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?"
asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
link·age
(lngkj) n.
1. The act or process of linking.
2. The condition of being linked.
2. Connection or relation; an association.
Here
Is The Porn - Mad
Cow - Skitz
- Cloud 10
- Validate
This -
Internet Gossip
OTBM
- Rex
Mag - MN Vibe
- Legendtofski
- I Prodigy
- Loser Mag
- Confound
Want your site linked? Read
this and then drop me a line!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got
to the pub, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late
but he didn't say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought
we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately.
We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me
or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really
sure.
So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his
house, I said that I loved him and he just put his arm around me.
I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he didn't
say it back or anything.
We finally got back to his place and I was wondering
if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he
just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to
sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we made love.
But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted
to leave but I just cried myself to sleep.
I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean,
do you think he's met someone else???
HIS SIDE OF THE STORY
Bloody Aussies lost the one
day cricket... again!! Bloody depressed. Still, got a root though!
A man has six children and is very proud of his
achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his
wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night
they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and
wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts back... "Anytime you're ready, Father of
Four!"
-------------------------------------------
Mr Orsm: satisfying your Random Shite needs since
some time last year... or maybe the year before...
Thought it would be time to pay a small - or
should I say large - tribute to breasts again. The following 4 vids
are of chicks that have some serious rack-action going on...
Huge
Jubblies 1 - Huge
Jubblies 2 - Huge
Jubblies 3 - Huge
Jubblies 4
... and this one, which makes
the pilot look pretty bloody skillfull if you ask me.
- Talented
Landing -
I've been asked a few times to repost
this. When I first posted it, I said it ruined the clasiness
that Aria purveyed to her adoring fans. To put it bluntly
- a completely hot chick with her fist jammed in her box
just isn't what you would expect from her. Anyways, click
the damn link, sit back and enjoy...
- Fisting
Aria -
|
|
It's probably worth scrolling down the page to
grab the Aria & Kelle series before I have to remove it too.
Anyways, that's all from little old me, folks. Until next time -
take care, be good, stay off the chem's and vote
until your finger bleeds! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
|
| |
| orsmupdate
2002.01.16-14.42 |
| As per usual it looks as if I
have been completely neglecting my site [the torrent of emails pointing
this out is a good indication] but it's just not the case. I've
been busily sorting through the 20 thousand or so files that I have
sitting on my hard drive and organising them for future use. Nerdy
as it may be, I've spent my holidays working full-time [7 days a
week!] on this thing all for the sake of keeping you guys happy.
Aren't I the nicest cunt of a guy you have ever come across!!?
The weather is finally starting to heat up now.
Usually it gets stinking hot in early December but this is obviously
a case of Global Warming or the Greenhouse effect or some other
nasty side effect gone mad. Without a doubt it is most definitely
aircon weather and I intend to employ this technology at every possible
chance. If only most females were that considerate we'd be subject
to a lot more hard nipple action.
The Priceless videos
are back online [thanks to a very generous individual]. There's
50 in total so that should keep some of you busy for a while. PLEASE
do not email me of you have any probelms viewing them - check the
site help because your answer is more
than likely going to be there. Videos at the
vids page.
This
has got to be the funniest thing I have read in a VERY long time.
Could anyone actually be this out of touch with reality? I don't
think so...
"Your son will probably
try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal
the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually
find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under
"Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular
hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi
Buddy" and "Flash"."
I wonder how much having your penis removed without
your consent could actually be worth? How it would totally ruin
your life. What would be the first thing you thought of after you
woke up and realised you really were a dickless wonder. I bet this
dude would have a fair idea.
Hell
Freezing Over - The
Five Affairs
John Howard the Australian Prime Minister, flies
to England for an audience with the Queen. Howard brings up his
grand plans for the future of Australia.
"Your majesty", he begins, "Can
we turn Australia into a Kingdom in order to increase its status
in the world?" The Queen shakes her head and replies, "One
needs a King for a Kingdom and you are most certainly not a King,
Mr Howard."
Not to be dissuaded, he asks "Would it possible
to be an Empire then?"No" retorts the Queen "you
need an Emperor for an Empire and you are most certainly not an
Emperor".
"Aw shucks, what about a Principality
then?" tries Howard. Predictably the queen replies, "You
need a Prince for a Principality and you are most certainly not
a Prince."
Her Majesty takes a sip of tea and adds "Mr Howard, having
met you and several other Australians I think Australia is perfectly
suited to being a country."
--------------------------------------------
I've finally found true perfection. I'm going
to go out on a limb
here and say that this is the best chick I've posted on the site
so far. Think you have seen better? Send
the pics this way.
It's 3am, and
the man is driving his brand new BMW M3 CSL down the N1 at 240km/h.
He's two minutes away from home when he sees a car on the side of
the road, on its roof, and flames all around.
There's no one else in the area, his cell phone
reception is dead, so he stops his car. Sure enough, there's a beautiful
woman in the car, but she's bleeding to death. The guy reckons "screw
it" and rushes home to fetch a blanket. He gets back, puts
the blanket on the back seat of his M3, and puts the woman on the
blanket. He then rushes her to the hospital.
Six months she lies in the hospital, and he is
with her every day and very night. He donates blood to keep her
alive. Eventually, she recovers fully, and they get married.
Life is cool for a few years, until one day she
gets fed up and decides to leave him. His love of money is obvious,
and she feels like a trophy wife.
As she comes down the stairs, struggling with
her two suitcases, she reaches into her pocket for the keys to the
Jaguar. Sure enough, he stops her before she reaches the door, and
asks "What are you doing?" "I'm leaving you,"
she says. "Oh really, and how are you going to leave? The keys
in your hand are for the Jaguar I paid for. It's my car. You're
not taking it anywhere."
"Fine," she says, and throws the keys
at him. "And those bulging suitcases? The clothes you're wearing?
Everything, I've paid for. They are my suitcases and my clothes.
You're not taking the many where."
"Fine," she says, and throws the suitcases
at him. She strips down completely and throws her clothes at him
too. "And the blood in your body? I sat with you for six months
in the hospital. You know half of the blood is mine. You're not
going anywhere."
She whips out her tampon and says "I'll
pay you back in monthly installments."
--------------------------------------------
| Wanna see more Holly
on the site? A few weeks back, she
emailed me saying she was prepard to do a shoot exclusively
for the site but there was obviously going to be a catch...
I have to come up with some $$$ to get her to do it.
This is where I
need your help. I need you to sign up with some of the following
programs so I can cover it. At worst - just click some damn
banners around the site!
- Fling Babes - |
|
Linkage. time to pay hommage to some of the webs
most kick ass sites... well they may not all be quite that but they
did email me asking for a link. Surf em hard...
Sherm
Shack - This
Is A Cry For Help - Operation
Smeh - Beer
Or Sex
Spaff
- Bog Road
- Chicken
Legs - 4
Bitter Guys - Net
Hitters - Highly
Offensive
Back in December I posted some pics of
a chick called Brandi.
They were sent in by her boy friend. There were a few complaints
from people pointing out that in their opinion she was "a nasty
looking bitch". I think they were basing it on the fact she
had a Crack
Pipe sitting next to her in most of the pics but who the hell
am I to judge? Anyways, he's been kind enough to send more of em
this way. If you'd like to be imortalised forever on these pages
then email me now!
Roger
Hopkins wrote:
Subject: more Brandi pics 4 U
what up. here's some more pics of
my girl brandi with an i up here in nor cal. she says she wants
to be a star, so feel free to put them up on your site. also, if
you know any amatuer porn sites that take submissions, forward them
on if you would be so kind. thanks! keep up the good work!
Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
- Brandi
Limp Dick
wrote:
Subject: hey just saw your site........
Not a bad site..I was wondering if
you could help me with something. I need sex bad..Im a 35yo virgin
and slowly going insane........Im not looking at porn anymore till
I get my own peice.
Know any lucky ladies in PA.
Firstly, I'm an Aussie and I wouldn't
have a clue where PA is [Pennsylvania?]. Secondly, I'm not running
a dating service here so you are wasting your time asking me. Why
in fuck are you asking me anyways? Ask Jack
maybe...
A Korean Air freight plane
tipped on its tail at Sydney Airport today forcing 10 crew members
to be rescued by a cherrypicker. Emergency vehicles rushed to the
scene when the Korean Airlines MD11 jet suffered the mishap as its
cargo of cars and pesticides was being unloaded.
As the plane tilted,
a car which was being unloaded from the cargo hold dropped several
metres to the ground.
Korean
- Korean
- Korean
These are the original protypes for the Euro
Dollar that, as you can see they were considered a bit on the outrageous
side and thus - rejected.
Euro
€5 - Euro
€10 - Euro
€20 - Euro
€50 - Euro
€100 - Euro
€200 - Euro
€500
As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the
flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding
seat belts etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy
your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell and crew take you
safely to your destination."
Joe sitting in the 8th row thought to himself,
'Did I hear her right; is the captain a woman? I think I better
have a scotch and soda.' When the attendants came by with the drink
cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain
a woman?" "Yes," said the attendant, "In fact,
this entire crew is female." "My God," said Joe,
"I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to
think of all those women up there in the cockpit."
"That's another thing," said
the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit. Now it's
the box office."
Random Shite needs no introduction
so here it is...
A blonde heard that milk
baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman
to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt
there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons,
so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,
"I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean
15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons.
I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No,
just up to my tits."
--------------------------------------------
It's movie time. Time to see some of the more
fucked up shit that the web offers us as well as some of the more
graceful [aka. porn related] stuff.
Massive
Rack - Bully
In A Bike Shop - The
Energizer Penis - Afghan
Camel Dismount
Let's
Go Bowling - Deep
Fist Fuck
Okay i've been generous as fuck lately. Over
the past couple of months I've scammed, borrowed and begged for
enough web space to post all 6 parts of the Aria series. I've now
managed to lay my grubby little hands on the elusive 7th part. This
is it for this series - grab it now while you can because it is
the LAST TIME you are going to see them. If you have problems viewing
the vids DO NOT EMAIL ME [you wont get a reply]. All the answers
you need are in the site help section.
That's all folks. Next update i'll
be adding more Priceless pics, more Chick pics, more crappy humour,
more Random Shite and what ever else I think is worthy of your attention.
Until then, stay off the Chems, be good and don't
forget to vote. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.
|
| |
| orsmupdate
2002.01.03-12.47p |
| Welcome to 2002. How was everyones
New Years and Christmas celebs? I can safely say that Christmas
was relatively crap - no big family lunches or dinners [I successfully
weasled my way out outta all of them!] and a pair of shorts and
a t-shirt. Small recompense for the $400 I spent on prezzies
but I suppose Christmas is more about giving than recieving huh?
Pfffft...
As far as NYE goes - the night was relatively
crap. We were unable to get tickets to the event we wanted to attend
so had to settle for 2nd best which in actual fact was probably
15th best. Luckily able to redeem it all by a kick ass New Years
Day house party.
All in all it's been a pretty good year so I'd
like to take this oppurtunity to thank everyone who has visited
the damn site, everyone who has linked the damn site, everyone who
has sent me stuff for the damn
site, everyone who supported me through the damn Mastercard
Fiasco and anyone who I have missed.
Anyways, as promised this is the update a lot
of you have been waiting for. I've added so much stuff that I could
easily have started another site for it all. Priceless has seen
somewhere around 50 new pics added pushing the collection even closer
to the elusive 500 mark. They start somewhere here.
Theres some cool reader mail. As usual, tonnes of chick pics. Plenty
of Random Shite and the last chance you'll have to grab the Aria
vids before I take them away for ever. I should also add a special
thankyou to the dude who emailed me the unheard of Part 6 of the
Aria & Kelle series.
How
To Make A Christmas Cake - Osama's
In-Cave Memo
Michael
Jordan Vs Bill Gates - What
Movies Would Have You Believe
| |
You guys remember Holly
right? She was the Perth girl that I posted
pics of a few months ago. Well lucky me, she has emailed me
saying that she is prepared to do a shoot exclusively for
my site BUT there is a catch - to do this I need to come up
with some $$$ to pay her and to hire a photographer and I
need YOUR help.
What do I want outta you guys? I need some
serious sign-ups and banner clicking everytime you visit the
site! You can try these for starters:
Her
First Lesbian Sex - Teens
For Cash - All
Site Access - MILF
Seeker |
|
 |
This guy was lonely and
so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went
to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual
pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which
came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box
back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would
start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink. So he
asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's
with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his
new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few
minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar
and having a drink with me?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend
and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face
up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there!
Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?
A little voice came out of the box: "I
heard you the first time! I'm putting on my fucking shoes!"
Some cool shit for ya's...
Insanity
Test - Emotion
Eric - Christmas
Aria - Osama
Dance - Tourist
Guy Comes Clean
Sharon
wrote:
Subject: Angels are beautiful!!!
Being Christmas Time and all I wanted
to let you know that I think the Angels
are beautiful... I would love to be with them...if they'd have me....
i like licking pussie and having mine licked too so im sure id fit
right in... more photo like these would keep me hot and horny...
By the way where are all the group shots????? I have attched a sexy
shot for you... I hope you like it!!!!
- Sharon
-
You want group shots you got em - it's the least
I can do. Quick reminder that if you wanna send me pics of yourself
then you can do so right here and
be imortalised for ever on these very pages.
Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex
Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex - Beach
Sex
Keith wrote:
here is the photo that the
nurse took in the A&E. It was a sub-talus dislocation, and quite
a good one at that. As you can see...
- Foot
-
I am walking again now, but basketball is out of the
question for a bit longer.
Time to link some cool sites that
make the internet such a wonderful place. These dudes have emailed
me at one point or another whoring there asses out for some linkage
so go check out their shit!
Virtual
Roofie - Style
With Streak - Dark
Lock - En-D -
I Am Over
Here Now
Marijuana
Music - Numbness
- Dallas Pimps
- Rising
Conviction - Mister
Buhdda - Zyclonics
... and linkage has to go out
to some of the webmasters that have sent me some killer hits this
past year.
IWANGF
- Snow Surfer
- Class Or
Sex - Slap
Ass - Z Filter
--------------------------------------------
A stunning blonde went into a world wide message
centre to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told
her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have any
money. But I'd do ANYTHING
to get a message to my mother".
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect)"Anything?"
he asked. "Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised. "Well
then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the
next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door" the man
said. She did. He then said "Now get on your knees". She
did "Now take down my zipper". She did. "Now go ahead,
take it out ...."he said. She reached in and grabbed it with
both hands...then paused The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well...go
ahead" The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it...and
while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said..."Hello,
Mum...can you hear me?"
A Russian couple were walking down the street
in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I
think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me",
she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to
have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just
then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man
said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph
whether it's officially raining or snowing".
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell
us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course" he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt
like snow!" to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph
the Red, knows rain, dear".
--------------------------------------------
"Charmed by his literary insights
yet repelled by his slobbery eating habits, Nepentha remained pendulous
about Fredfud's proposal."
Huh? I quite enjoy these
sort of things... where they use big words and stuff... Got any
more then send em my way.
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into
the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he
replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to
offend you."
She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend
me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I
have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm
sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have
a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we
can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be
Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes,
I am single and I'm Catholic too!" "OK," the nun
says, "pull into the next alley." He does and the nun
fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But, when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," says the nun, "why
are you crying?" "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned.
I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun
says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween
party."
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All
of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss
Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now,
Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The
correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word 'urinate'
in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little
Johnny thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
One day, during a lesson on proper
grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could
use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded
with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she
looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied
the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned
a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher
called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table,
my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful,
just fucking beautiful!'"
Ever dreamed of picking up your
brand new Ferarri and driving it a 300kms/hr down the Freeway on
the way home? That's what happened with these guys except they sort
of fucked up and crashed.
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