you might say. If the amount of email that I have received from
you guys telling me to stop being a slack-bastard and do an update
is anything to go by then this update is way past due. Which brings
me to my next point...
I'm getting damn close to removing my Email and
Icq addresses from my site. There are a certain amount of people
out there who look at this site as some sort of free service and
just seem to expect things. The amount of fuckin stupid emails that
I get amazes me. I don't send videos to people and I don't send
Mp3's to people. If you want a file then let me know and I'll post
it so everyone who visits my site can get it too. If you are one
of the turds
that does then I'll just ignored your email.
Secondly, my Icq. There are basically
2 ways to piss me off on Icq.
Number 1 - Request authorisation from
me and never ever come online and say anything to me.
- Requesting authorisation and sending me a message that says "love
ur site, d00d" or "sup man?". It's appreciated but
just email me
so I don't have to remove you from my list.
Now that I've got that off my chest I
feel so much better.
update has been done. Ten or twelve new ones added to the gallery
for all to enjoy.
By the way - thankyou to whoever it was that
emailed me [I've lost your address!] letting me know that some of
my Priceless pics made it into Australian
Picture Magazine. I'm quite impressed with myself if I do say
I have to admit that I am almost disgusted with
my behaviour. I've posted shit about the Aussie version of Big Brother
a few times now and since then I have become a complete and utter
BB fan. I honestly can not explain why I, like a huge majority of
other people, find it so very entertaining dwelling on the lives
of people no more or less important than I am in real life. Every
nite at 7pm I am in front of the TV watching what has been going
on and speculating who it is that's going to be evicted next.
I was a strong "Save Johnnie"
campaigner but it was more or less inevitable that the gay man was
gonna get booted at the first chance the homophobic viewing public
got. I'm now keeping my fingers crossed that Blair
wins it over that Sara-Maree
What happens now? A couple more weeks and its
all over. The thrill will be gone and that's it. Things are never
as good the second time around. Take a look at Survivor. I couldn't
bring myself to watch it in the "Australian Out Back"
purely because the game had been played once and it didn't offer
anything new and exciting the second time around.
What am I getting at? I have no idea.
What do you guys think of these Big Brother type things?
I changed the poll thingy-majig just to the left
and down a bit to see if you would put yourself through the pain
of having your every move scrutinised by a whole country or more
in particular - people like me.
Enough with the social
commentary for the time being I think. Probably a good idea
to get on with the update huh? Well here goes...
There was an old professor who started every
class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example,
the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started
telling a vulgar joke.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next
morning he walked in and said, "Good morning, class. Did you
hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?"
With that, all the women stood up and headed
for the door.
"Wait, ladies," cried the professor.
"The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
This is what happens when 2 hotshot stock brokers
(who I work with) race each other whilst on their way home from
a golf tourney (and they weren't drinking apple juice there)!
ps...It USED to be a Posche 911...for sale now, real
pps...amazingly enough, no one was hurt more than scratches and
bruises!! (no passenger thank sweet Christ!)
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock
in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and
The drunk from next door is standing on the porch
in a pouring down rainstorm, asking for a push. "Not a chance"
says the husband - "It's three o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was it?" asks
"Just that drunk from next door asking for a push" he
answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "NO, I didn't
- it's three in the morning and raining like hell out!"
"Well you've got a short memory" says his wife. "Can't
you remember about three months ago when we broke down and that
guy and his friend helped us? I think you should help him."
The man does as he is told and gets dressed and
goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark. "Hello-are
you still there?" "Yes," comes the answer. "Do
you still want a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!"
comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the
husband. "Over here... on the swing"
Ever heard of Ali G? If you have heard of him you would almost
have to agree he is probably one of the funniest things to
come out of the UK since Monty Pythons or The Young Ones.
If you haven't seen any of him yet then check out lando.co.uk
for a whole stack of his clips and episodes.
I seem to have been inundated with requests to
link back to some of you guys who run your own sites. As promised
I'm going to link every single one of you guys in this update but
due to what feels like approximately half the sites on the internet
wanting a link, it's getting harder and harder to do. In future
its going to be a little bit harder to get me to link your site
unless you follow the rules! If you are a webmaster or just some
kook that runs a site click here
to read them.
Up - Random
Wrestling - Stab
Shit - Sex
Info 101 - Phat
Gawd - Shift
Head - B0g
Look Away - Modern
Players - Guy
Rules - Forbidden
Compounds - Eye
Man On The Web - Filtered
Life - Relationships
Hands up who likes Cam-chicks...
Hands up who likes HOT Cam-chicks? I've really never been
too much of a follower of them until only recently I get this
one chickadee message me on Icq. Turns out she is the webmistress
of her own little site and passes herself off as Digital
Now I could sit here and write about how
much of a shit-hot bod she has but I know for a fact that
you guys just wanna hear about how she comes across as highly
intelligent, charming and funny right?
On the off chance you don't then I highly
recommend checking out her
site for updates on what an Aussie girl does with herself
when she isn't teasing me with cleavage shots and if that
isn't enough you can always check
out her cam and pics.
1 - Vix-Pic
2 - Vix-Pix
I'm a really huge fan of Flash-powered web sites
so I thought it would be worth linking a few that I thought were
City - Stormtronic
- Cloud 10
- Kidd Bippy
- E Studio
- X Dude
Chickee-Babe of the week this week is an absolute
hottie. Check her out...
DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette
DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette
A police officer pulls a guy over for
speeding and has the following exchange:
May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it
suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this
Driver: It's not my car. I stole
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think
of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was
putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it
after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed
her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately
called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and
the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's
the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no
gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I
was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened - no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who
stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the
car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the
lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too?
sites that cater to your every desire -
A lot of you guys have probably seen
this one before. All you have to do is read the following statement
and count how many times the letter 'F' is used.
FINISHED FILES ARE THE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
Scroll down for the answer...
1 - Entertaining
2 - Entertaining
3 - Entertaining
I was pretty annoyed when Napster
got nailed for copyright infringement. Have you tried logging on
to it lately? What a piece of crap it has become. There is never
anyone online and you can not find what you are looking for because
it's all blocked.
There is now a DECENT alternative. Way better
that iMesh and Gnutella too! Kazaa
allows you to download everything from music to video to documents
and its all for free too! I managed to download about 5 gigs of
Sopranos episodes, music, pron and whatever else I could find. Download
Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You
know, I know everyone there is to now. Just name someone, anyone,
and I know them. Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
"OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom
and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and
knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin!
Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me
Although impressed, Colin's boss is still sceptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's
knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else,"
Colin says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Colin says, "I know him, let's fly out to
Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the
tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what
a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your
friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still
not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds
he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name
anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!"
says Colin. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope
a long time." So off they fly to Rome.
Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses
in Vatican Square when Colin says, "This will never work. I
can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what,
I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out
on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward
the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with
the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds
that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Colin asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and
the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who
the fuck's that on the balcony with Colin?"
Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez naked anyone?
Strap yourselves in...
& J-Lo - Britney
Topless - Britney
Pissy Pants - Britney
That not enough? How about some Britney on video?
Boob Play - Britney
How many times did you count 'F' above? Three
times right? Wrong, there are six of them. Read it again and do
it SLOWLY this time.
FINISHED FILES ARE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
The brain cannot process the word "OF".
Anyone who counts all six 'F' on the first go is a genius. Three
Time now for a dose of Random Shite...
On account of I haven't posted any new videos
in over a month I think its about time that I did. Today's bevy
of viewable media includes all sorts of bits and pieces...
Clit 1 - Monster
Clit 2 - Deep
Fist - Foreign
Wrong With This Picture? - Shark
Lez Vid - Head
Today's specialty vid is a bit of a shocker...
Everyone remembers Aria right? I've posted millions of her
pics over the last few months. If you haven't been reading
my site for that long then shame on you and they start here
somewhere. Anyways, last week I happened across an Aria
video. Great. Downloaded it. Before watching this vid I had
a mental image of her as a good clean, classy woman who took
her clothes off and that was it... I can gladly say she is
way more talented than that. Check this out...
That pretty much covers this update. I am on
holidays for the next few weeks now so I'll try and get the update
thang back on track. Shouldn't be too hard [read: sarcasm] even
though I am in the process of building a few other web sites at
the moment. And NO they are not like this one just in case you were
Before you leave, make sure you vote for me on
the IWANGF Top 50. It would be muchly appreciated.
Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.