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May 2002...
orsmupdate 2002.05.29-11.10

Welcome back to Orsm.net for another massive update. I must admit it's been a while but even though updates are few and far between - you would have to agree they are worth the wait.. In a perfect world I'd bang out an update minimum once a week but as you can all imagine with this MasterCard crap going on I've been a little pre-occupied.

Where to start... okay firstly I want to thank all of you that have shown your support. As always it is greatly appreciated. I've received hundreds of emails pointing out some excellent ideas and strategies. I've read them all but apols if you don't get a reply - I just don't have the time to get to you all.

A few thing's I should point out:
- MasterCard went after my host - not me.
- Orsm.net is hosted in the US. I COULD move the site back to Australia but when you take into account how popular the images are, how much traffic they pull and the fact that hosting here is prohibitively expensive - it's not really a viable option.
- I am considering renaming 'Priceless' to something else and I have had a shit load of suggestions on this but it's not really about that. I have a right to make and display parodies.
- I won't be making available the details of the lawyer that wrote the letter. One lawsuit is enough to deal with for the time being.
- I haven't got too much to say on people cutting up their MasterCard cards suffice to say if you like their service then you should stay with them. Even though they are wrong, they are only trying to protect their interests.

I've had a few people 'in the know' contact me so I'm hoping something comes of that. Obviously these things take time to failing that I'll start investigating other options.

I think the subject is best summed up in the following statement [source: sicco productionz]:

In other words: people have a right to make parodies of any public figure and or corporation and portray them in any light as long as it is an obvious satire (which this toon obviously is) and does not cause them direct harm. Delta should concentrate on service and safety rather than worrying about being the butt end of what is CLEARLY a joke.

If you want to have your say then check out the site forums or email savepriceless@orsm.net.

There really hasn't been too much else happening besides all the MasterCard crap lately. There's a rather funny story involving me dropping off a car at the airport so my Dad could drive home when he flew in at 7am from his overseas holiday. I got woken up by a phone call not long after he landed asking where the car was. I pointed out that it was in 'lane 3 in near the Qantas terminal' but he insisted it wasn't there. Was it stolen? Had it been towed? Nope. I left the car at the wrong fuckin airport didnt I?! They say I'm a Genius... I swear they do...

Just an update on the new house we moved into a couple of months ago. The previous tenants were obviously dodgy as fuck. Not only do all the sink drains smell like something worse than shit, we [read: I] am kept occupied calling debt collection agencies to tell them to stop sending letters and coming around to our house. It appears as if the people in here before us, who I have nicknamed the "Osama's" [due to their middle eastern descent and coz they are dodgy as fuck] have screwed over dozens of companies around the place. Osama told us that they were moving to the eastern states to live but some guy came around today chasing up a bounced cheque that was passed a week ago using ID with OUR address as his current residence. So him, his wife and their child are still in the state after all. Wonder how they feel about getting done for fraud...

- Even though I still haven't seen it yet, now that the hype of the latest Star Wars movie is dying down, it would appear that the real story behind the saga is finally starting to come out. Read more...
- I got a few well written translations in regards to the email I posted last week from Nickwon Larock. Check em out here...
- Did you know internet radio was in danger of being forced off the air? Read more to see what you can do!
- Doctors laugh too.
- There's an all new Comic Gallery again this week taking us now to a toal of seven [or around 140 comics]. Check out the latest here.

Looking interesting is HighlyOffensive.com. The lads are off on an expedition across Australia to get really really drunk and interview some of our finest cam girls. Should be worth watching the site for.

Click for more awesomeness

Anyways...on with it shall we...

Octopussy - Octopussy - Octopussy - Octopussy - Octopussy

Octopussy - Octopussy - Octopussy - Octopussy

Matthew wrote:
Subject: Make something out of these...

She is an ex. Her name is Kelly, which is obvious. She is 31. She lives in Orange, Orange County, California but is moving to somewhere near Buffalo, upstate NY. She is a cheating and lying bitch. She totally fucked me around and all the friends that I did make no longer want to talk to me as she made up loads of crapt. The thing is I am British. I live here and was spending a fortune going to visit her on a monthly basis, she basically screwed me over. I have more of another ex too..... you can have them once you have done your thing with these pictures.


Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly

Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly - Kelly

Worth a surf... give the little guy a go! If you wan't your site linked drop me a line.

Frosty Lips - Check Your Head - Domicile - Lost Highway Top 66 - Snow Surfer - Skinny Pimp - Poosah

4 Bitter Guys - College Dorm Life - Shoila - This Page Intentionally Left Blank - Spaff - Aeiha

A guy with a black eye boards a plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye too. He says, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes... mind if I ask how you got yours?"

The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying,' I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said
'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh.' so she socked me one."

The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister accident too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Rice Krispies, honey.' But I accidentally said, "You ruined my life you evil, self-centered, manipulative, fat bitch."


These seem to be becoming more and more popular. Maybe they'll end up like the Priceless pics with some greedy corporation insisting they be removed too...

You're A Homo - You're A Homo - You're A Homo - You're A Homo

You're A Homo - You're A Homo - You're A Homo - You're A Homo - You're A Homo

Sally Hudson wrote:
Subject: stuff for your website
Here's some pics I would like you to post on your excellent site. I have some more - I hope you like them. And some vids (avi) too which will come your way sooooon. Thanks!

Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson

Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson - Sally Hudson

John wrote:
Subject: cock pics for girls browsing on your site

well Jennifer Bla Bla (and yes, girls and gay guys) want to see cock pics, so here are mine (sorry it's all one file with three pics, hard, semi hard, and limper)...put em up, delete them, insult them, do whatever you want...just keep the identity down to the email, thanks
PS. keep up the good work on this fucked up site

If this doesn't make sense then it's because it refer's to an email from last update. Go look here. I've also split the three pics from one file into three seperate images so it's easier for you guys to get a look at John's dong.

John's Dong - John's Dong - John's Dong

click here for more
Click for more awesomeness

What's the difference between a Novice, an Intermediate and a Profesional Blow-Job artist I hear you say!? It's all explained in these excellent tutorial video's...

Three men answered and ad for CIA agents. The ad stated the men were to bring their wives.

The first man was called in for the interview. The Agent in charge handed him a gun, then said, "We must have absolute loyalty in this service. Take your wife in the next room and shoot her."

The man looked shocked. He thought and said "I'm afraid I can't do that. I just got married 2 weeks ago and I still love my wife." He left.

The second man came in and the agent gave him the same pitch. The man, almost in tears said, "Oh no. I can't do that to her, she's about to have a baby." So he left.

The third man entered and was given the pitch. So he took the gun and his wife into the next room. Soon "bam bam bam bam bam!" Then there was noise of furniture being broken, woman's screams, then nothing. The man comes back out.

The agents asked, "What went on in there??!!"

The man said: "Some idiot put blanks in the gun so I strangled her!"


Ever wish you had X-Ray vision? God knows that I have wanted such powers on more than one occasion.

X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray

X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray - X-Ray


I don't think it's that bad, do you? You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead." W.W. Renwick
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire. " "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A Second Marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

click here for more


Three freshman engineering students were sitting around one day arguing about who might have designed the human body.

The first one said, "It must've been a mechanical engineer. The human body has all those levers and pivots and stuff. A mechanical engineer must have designed all that."

The second one said, "No, it had to have been an electrical engineer. The complex way the nerves are wired up to the brain must have been designed by an eletrical engineer."

The third one said, "No, it was a civil engineer. Who else would have run a waste water line through a recreational area?"

Okay this is the last time I am going to ask. I'm pretty close to having the necessary funds to do the Holly shoot BUT a little more help is still required by you guys! If you don't know what I am on about, Holly [pictured left] emailed me aaaages ago offering to do a shoot exclusively for the site. Woohoo...

I'm in the process of trying to get it all organised so, so long as I can get the $$$ together we'll be seeing more Holly on the site.

... now click the damn links below and go check out these great sites!

- Fling Babes -

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.

The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it.

When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it.

The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

click here for more

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and sombre. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky and you will have to pay for the brain ourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$10,000 for a male brain, and $1000 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."


You're sitting at the breakfast table...

- Your son's picture is on the cover of Time.
- Your daughter is on the cover of Fortune.
- Your mistress is on the cover of Playboy.
- Your wife is on the back of the milk carton

Click for more awesomeness

Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez

Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez - Lez

An Aboriginal comes home from Centrelink one day and says to his missus "Love, I got a job today and so to celebrate, I'm sticking my prize possessions where you piss!". She replies "Your sticking your thongs in the sink?"

click here for more


A redneck couple was in bed on their wedding night and were about to consummate their marriage. The wife stops the husband, saying, "Be gentle. I'm still a virgin."

The man is astounded. He has never been with a virgin before. He decides to call his father for advice. "Dad," says the newly-married young man. "My new wife is a virgin! What do I do?"

"Better come on home, son," replies his father. "If she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure ain't good enough for ours."

click here for more

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.

This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up.

This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"


Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon

Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon - Devon

click here for more

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally settled down, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

It's good to see the President of China hard at work and looking interested in his job. This is what I imagine goes on in the offices of MasterCard while they decide who's freedom of speech they are going to quell this week...

Chinese Prez - Chinese Prez - Chinese Prez - Chinese Prez - Chinese Prez

Bob was shopping in the men's department when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam." She smiled pleasantly and asked "And what would you like?"

Bob said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down to your ass and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly... but what I *need* is a new tie!"

click here for more

A farmhand in outback Western Australia was out checking farm fences in his LandCruiser when he hits something. He radioed the farm for advice.

"There's a pig stuck in the bull-bar and is still alive but he's kicking and squealing so much I can't get him free" he said.

"Okay," said the boss. "In the back of the 'cruiser there's a .303. Put it up to the pig's head and shoot it. When its body goes all limp you'll be able to get it off the bull-bar and throw it into the bush."

About 45 minutes later the farmhand called in again, "I did what you said, Boss. I shot the pig in the head, he went all limp and I got him out of the bull-bar, no problem. But I still can't go on."

"Why not??" asked the Boss. "What's the problem?"

"Well it's his motorbike... the flashing blue light is jammed under the wheel-arch."

My favourite. Computer generated imagery. I have the utmost respect for people who can do stuff like this...

3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art - 3D Art


I have the solution for the prevention of hijackings and, at the same time, getting the airline industry back on its feet.

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at a naked woman not their wife, we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman and, of course, every business man in the country would start flying again in the HOPES of seeing a naked woman.

No more hijackings. The airline industry would have record sales.

Why didn't President Bush and Congress think of this?

At your service,
William Jefferson Clinton


Reader mail in any way shape or form is entertaining. For instance:

Norman Bates wrote:

Hi you big internet superstar. Did you know your mother tongue plunged my dirt star after I dry ass fucked her. I spoonged all over your mothers back and didn't let her wash it off.

You fag father works Texas truck stops 3 waying with your slut half breed mother. Did you know that? A lot of NIGGERS , CHINKS and KIKES know her dirty crusty pussy.

Now go back to stalking young boys in AOL chatrooms.

Orsm wrote:

What's ya problem bitch?

Norman Bates wrote:

Was that your sister having her brown starfish stretched by a Rabbi and a negro? Or was it your mother? The master race is so magnificient to behold that I cannot tell one miscegenated puddle of animated shite from the next.

Now I remember! Your mother turns tricks at the bus station and your sister works a corner in the ghetto and you work the rest stop when you are out of prison and act as Jesus' "bean dip" when you are in the joint.

Click for more awesomeness


- A year has 365 days for you to study.
- After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left.
- We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days.
- If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days.
- We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year.
- We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
- Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days.
- Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days.
- Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study!
- Let's say you only go out for 2 days! You are left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday... so...

Good luck to everyone on your exams.


Random Shite. The Shite that needs no introduction...

Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite

Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite

Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite - Random Shite

I'm sorry to say this is the fourth and final installment of the Virginia pics. If you missed the previous three sets then have a surf through the Chicks N Stuff galleries for them.

click here for more

If you are looking for vid's of random fucked up shit then you've come to the right place. There's a fuck-load this week and as always, they are free free free. Don't forget - if you have problems then check the site help or the site forums. I won't answer questions via email.

click to download

Aria and Adriana are back for another round of Cat Fight. It just gets better, folks. It truly is the stuff dreams are made of...

- Aria & Adriana: Cat Fight [Part 2] -

I've definitely saved the best for last this week. Big thanks to the Webmaster of theweblogreview.com for this one.

You have to feel sorry for Britney after seeing this although it is probably the sort of thing that stars the world over have to put up with everyday. If you listen closely near the end of the vid she utters "you're a sad mother fucker." Classy words from Miss Teen Idol really.

- Britney Spears: Beach -

click to download

That's all you are getting out of me this week sorry, guys. Rest assured that as you are reading this I am probably already working on the next update. The things we do for love huh!?

Anyways... be good, stay off the chems and don't forget to vote! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2002.05.22-00.57

The shit has hit the fan. MasterCard has pressured my host into making me remove the Priceless Pics from Orsm.net. Details here.

If you have any sort of legal experience and want to offer some help then email me at SavePriceless@Orsm.net.

Want to comment? You can do so in the Orsm.net Forums.

I'll keep you all posted on developments.

Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2002.

Welcome back for another dose of Orsm.net. I'm going to try and make up for last update, which in my opinion completely and utterly sucked ass. Too many fuck-ups and not enough good content for you guys to chew on. This week is a guaranteed return to what you guys know and love - the biggest update ever with hours of entertainment.

As usual I've been busy as fark lately which explains why this update was such a long time coming [10 or 11 days is an eternity on the net huh!?]. I've finally got ADSL connected which is unreal. Nothing brings a smile to your face like going from 56k to 512k. I also designed and built my dream computer. The old 850Mhz Duron just wasn't cutting the mustard anymore. If your interested in the specs, it's a P4 2.2Ghz with a Gig of Ram, 120Gig Hard Drive and Aluminium case with a 400w Power Supply. Very Phat.

Just a quick note to those of you who have me on ICQ, can you message me so I can re-add you please. I couldn't transfer my list over from my old machine so it's pretty bare at the moment. Ah yes... I have a new email address too. Finally rectified the problems I was having with email and you can now contact me at:


Oh yeah... can everyone please install a fucking virus scanner? I am sick to death of getting bombarded with them. Having to sift through 150 spam and virus infected emails every day is driving me fucking nuts I tell ya!

Attack Of The Clones is almost here! I think I am more excited about finding out what happens next as opposed to the 'digital wizardry' that George Lucas has created although I am certainly looking forward to it. There's so many questions that may finally be answered. Questions like how do all the Jedi get killed off or how does Anikin end up as Darth Vader or what do Queen Amidala's breasts really look like?

My Amazon.com wish list. Amazingly enough I have had 2 more gifts purchased for me off of it - and I don't even have tits [man boobs excluded!]!! It suprises me that people would be generous enough to spend some of their hard-earned cash as a thank you for the site.

Big thank you to you guys - it's muchly appreciated and helps inspire me to carry on with the site.


It's becoming an almost weekly occurrence. More legal action has been thrust my way and once again it is from the lovely folk at Mastercard International... except this time they didn't even go after me - they contacted my host and demanded they kill access to my site by Monday the 13th May. Why? In a nutshell - they don't like the Priceless Pics on my site.

I got an email from my host saying that I had to remove the offending material or they would have no choice except to pull my server from the network. Fucking great huh!?

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? Some of you may remember the Mastercard Fiasco of 2001. Click here to read the details of that incident.

I've started a topic in the Orsm.net Forums so you can read what's going on and have your say. Make sure you check it out. I need your support!!

Click for more awesomeness


If you have come here looking for Katrina from Big Brother naked then this is the page you want.

Worth a surf are the site archives. Literally thousands of images, video's and tonnes of other cool shit. Check them out here.

Have also added another Comics Gallery. There's a total of 6 Galleries now with over 120 images. The latest one is here.

The Orsm.net Forums are a little bit on the quiet side. I'd love t see it build into something much bigger but I guess that is up to you guys. Go surf the damn things!

The Chicks And stuff section is getting HUGE. Make sure you have got some spare time before you click this link.

The Fat-Ass Britney Spears? - The Real Britney Spears? - Duhhh - Australia, The Only Place To Live


Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy

Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy

Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy - Old 'N Mouldy

Jack Wilson wrote:

This is my EX-girlfriend Sarah.
She cheated on me and now I want her to know how it feels. Mail me at CraZGuy123@hotmail.com for more pics.

Sara - Sara - Sara - Sara - Sara - Sara - Sara - Sara

So I am guessing you are glad you are rid of her right? Even though the head is blurred out you can still tell she's a pig.


Chris Firth wrote:
Subject: Hey Mr Orsm...

Since I am growing older, by the time you get Holly on your web site it seems that I will be dead. So to remedy this situation and I hate to see the Horny Webmaster beg, I shall donate $50 just to see the Wonderous, Miss Holly in the flesh. Now you just may want to post this and you might find you have a fund raiser on your hands!! So if you want the cash, just forward your postal address and i shall forward you, The Great Mr Orsm, a Money Order made out to "Cash" @ ???.

The problem with this is that I don't have a credit card [which means no Pay Pal] and I don't have a PO Box that you guys and send shit to [and there's no way I am giving out my home address] so that's why I have been running the Help Hire Holly thing for so long. If anyone has got any suggestions on how to get cash to me to pay for this thing without me having to disclose my personal details then I'd love to hear them... in the mean time:


Wanna see more Holly on the site? She emailed me a while back saying she was prepared to do a shoot exclusively for the site... but obviously there was going to be a catch... I have to come up with some $$$ to get her to do it.

Holly Gallery 1 - Holly Gallery 2

This is where I need your help. Just click some of the following links and check out the sites. I'm not too far away from doing this thing so with a bit more help you'll be seeing more of Holly Ryder again soon!

- Fling Babes -

Jennifer Bla Bla wrote:
Subject: women readers

I just wanted to tell you that I am a female reader. My favorite is the "random shite" section though. The men were a nice a addition. I would really like to see them with less clothes on! I think it would be very interesting to challenge your male readers to submitting photos of themselves like the women do. Thanks for the laughs. Jennifer

Well how about it guys? I mean personally I don't really wanna see any of your penises but there's obviously people [read: women and gay men] out there who do... so send in your cock! Jen, these are for you...

click here for more

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro English (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e's" in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" , and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place.

click here for more

There's been a surprisingly high number of people emailing me about the logo below which ended up as Random Shite last update. If you look closely at it, you'll see that the logo has been done with human bodies. Nope - I didn't make it and I have NO idea how it was done. It was created by a surfer of this site who had some spare time on his hands [who's original email I can't find! email me again please mate!]. Impressive huh!?

click to enlarge

Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda

Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda

Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda - Amanda

Click for more awesomeness

At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.

Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat! When he finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river. He asked the lady, "Up or Down?"

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again. This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day. She said yes.

There they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or Down?"

The woman replied, "Down."

A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, "Up or Down?"

She replied "Up."

This really confused the gentleman, so he asked, "What's the deal?

Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made made passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"

She replied, "Well yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were 'FUCK or DROWN'."

click here for more


Orsm.net is proud to announce it's affiliation with what is set to be the coolest radio station in my very own hometown of Perth in Western Australia. It's been a long time coming but we're about to get our very own radio station that doesn't specialise in just commercial hits, easy listening, oldies or plain old grunge!

As it nears closer to the day it finally goes live on air, the big boys behind it all seem to have become stuck on one critical factor... this thing needs a name. That's where you guys come into it... They want YOUR help to name the damn thing!

What's in it for you? Well if you are a Perth-ite and you are aged over 18 then there's a party for you and 50 friends including a $500 bar card at Ambar Nite Club. If you are based interstate or over seas then you will score a brand new Digital Camera. Sounds too easy huh!? Just come up with a good name for the Radio Station and if it get's chosen as the winner you'll pick yourself up a nice little prize!

All submissions must be received by email so send your entries to nametheradio@orsm.net.

click here for more
Click for more awesomeness

It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, "Patrick Henry, 1775." He said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!" and Suzuki said, "Arthur Andersen, 2001."

click here for more

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horsey's.

Then it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room, when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, began hoisting the little boys up one by one, and held onto their "wee wees" to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice the he was unusually well endowed.

Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 4th."

"No, ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift."

click here for more


Hole In The Net - Priest Cult - South London Meat Market - Toadstone - Adult Match - Seymores Downunder

Stile Project - IWANGF - EHOWA - Ogrish - Class Or Sex - Snow Surfer


2 palestinian women out shopping, walk into a shop, one goes into a change room to try on a dress and walks out and asks the other one "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Thought for the day: Big cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anybody.
Q: Why is the section of a woman's body between the breasts and the hips called the waist?
A: Because another pair of breasts could easily fit there!
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Socrates.
When Mark Shuttleworth (very rich space tourist) returns from space, everybody dress in Ape Suits.
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno films in reverse?
They like the part where the whore gives the money back.
The Queen Mum's two corgi dogs were talking.
One said "I'm glad the old bitch is dead."
"Why?" asked the other one.
"Now they can't blame us for pissing on the couch!"

click here for more

Recently, a worldwide survey was conducted by the U.N. The question was asked, "Would you please give your opinion about the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure

In Africa they did not know what 'food' meant.
In Western Europe, they did not know what 'shortage' meant.
In Eastern Europe they did not know what 'opinion' meant.
In South America they did not know what 'please' meant.
And in the U.S. they did not know what 'the rest of the world' meant.



I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea what most of this means... translation please...

Nickwon wrote:
Subject: What up son?

Yo kid I just wanted to give mad props on the "REEF" bitches them hoes be off the hook son!!! Yo we got some bangin hoes in Cali but them brods is doin it in a major way! Is that in Australia or what if so homeboy a nigga gonna book my ticket now! Well anyhoes I thought I would holla and give some props to your site.....Keep tite aiight.
One Luv
Nickwon Larock

Here's a few pics of some aesthetically challenged naked woman walking the streets with not much more than a skin of paint...

Painted - Painted - Painted - Painted

In the middle of an international gynaecology conference, an English and a French gynaecologist are discussing various cases they've recently treated.

French Gynaecologist: "Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and 'er cleetoris - eet was like a melon."

English Gynaecologist: "Don't be absurd, it couldn't have been that big, my good man, she couldn't have been able to walk if it was."

French Gynaecologist : "Aaah, you eenglish, zare you go again, always talkeeng about ze size... I was talkeeng about ze flavour."


click here for more


10th - "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
9th - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126BC
8th - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo,1566
7th - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" - Custer,1877
6th - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
5th - "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein,1938
3rd - "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" - JFK,1963

And… drum roll... The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word...

"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton,1997


Elisa Bridges. Playboy's December 1994 Playmate of the Month, has passed away in February at the age of 28. The cause of death is believed to have been of natural causes. Such a shame... she was so hot.

click here for more

Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari

Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari - Kari

Click for more awesomeness

An Irishman moves to the USA & finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run! Run!".

The next batter hit a single & the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered "RUN, RUN". The Irishman enjoyed the game & began screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called "walk" and the batter started his slow trot to first base. The Irishman stood up and screamed,
"R-R-Run ye bastard, run!" The people around him began laughing. Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down. A friendly fan noted the man's embarrassment, leaned over and explained - "He can't run - he's got four balls.

The Irishman stood up and screamed, "Walk with pride, lad, Walk with pride!"

Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan

Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan - Swan

click here for more


Young Bruce applied for an engineering position at an Aussie firm based in Perth. A Scotsman applied for the same job; and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to young Bruce and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the Scotsman the job."

Young Bruce asked, "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Australia, and me being an Aussie I should get the job!"

The manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the question that you missed."

Young Bruce then asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

The manager replied, "Simple, the Scotsman put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I'."

These were apparently awarded Picture Of The Year by NBC. I say apparently coz I really have no fucking idea if they were or not... i'm just told they are. Just click the damn links and judge for yourselves!



A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied,

"There certainly is!" (are you ready?)… this is a beauty…

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Click for more awesomeness
click here for more

A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F". He smiled at her and replied,

"S-H-I-T". She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T." The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, It means Thank Goodness It's Friday'......... get it?"

The man answered, "S-H-I-T......Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."


Random Shite. Shite that doesn't stink...

RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

Click for more awesomeness

As a final little surprise, I'm going to post a new Aria series over the next few weeks. It's not as big as the last series I posted but what it lacks in quantity it makes certainly makes up for in quality.

- Aria & Adriana: Cat Fight -

Well I hope you guys are satisfied. This update took DAYS to put together and that's no exageration. I'm already working on the next update so make sure you check back soon. In the mean time I am going to try and venture out side and see what that Sun thing is all about...

Don't forget about the Mastercard thing. Those pics are as much your's as they are mine and I really wanna see them stay on the web forever.

Anyways, I'm outta here. Be good, stay off the chem's and don't forget to vote! Enjoy. Mr Orsm.

orsmupdate 2002.05.01-2.00

I'm finding it harder and harder to find the time to manage everything lately. Those of you who have sent the obligatory "hurry up and update, d00d" emails have obviously noticed. There's just so much going on lately I am having trouble keeping myself organised.

School is starting to go into overdrive mode with a few big assignments due soon, as well as part two of the Cisco Threaded Case Study that we have to do.

Why can't I just have a few weeks where I don't have to do a fuckin thing? Like where I can just sit on my ass and not worry about assignemnts or the web site or some social engagement that I just can't be fucked attending. A holiday is in order I think. I'm toying with the idea of a trip down south but the 'Beast' is just too heavy on fuel for that. I can't warrant blowing $250 on fuel just to get away for a few days. Mental Note: Get a car that is cheaper to run.


There's probably not too much point me constantly dribbling on about Aussie Big Brother considering most of the surfers that frquent this site aren't Aussie's [not that that's ever stopped me before though] but I have had a few requests for these photos.

A few days before she got evicted, housemate Katrina came clean and admitted that she'd done a bit of nude modelling for an Aussie magazine. So here they are... as you can see, she's anything but hot.

Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina

Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina - Katrina


It's taken more than a while to bring it altogether but I have added so much content this week that I dare say I could give Google a run for it's money.

There's a whole stack of new Priceless pics in the galleries which start here somewhere.

Once again, there's also a new Comics Gallery too which brings the total to around 100 or so.

Comic Gallery 1 - Comic Gallery 2 - Comic Gallery 3

Comic Gallery 4 - Comic Gallery 5

Support Desk Horror Stories - The Stupid[est] Hunters - 'Asshole' - Red Neck Neighbour

Anyways... enough crapping on. I don't have anything particuarly interesting to say so just scroll down or some shit...

Most of you will be familiar with the latest lawsuit that has been thrust towards me. Quite interesting how it all panned out in the end. As I suspected, the sender of those obnoxious emails was more or less full of shit and presented a somewhat distorted representation of the facts.

A Cole Pate wrote:
Subject: lawsuit...

Now that the shit has blown over.... I have one more request.....

I am getting emails from fans of you site..... that should make you happy because that is proof you have a pretty devoted crowd........

I am NOT the one in the picture...... I am a college student, much like your self, that owned www.hitinthenuts.com

That is how I got wrapped up in this bullshit. My site got 1 million hits in 12 days..... in fact I email you trying to sell the site.... that should be proof enough. Apparently the guy in the picture in question saw his pic on my site with your watermark as it was being passed around American college campuses...... To make a long story short..... they saw I was hosting it on university servers..... the called me, their lawyer, and the dean of my school threatening to have my scholarship overturned....... they gave me an affidavit to remove it off my site and off every site..... as we both know, this is a worthless request because the internet is vast and impossible to harness. I was given a list of sites with the pic and was told to have it removed in any way possible........ basically this is a long apology for being a dick via email, but you must understand that I value my education and its opportunities very highly.... more or less the school and this guys parents made me pursuit you while holding my education in the balance as the bait.

I find you site quite amusing and probably gave you a ton of hits because of some of the watermarked pics that were posted on my site. I had to sell my site because of the ordeal and have done my part to remove my self from legal trouble. I wrote a rather long email to the parents explaining very gently that their cause was useless and they as a whole have more or less conceded to this fact. I tell you this to inform you, that despite these folks being quite wealthy, they do not intend to go after you or your site...... they were going to go after rackshack..... but I managed to deter that as well.......

I hope all of this made some form of a coherent email...... I would like to believe you can understand the situation I was in.........

Although the transcript on your main page is funny.... (I read it and was amused), I would be highly appreciative if your would at the very least remove my name, phone and email. I am receiving enough hate mail... If you wanted revenge then you got it, but as you can see it was misdirected. I am just a college kid like you.

Thanks again,
A Cole Pate

As you may well have noticed I edited the page with the original email transcript between myself and A Cole whatever-his-name-is. He contacted me on Icq and pointed out what was happening to him. The sob story worked and I removed his contact details. I must say a big thankyou to those of you who got behind me and supported the site. A Cole was recieving 50+ abusive emails a day from you guys as well as a few threatening phone calls thrown in for good measure. Who ever it was that called him whilst masturbating - you are a funny fuck. The simple things are always the most effective.

Anyways, I've decided to put the pic back up. It's not as if it isn't circulating the net at a million miles an hour now. Oh gee... I wonder how that could have happened huh!? Whoops. Click here to see the offending image.


Fun with Flash...

Flash Clock - Silicone Challenge - Buffy Swearing Keyboard - Asian Pride - Britneys Breasts

Click for more awesomeness
click here for more

War can be a brutal event. We tend to sit back in our living rooms, and view the barrage of information that comes across our television. We easily can become desensitised to the true gravity and danger of the battle front. Lives may be ended or altered forever during the heat of battle.

When I first saw this photo, my heart was instantly brought face to face with the cold reality of battle. Yet at the same time, made me proud of who I am.

This moment of conflict, truly captures the spirit and cause of fighting for what is right. But a word of warning: You may not want to look at first due to the disturbing content. But the more you look, the more you will likely be drawn to and inspired by this moment. It may even cause you to want to join the fight. I hope it does.

- War -

These happy snaps are really for the benefit of the women surfers of my site... just incase there is any because I'm not too sure they exist. If you are female and surf this site then drop me a line! If you are a female and want to show me your tits then you can do so here, too.

Reg Grundies - Reg Grundies - Reg Grundies - Reg Grundies - Reg Grundies - Reg Grundies

If you want your site linked then drop me a line AFTER you have read the rules. Note to Webmasters: stop asking me for permanent links! Sorry but I just can't link all of you!

Ogrish - Urban Legends Research Centre - The Rut - Sumo Hippo - Sex Info 101

I Hate Led Zepplin - Funky Shit - T-M-P - Drunk TV

Wanna see more Holly on the site? She emailed me a while back saying she was prepard to do a shoot exclusively for the site... but obviously there was going to be a catch... I have to come up with some $$$ to get her to do it.

This is where I need your help. Just click some of the following links and check out the sites. I'm not too far away from doing this thing so with a bit more help you'll be seeing more of Holly Ryder again soon!

- Fling Babes -

Ryan Higgins wrote:
Subject: pic

Here is a picture of a chick at a bar called Time Out and she is flashing and the funny thing is she has her senior class shirt on, this is great, please post thanks.

- College Girl -

JWR wrote:
Subject: Priceless Submission

Thought she was smart, forgot pictures like this, when she moved out and got married.

- Mrs Not Good Looking -

To be honest, I actually had a bit of trouble looking at her picture. All I can say is that you should be glad you are rid of her.

click here for more

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever."

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.

When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."


More Fun with Flash except these are of the downloadable/executable type...

Clubber: Ecstasy - Clubber: LSD - Clubber: Alcohol - Cow Girl Puzzle

click here for more
These are the pictures taken of the now infamous "incident" at LAX a couple of weeks ago...


There was a middle aged guy who bought a brand new Mercedes Convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

"This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back." The State Trooper said, "Have a nice day."

click here for more

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman." The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?

"Yes, Father,' tis I."

And who might be the woman you were with?"

"I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now." Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Lisa O'Shanter?" "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her." "Was it Cathy O'Dell?" "My lips are sealed" "Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now.."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Five more good leads!" says Tommy.

click here for more

The Australian Government announced recently that it is changing it's emblem to a condom, because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives the government a sense of security while it's actually screwing you.

Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef

Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef - Reef

After dinner and a movie, Carl drove his date to a quiet country road and made his move. When Mary responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up her blouse. Suddenly, she jerked away, got out of the car in a hurry, and ran home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "A girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On their next date, Carl returned to the country road. As they were kissing passionately, Carl slid his hand up Mary's skirt. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home. Later that night, she wrote in her diary, "I repeat, a girl's best friends are her own two legs."

On the third date, the pair returned to the country road. This time, Mary didn't get home until very late. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part.

click here for more

A study in London showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features, and if she is menstruating (PMT'd) she is more prone to be attracted to a man with a heavy pair of scissors shoved in his forehead.

click here for more

The following is a spectacular panoramic view of Sydney Harbour which encompasses the City, the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I've had sitting on my hard drive for a month or two now and keep forgetting to put it on the site for you guys to have a look at so here it is...

click to enlarge

click here for more
Click for more awesomeness

I always leave the best shite to last. Random Shite... bring it on...

RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

I've done it this week. I have absolutely and utterly gone above and beyond the call of duty with 9 new vids for your viewing pleasure. All of them unique in their own special way. If you have problems the first thing to do is ditch Real Player [because it is piece-of-shit bloatware] and check the site help. Check em out...

That's all for the time being folks. I need sleep badly. Since I moved out of home I've trained myself to start getting up at a reasonable time [8am-ish] by getting to bed earlier. It's now almost 2am and I am completely rooted. Until next time, stay off the chems, be good and don't forget to vote! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

Click for more awesomeness