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I always like being able to start the update on a positive note so let's go with: I'm having a damn good week! No particular reason why, just been one of those weeks where nothing has broken, no one has annoyed me and everything has gone to plan. I live for these weeks. I have been slightly stressed though... I've got a mountainous workload at the moment and I always get a little ancy when I don't think I can handle it. The result has been sleepless a couple of nights - the kind where you try and sleep but your brain is moving too fast to let you.

I've started to get busy with some packing. I'm not too sure if I am jumping the gun with four weeks up my sleeve but it will stress me out if I don't know what's ahead so better to start now than have to worry about it later. I did notice that I have accumulated more crap than I originally thought. I now know why the dark recesses of cupboards were invented...

Moving on... I was thinking about shit I'm not particularly going to miss after I'm gone from this place. One thing I've learnt is the closer you are to the city the crazier the people are whereas out in the 'burbs it's a lot more sedate. Topping the list would have to be some of the following:

The psycho woman: directly over the road there's a family with two kids. The thing about the wife is that she always seems to be screaming her tits off at them... and I don't mean raised voice - I'm talking full fledged bottom of the lungs action. I don't think she particularly likes me either. She pretends like I'm not there... something I think is mostly attributable to the dog barking which they cop the full brunt of. Suck to be them I suppose...

The trolley dumper: this old bloke lives in what we call the 'heroin flats' next door. Every time I see him coming I duck so as to avoid talking to him. He speaks slowly and about the most irrelevant shit you can imagine [sort of like what you are reading now...]. Anyway, a couple of times a week he walks up to the supermarket and does his groceries. For his stroll back he nabs one of their trolleys. I hear it being wheeled my way so I jump up to catch him in the act but by the time I make it the five metres out the door he has magically vanished leaving only the trolley on our lawn.

The weirdo: I don't know this guys name, he doesn't speak much and he walks past up to 20 times a day always in a rush. He does have some sort of mental problem but I haven't quite figured out what it is. The weirdo has this unique paedophilic way of saying 'hallo Shiela' to the dog [Milla] whilst he's patting her and she's barking at him. It's not uncommon to spot this oddball along the street at 3am wearing shorts, an open dressing gown and no shoes whilst going through bins.

Telemarketers: our home phone number must be listed on every fucking list there is. On average its one call a night usually from some Indian guy or chick trying to sell me a mobile phone. I'm mostly polite to them and poke fun until they realise and say goodbye. I had a good one the other day from a lady collecting donations. She starts off with: "Hi I'm Linda from the WA Deaf Society..." I interrupted with "what was that sorry?" I don't think she got the joke - she repeated herself and proceeded into a non-stop tree minute spiel about buying raffle tickets.

Mormons: never make the mistake of accepting anything from these guys. They will come back continually to talk with you and you'll find yourself hiding in your bedroom, pretending you aren't home...

The cock smoker with noisy exhaust: I think this retard has mates who live at the heroin flats. I've seen them doing some dodgy shit in the car park which I can only imagine is in some way drug related. Anyway, several times a week he pulls out of the alley way, turns past my house and plants it. Imagine a bashed up piece of four cylinder shit with no exhaust and a smiling fuck stain behind the wheel thinking he is 'da man' then multiply that by how gay Elton John is and you will understand my hate for him.

That'll do for the moment. Unfortunately the list of weirdo's and annoyances doesn't end there but it's a good indication of what I am subject to working from home. Anyway let's get on with the update shall we...

IdleBabes has gotten raunchier. I know what you're thinking: "Is that possible?" Yes, my friend it is. Check out Miss Onion Booty in two clips here and here. And there's lots more where that came from too. All their videos and galleries are 100% free. You can even download zipped versions of the galleries, and the movies in wmv format!

If you've been reading my site for any period of time you would notice that each week I plug Newbie Nudes. This just isn't because they are paying me to do so... it's because Newbie Nudes is easily the best site of its kind on the net today. Hundreds of thousands of pics which are added to daily, tonnes of vids and the ability to interact with thousands of people that love to get their gear off and show what they've got... did I mention it's all free too? Check it now!

Who said IdleRiot can't be sexy too? You can't tell me this blonde riding hard doesn't get YOU hard. What about this busty nun? That's right, we show stuff like that. And there's lots more on IdleRiot too. Here's a tip, click here to see some of the sexiest things there :) Go ahead, check it out, search around... I'm sure you'll be impressed.

I can think of two reasons why you haven't checked out Revenge TV yet. First up it's because you are new to the net and haven't heard about what will long be remembered as one of the greatest sites to ever be surfed. Secondly, because you are a spastic. This is truly the ultimate revenge site - thousands of vids and pics of ex's that managed to leave a jilted lover in their wake. How does that jilted lover get his own back? Revenge TV is how! Click here to see what I mean...

Star Wars Boogie - Tony Danza Owned - Best Ass Ever - Teen Strips On Cam - Naughty Liv Tyler

Bum Vs Skater - Insane KungFu - Laced Up - Wild Raven - Blonde Babe Shows Her Bits

A woman married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
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A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop. With them are their 8 children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him: "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!!" The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus, so shut up!!!!"

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Paddy and Mick worked together in St. John's and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, "panty stitcher, I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties and thongs". The clerk looked up 'panty stitcher' on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave Paddy $80 dollars a week unemployment pay.

Mick was next in and when asked his occupation, he replied, "diesel fitter". Since 'diesel fitter' was a skilled job, the clerk gave Mick $160 dollars a week.

When Paddy found out, he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The Clerk explained, 'panty stitchers' are unskilled and 'diesel fitters' are skilled labour. "What skill?" yelled Paddy "I sew the elastic on the panties and the thongs. Mick puts them over his head and says, "Yep, diesel fitter."

ORSM VIDEO We all know how fast motor bikes are right? We've all seen them go past us at a millions miles an hour. And we all know how fast Porsche's are and the same applies to jets although I won't bother talking about that because it's a no brainer. So which one is fastest? This week's feature vid is extremely fucking cool - what do you think would happen if we lined these 3 bad boys up against each other? The results may surprise you! Check it... - Top Speed Challenge: Bike Vs Porsche Vs Jet -

A priest and his assistant went golfing on a beautiful afternoon. On the third hole, the wind picked up, hauling the priest's drive way into the woods. "Goddamn wind!", the priest said. His assistant was shocked but decided to bite his tongue and pretend like he never heard the priest's foul word.

At the eighth hole, another gust of wind lifted the priest's ball 50 yards to the left, straight into the lake. "Goddamn wind!" the priest said again. Again his assistant's mouth dropped at this second profanity. The assistant just couldn't accept this. He walked up to the priest and said with the utmost respect: "Father, I believe this is the second time you've committed a blasphemy. It would not be well seen if word got out that you used such language." "You are right, my son." the priest said. "I am sorry and I will make an effort to control myself."

Eighteenth hole and shot 71. The priest had ended up playing an excellent game, despite the few 'irregularities'. He drives it hard and straight. A fantastic rush of air displaces the ball completely, sending it flying, never to be found again. "GODDAMN WIND!" the priest yelled.

Just as the assistant started walking towards the priest to talk to him again, a powerful bolt of lightning cracked open the skies and struck the poor guy, killing him instantly. Upon seeing this, the priest fell to his knees in tears, praying the mercy of God Almighty: "O Lord, why him? It is I who has offended you. He has served you well all his life, only to be killed so uselessly. Why him, Lord, why him?" Thunder rolled among the clouds and a mighty voice answered: "Goddamn Wind!"

WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH... Hammered - Hammered - Hammered - Hammered - Hammered - Hammered

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READER MAIL
I would have to say that the best thing about having my own servers to run the site is that I don't have to pay for email. The onslaught from you guys this week was enough to keep the team at the local sheltered work shop busy 24/7. The OverFlow returns also and can be found here. That said, if you'd like to send something my way, show me your tits or slap together a nice abusive email then you may wanna click here so I get it.

Neil Cairns wrote: Subject: Hail Pics A pic of what Uni looked like after the hail on Thursday night. We're already copping it from every angle this winter. Bring on global warming... -Orsm

adam wrote: Subject: Liv Tyler Hi Again. Thanks for posting my Britney fake. It'll be interesting to see if any other sites now use it! Anyway, here's a Liv Tyler fake I did a while back that seemed to give a few people a laugh. Hope you like it :)

Benny Kegger wrote: Subject: Rat nuts Dear Orsm, As I'm typing this, I'm straddling a nice cold can of beer. Let this serve as a warning to other guys who are curious about this. Do NOT exceed the recommended amount of time on the bottle of Nair. All it will do is leave you with burned, dried up, wrinkly rat testicles. I've attached a picture. Those red spots are where the Nair burned through my skin. It feels like I've run my nuts across a cheese grater.

a# wrote: Subject: this koreanish car building guys hi orsm, first of all: GREAT SITE. love it!!!!!!!!! the story behind the picture is, that i friend of mine is working for a motorsport newspaper. he was testing this car from korea and make some pics..... i love this car-building guys for this!! maybe i will sell my volkswagen (on ebay?) to buy a rexton....

Phil wrote: Subject: Thumb Hey Mr. Orsm, long time reader first time mailer here... Just thought you might like this picture of my brothers thumb, looks kind of painful, although it's not nearly as bad as some other nasty injuries I've seen, but some people might enjoy it for some odd reason.

Braddles wrote: Subject: Perth Storm Pics from the storm that hit Perth last weekend (May 22nd). Was quite an impressive show. More of Brad's pics here. -Orsm. -Orsm

Omar wrote: Subject: From Bucharest... Hi Orsm, i like to watch your site and i think u could use these pic for your site. I'm from Italy and i recive these pic from Bucarest where live a friend of mine. This Car was hit by a tram. i think the driver was die but i'm not sure about it. U still the best. Ciao a tutti

vitriol wrote: Subject: Concept car Hey Mr. Orsm, Long time listener, first time caller - I found a few pictures of a concept car that made me drool, so I thought I'd share the love. Great site - If I was a girl, I'd ask you to be the father of my child. But, I'm not. Sucks :( I want bewbies...

Jansen wrote: Subject: Brakpan limo or is it Springs ? Hi Mr Orsm, Thanks for posting my moaning and groaning on your previous update! I received these pics in my mail today. I have no idea who took them, but they are surely tsaking the mickey out of these 2 towns.

GeenPunt wrote: Subject: cool site dude first of all: i love your site! Here are some of the pics i have taken from cams that where open to view on YahooMessenger. I hope you like them and will put them on your site :-) and if you want.. i go lots more of them ;-)

Simmo wrote: Subject: Bakery Advertisment Hey Orsm, Saw an ad for an American bakery the other day, thought you might be interested. The deal was that you buy a hamburger and you get a free TART!!!!

Mark wrote: Subject: Paris Hilton Burger ad Didn't know if you had found this yet, Paris Hilton ad for Carls Jr Burgers. Paris never disapoints does she.... -Orsm

fretwekk wrote: Subject: funny video of country rugby league here's a vid that your nsw/qld viewers might enjoy.. its taken from the footy show 2003 dvd Tragic. -Orsm

Dee wrote: Subject: basketball clip You have to check this clip out. I got it as a forward the other day and thought it would be fitting for your site. Soon people are gonna be dubbing rookies 'the next lebron james'. Hope you enjoy. I can do that... I just don't like to show off... -Orsm

Matt wrote: Subject: GUMBALL RALLY 2005 Hey Mr Orsm, I've been reading you site for a fair few years now and always look forward to an update. Finally I have something suitably "Orsm" to send in. The Gumball Rally kicked off in London this year and I was there to get some mpeg's of the motors flying around, attached is a Porsche Carrera GT laying down some rubber on London's Pall Mall.

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. Your son, John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

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A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No shit", replied the boy, "who'd she play for?"

ORSM VIDEO

Crim Knock Down

Flair

Spastic Mosh

Manual Shift

A middle aged man bought a brand new Holden Monaro. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 130kmph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair.

"This is great," he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and there was a Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210kmph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, "What the hell am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him. The Policeman pulled in behind the Monaro and walked up on the driver's side.

"Sir my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a Policeman, and I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a nice day sir and drive carefully."

RANDOM SHITE The surprises I have in store for you guys this week may be many, they may be few, but there definitely will be... RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

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John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young Layers called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to make sure the eggs were fertile. John kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of John's time so John got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

John's favourite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result... The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Butch was a Politician. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most politically biased awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them.

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Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she looked at Sally and said "Good trade."

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Time for me to make like a tree and leaf. I hope you guy's got something out of this weeks update. It would be a shame to think that all you did was waste time and look at porn. Be sure that I will return next week with a bigger, fatter update for you perusing pleasure.

Until next time be good, stay off the chem's and save Schapelle! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

Welcome to Orsmnet. Environmentally friendly, ecologically sound and ozone safe since before it was cool to be.

What a crazy week. Shit has been moving at light speed with all this house stuff. Yes, prepare yourselves as I bore you with more tales of what's been going on with me and my soon to be new homestead...

It's starting to feel like a case of so much to do but so little time. I've lost track of how many phone calls I've made to various people getting info or finding out what I'm supposed to be doing next. Add to that my brain has been working overtime conjuring ideas which lead to questions which, after I find an answer, leads to more ideas and more questions again. It's a viscous phone bill menacing cycle.

I've been scheming with ways to put my own stamp on the place - give it that personal touch and bring it into this century. The current owners have been there for over 30 years so we're talking some pretty unstylish old people décor to deal with. Thankfully nothing is so disgusting that a coat of paint and some creative thinking won't fix. I'm definitely looking forward to sinking my teeth into it and making use of all these skills I am supposed to have gained in my five years as a cabinetmaker...

At the moment I have three or four separate lists going. First one is stuff that I need to get - bits and pieces like a vacuum cleaner, ironing board and a rake to name a few. Over the years I've accrued just about everything I need [got to love hand me downs!] so hopefully I won't have to thrash my credit card too hard.

The next list I have going is all about the stuff I want to do to the place. We grabbed the camera and took some in and out shots last weekend so I can work out where my stuff is going to go and what's getting renovated first. This comes back to what I was saying about having a head full of questions and ideas however I am trying hard to restrain myself here - I don't want to go overboard when I aren't going to be there more than a couple of years.

My next little list is everything I need to get done in the next few weeks. Change of address, getting my phone and internet connected, water, electricity, gas... the whole kit and caboodle. It doesn't end there though... I need to get the place I'm currently at presentable and spotless so I can hand the keys back to the landlord and get our full bond back.

I have managed to get a crap load of stuff done already though. On the contract to buy we stated that the sale was subject to a termite and building inspection. I had the termite guy meet us there Wednesday and my old man did the building inspection at the same time. Thankfully both passed with flying colours so I shouldn't have to worry about it falling down in a hurry. The bank sent some guy to do a property evaluation too. Basically if they think we paid too much then it would make life just that much harder but it ended up being valued at exactly what we paid. Looks like we did pretty well.

I've got to admit that whilst there's been a tonne of stuff to take care of everything thus far has been a piece of cake. All the fucking around in the past few months trying to get my shit in order was well worth the hassle. Now it's just a matter of sit back and do everything at my own pace with out a stressful mad dash to bring it all together. Its times like this I am grateful for being a painful annoyance unto myself.

Moving on... I was looking back through the archives to around this time last year and realised it's been almost 12 months of weekly updates. I'm pretty sure the only week I missed was the one between Christmas and New Years. Not a bad effort if I do say so and especially considering its twice as many as previous years. Anyway just a little forewarning - I may use this 51 updates in 52 weeks as an excuse to give myself a week or two off around house move in date towards the end of June. Actually I can almost say with some certainty that I will be hitting some downtime so all I ask is no complaining about lack of updates!

I got a message the other day from one of my bud's telling me if I didn't link his site this week then he was going to kick my ass. After I stopped cowering, gained composure and returned from hiding under my bed I explained how much I valued my life and that I would do everything I could to get you guy's to check out Beer & Shots. So what are you waiting for!? Click here!

If you've been reading my site for any period of time you would notice that each week I plug Newbie Nudes. This just isn't because they are paying me to do so... it's because Newbie Nudes is easily the best site of its kind on the net today. Hundreds of thousands of pics which are added to daily, tonnes of vids and the ability to interact with thousands of people that love to get their gear off and show what they've got... did I mention it's all free too? Check it now!

If you've never visited IdleRiot before, now would definitely be the time to do so. They've just launched a new sleeker version of their site, and some pretty cool media to match! They've got sexy videos, cool games, and HOT pictures! WTF are you waiting for? Go Riot!

I can never decide between one reality sex site and the next, I wish there was a way to get more bang for my indecisive buck. Never fear, All Network Pass is here! It's a passport to paradise that won't be confiscated when you're caught smuggling a big sausage down you're pants.

I can think of two reasons why you haven't checked out Revenge TV yet. First up it's because you are new to the net and haven't heard about what will long be remembered as one of the greatest sites to ever be surfed. Secondly, because you are a spastic. This is truly the ultimate revenge site - thousands of vids and pics of ex's that managed to leave a jilted lover in their wake. How does that jilted lover get his own back? Revenge TV is how! Click here to see what I mean...

Dave Chapelle - Power Drill - Dancing Kid - Sophie Marceau Slip - Big Reds Tight Pussy - Stripping For Votes

Amazing Crash - Sidewalk Mosh - Britney Spears Isn't This Slutty! - Paris Loves Big Meat

One day mom was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So, she asked him, "What should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think spanking him is going to do any good."
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Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
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The other night i was in a bar and this guy walked in and sat down beside me. He said "you know, I can have sex with any woman in this bar". "Really?" I replied, "how are you gonna pull that off?". "Coz I'm a rapist." he beamed.

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A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked toward the Democrat, who jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me - I'm collecting disability."

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There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper, and not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition.

He inquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape". "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.

That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house and show it off. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm. "Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says and in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, another huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks - dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word. 'Her Mum's kinda cute', he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mum and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realises it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

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ORSM VIDEO I can only really make assumptions about this vid because not only is the quality shit-house but there's not a whole lot of English being spoken. Anyway it looks like some Iraqi snipers have taken a camera with them and gone out shooting what appear to be US soldiers. I've seen far more graphic vids around the place but at the end of the day it's another one of those 'realities of war' things that should remind us this shit is wrong. Check it... - Iraqi Snipers -

Two drug dealers are being prosecuted in court. The judge gives the two an option. They can either go to jail for life or they have to get an admirable amount of other drug dealers to give up the drug trafficking. The both choose to stop other drug dealer's form selling. Court is adjourned for two weeks. After the two weeks pass the two dealers appear before the judge. The judge asks one how many did you get to stop selling? The dealer replies that he stopped 100 dealers from selling again. The judge asked how? The first dealer replied that he drew two circles on the ground in front of the 100 sellers. One very large and one very small. He pointed to the big one and said,"This is your brain before drugs!", then pointed to the small one and said," This is your brain after drugs!"

A very interesting technique replied the judge. The judge ruled the first dealer free to go. He then proceeded to ask the second dealer how many dealers he got to quit. The second one said he got 1000 dealers to stop selling and give up a life of crime. The judge being astounded frantically asked him how he accomplished this goal. "Well", the second dealer said, "I drew two circles two, one big and one small." "I then pointed to the small circle and said This is your Butt hole before jail, and then pointed to the large circle and said This is your Butt hole after jail."

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READER MAIL
The Overflow returns this week due to the email from you guys coming in faster than I can post it on the site. Make sure you check it out - there's a tonne of good stuff to be found. For everyone else, if you have something you'd like to say, something cool you wanna send my way or simply care to make my day and show me your boobs then you may do so here.

adam wrote: Subject: britney fake Here's a britney fake I did a while ago. A few weeks after I posted it on a fake forum it made a UK paper! I hope you like it :) Awesome Photoshop job! -Orsm

Bill wrote: Subject: Crashed Ferrari Dear Orsm, I got those pictures from a friend and thought that they definitely fit the stuff you like. The accident happened somewhere in Brasil some months ago. Just to have an idea, the other car, a 70's Ford Corcel, isn't worth more than US$ 300. The driver reportedly came out of the car shouting that "each one should pay for his own damages".

Aaron Simko wrote: Subject: FUCK WALMART kick ass site, i alway check it on thursday, so help me got i can't wait till thursday. Any way i finally found somthing Original to post on your site. I work at wal mart and it sucks ass, i do what i can to make up for it. today i bought some reflective mail sign letters to put on my car, it was funny because i handed the guy the letters on by one. well i guess you can tell what my car is going to say... Party on

Sir Bearcat wrote: Subject: wife's picture as promised Hey Orsm, As promised, another nudie of my wife. She photographed and Photoshopped this just to tease me. They're both her, but, I can fantasize! God damn... if you guy's should ever break up please tell her she can contact me here! -Orsm

mike wrote: Subject: big brother hey dude. dunno if this is old news or not, but the chick "michelle" in the big bro house, well she's some kinda exotic dancer chick. It wouldn't be a BB without the token stripper in the house. -Orsm

Adam wrote: Subject: Same Person, Different Pictures? Hello Mr. Orsm, Absolutely love your site for the women as much as the jokes. While browsing, I come across some disgusting crap, but this one seemed to be linked to another one in a later update. I believe that the man who took that monster crap happens to be the goatsex guy! Yeah, you didn't feel a thing, I bet you didn't you sick bastard. Keep up the good work and please take into consideration that some of us hate to see things like that ruin the beautiful women you have on there. Greetings From Los Angeles!

<with held> wrote: Subject: pictures of my cross dressing "friend" Hey Mr. Orsm, Love your site. The random shiite never ceases to amuse me. I just thought I'd share a few pictures of my friend Cody who had to cross dress for his Sociology class but took it way too far. He even has makeup and a toe ring on! Whadda fag.

Mario wrote: Subject: Orsm I have enjoyed you site for some time now but bare breasts, pussys and penises are so bland why can't we get more of these type of images.

Gutter wrote: Subject: chinese restaurants Hey orsm, I've been checkin out your site for a while and i always wished i had something cool to contribute. I thought nothing is more hilarious than chinese restaurants with funny names. I just so happen to have been to a few, and not because i was looking for any with funny names either. Foo Kin is a place in cooperstown New York where the baseball hall of fame is. It's the only Chinese food place there, and it's not that bad. Big Wang is a place in China Town New York. We were just looking in Chinatown for a good place for Chinese food and lets just say this one jumped out at us. Their area code is 212 if anyone wants to prank them.

Bill Browne wrote: Subject: Cyclone Cyclone Ingrid Australia? Something makes me think these aren't in Australia at all. Anyone able to clear this up? -Orsm

faithful female reader wrote: Subject: Toilet Restaurant in Taiwan, funny pics Hi Orsm! I love your site you so much!!! It's nice that you let us readers know about your life, I actually do read them. :) It shows that you are just a normal person like the rest of us. I think one thing that sets you apart from other blog type sites is that you have such a great personality. You don't just post random stuff and you don't have a creepy, morbid, or disturbed type of character like <removed> (although I'm sure it's all for show). And please, no more gross RS! Anyway, here's a funny set of pictures my friend sent me that you might like to see.

Kayne wrote: Subject: check this shit out! Hey ORSM, can you put this on your update, if you dont already have it. look at what she is pointing at........ check what her profile says..... you have to zoom to about 300% to read it but its a cracker! Very funny. You guy's will need Adobe Acrobat [it's free] to view the file if you don't already. -Orsm

<with held> wrote: Subject: West Aussie Cop thought this will give all a laugh! This just had to make it onto the net !! I guess It happens to all of us at one stage.. :-) Typical West Aussie cop - any oppurtunity to sit on his ass. By the way I am joking... you aren't ALL fat and lazy. Please don't arrest me... -Orsm

Vince wrote: Subject: new video Glad to see you loved the last video, "tribute to the VR6", as many pple told me.. Well I was bored and did another one. Please visit EuroAdmiration.com to see more videos and talk to cool pple about european tuning.