<with held> wrote:
Subject: Letter to Bank
Hi Mr ORSM, Great Sight! Finally I have something to contribute!!!!!!! I have attached a letter I wrote to my local bank (ANZ) who I moderately dislike (they may change there minds one day)...... in infact I dislike banks full stop wheather there mine or not. I find nothing better then wasting there time with pointless dribble.... in an attempt to become a millionaire, I sent the bank the attached letter....... they responded with they can't drop the $5 account keeping fee as its used for the maintenance of the branches, ATM's etc..... fair point.... they didn't mention the multi-million dollar paychecks they pay to their upper mangement.... but I like to think I'm doing my part to support them. If you remove my banking details and address off the letter if you post it that would be good, unless you think lots of people will send money to me... the bank won't...... so there's no harm in asking...... keep up the good work......... on second thoughts... no one ever gives me money... will you... I'm only asking a few million........lol!

ps... the letter I recieved back took my request seriously.... which is funnier then anything I could ever type.

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ANZ Customer Service Centre
Locked Bag 4050
South Melb
VIC 3205

06/8/06

Dear Sir/Ma’am,

As a valued customer of the ANZ bank for the past decade, I have decided to seek a reward for my ongoing banking with your company.

As a child carer I made $19,000 in the last financial year. Your bank made an operating profit of over $1877 million. As you can see the difference is quite large.

I seem to be paying your company $5 per month for my savings account, which is $60 per year. I am giving your company 0.316% of my annual salary. If the tables were turned, using the same percentage your company would be giving me $5,912,550 per year of your profit.

I believe since I’ve been a fairly good customer over the past decade, I was hoping your bank may be able to either make the above payment into my account ($5,912,550) as a once off reward for being such a nice customer, or you could drop my annual $5.00 per month fee. If you could do both these requests I would be very happy indeed.

If you do make the one off payment mentioned above, what is the maximum amount of money that I can electronically transfer using BPAY? I can think of nothing better then to transfer $1 million on my TESLTRA phone account, then send them nasty letters saying they owe me money.

I look forward to seeing if anyone else has requested this before from your bank.

Yours faithfully