Subject: Letter to Bank
Hi Mr ORSM, Great Sight! Finally I have
something to contribute!!!!!!! I have attached a letter I wrote
to my local bank (ANZ) who I moderately dislike (they may change
there minds one day)...... in infact I dislike banks full stop wheather
there mine or not. I find nothing better then wasting there time
with pointless dribble.... in an attempt to become a millionaire,
I sent the bank the attached letter....... they responded with they
can't drop the $5 account keeping fee as its used for the maintenance
of the branches, ATM's etc..... fair point.... they didn't mention
the multi-million dollar paychecks they pay to their upper mangement....
but I like to think I'm doing my part to support them. If you remove
my banking details and address off the letter if you post it that
would be good, unless you think lots of people will send money to
me... the bank won't...... so there's no harm in asking...... keep
up the good work......... on second thoughts... no one ever gives
me money... will you... I'm only asking a few million........lol!
ps... the letter I recieved
back took my request seriously.... which is funnier then anything
I could ever type.
ANZ Customer Service Centre
Locked Bag 4050
As a valued customer of the ANZ
bank for the past decade, I have decided to seek a reward for my
ongoing banking with your company.
As a child carer I made $19,000
in the last financial year. Your bank made an operating profit of
over $1877 million. As you can see the difference is quite large.
I seem to be paying your company $5 per month for my savings account,
which is $60 per year. I am giving your company 0.316% of my annual
salary. If the tables were turned, using the same percentage your
company would be giving me $5,912,550 per year of your profit.
I believe since I’ve been
a fairly good customer over the past decade, I was hoping your bank
may be able to either make the above payment into my account ($5,912,550)
as a once off reward for being such a nice customer, or you could
drop my annual $5.00 per month fee. If you could do both these requests
I would be very happy indeed.
If you do make the one off payment
mentioned above, what is the maximum amount of money that I can
electronically transfer using BPAY? I can think of nothing better
then to transfer $1 million on my TESLTRA phone account, then send
them nasty letters saying they owe me money.
I look forward to seeing if anyone
else has requested this before from your bank.