A man spoke frantically into the phone,
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine
months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside
his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting
"Please come out and give yourself."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped
a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from
his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop,
and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give
me all your money or I'll shoot, the man shouted, "That's not
what I said!"
6. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without
a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)
7. THE GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in
the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks,
new to boating,were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried,
they couldn't get their brand new 22ft going. It was very sluggish
in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power was applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A
thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.
The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was
the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in
the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER THIS IS! TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely
in place, was the trailer. Does any one else find it frightening
that the majority of these took place in the United States of America