|This just tells you how hard it is
to be single nowadays...
This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Jay
went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
took the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter...snowing and quite
cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was
a day trip (no overnight). Oh no, not Marilyn. She was a good girl.
They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving
back down the mountain when she gradually began to realise that
she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with
a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested
she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because
of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told
him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road or it
would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside
the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the
deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on
the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman
and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she
felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon
finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately
came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy
metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem
due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the
humour she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking
so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her
butt off and needed some assistance"! He came around the car
as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she
looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too,
got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was,
they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take
something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in
the first place, both quickly realised that there was only one way
to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time
date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show...she took the
prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down."
And you thought your first date was embarrassing.