|MARRIAGE: PART 1
Typical macho man married typical good-looking
lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and
at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that
I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and
card-playing when I want with my buddies and don't you give me a
hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with
me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock
every night... whether you're here or not."
MARRIAGE: PART 2
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the
day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When
you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies
My Wife - Cold As Ever".
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you
die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My
Husband Stiff At Last."
MARRIAGE: PART 3
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a
fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says,
"And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of
the house. After sometime he realises he was nasty and decides to
make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long
to answer the phone?"
She says "I was in bed." "In bed
this early, doing what?" he asks. "Getting a second opinion!"
MARRIAGE: PART 4
A man has six children and is
very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he
starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his
voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'".
His wife, irritated by
her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime
you're ready, Father of Four."