Subject: "Ladies Home Journal"
Sitting in a doctors office, I saw this cover and thought the rag would only be about 3 pages long if it were written by a man.
If this were Men's Home Journal, the articles would be very short:
"De-clutter your life"
Throw your stupid shit in the garbage. Stop buying more stupid shit. If this is still a problem, live in a smaller fucking house so you won't have room for so much stupid shit.
"Fashion trends that look good on everyone"
Sorry about the joke guys, there is no such thing as a "trend" that looks good on everyone. However, here are a few helpful hints:
1. Many women look better in the dark. Plus, you can save on your light bill.
2. Hey ladies, never get completely naked. Always wear earrings and a smile.
3. The chick makes the trend, the trend does not make the girl. A babe in a burlap sack is OK with me!
"75 ideas for summer food and fun"
Why limit it to just 75? There are thousands of items in your typical grocery store. In fact, www.beerme.com lists 28,263 beers from 11,467 breweries.
"The private life of Laura Bush"
Hey, fuck you! You like your privacy, maybe she does to. Go bother someone else.
"How to guarantee your marriage will last"
To all women:
1. Stay the hell out of my garage
2. De-clutter your life (see article herein)
3. Move your ass enough so that it at least stops growing
4. Make a decent meal once in a while
5. Get more girlfriends, they probably enjoy listening to you bitch.