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Email Overflow...

The below email is one I posted in the 26-08-2004 update...

Yerffaccm wrote:
Subject: Your View of America
Mr. Orsm, I'm currently an American citizen considering making the move to Australia within the next few years. I was just curious as to how people in your country viewed the current actions that President George W. Bush is taking aroung the world, namely in Iraq, and just your overall opinion of him and the United States in general. Also, do you think John Kerry would make a better leader. If you have the time I would really appreciate you getting back to on this, your insight as an Australian citizen would be great to have.

I decided to throw it open to you guy's on account of I am sick of copping shit every time I comment on anything even remotely political...

robflanigan wrote:
Subject: America
to the world ; we aussie`s do what we have to do to rid the world of tyranny & terrorism. unfortunately gutless do- gooders seem hell bent on selling the country to the lowest bidder so our country is now very fast becoming a sess pool of the worlds crap. very quickly totally fucking the planets greatest nation.

Scott.B wrote:
Subject: Yerffaccm
First of all, great site... Now to business. In response to the email from Yerffaccm. I Would like to add my personal opinion to this seemingly constant debate. George W Bush, Better known as "W" is a "Wanker"! If anyone was wondering, that's where the "W" comes from.

Not being an American, I can only comment on the actions of W in regards to the much publicised war in Iraq. Whilst I believe Sadam is a loony and should be shot on sight, the war was done for W's personal agenda. It was not done for the good of America and the free people, if they wanted to protect us, they would have got him a long time ago. Without going into it too much, the war is a sham.

Onto whether we like Americans. Personally I don't have a problem with the average American, but I do wonder how you could allow an illiterate imbecile to be elected to the role of the most powerful person on earth??? Let alone lead your country and others into a bogus war were thousands have been killed, when we probably could have killed the fool with one well placed bomb (don't kid me about America's intelligence agencies).

As for John Kerry, I don't hear enough about him to form an opinion, but I will say, almost anyone would do a better job than W...

If I can give you some advise about coming to OZ. Smoke a joint before you land and stay in that mind set. We are a laid back country who doesn't go for all the hype and wank they we see you Americans enjoy. Otherwise, welcome mate!

Michael C. Deegan wrote:
Subject: Re: 'Your view of America"
In response to Yerffaccm. Most Australians have about as much interest in American politics as your average US Citizen has in Australian politics, ie: None. Politicians are globally unique, that is to say, they are like flags. They flap which ever way the wind is blowing. I keep on hoping that if I ignore them long enough, they will go away. *grin*

dellboy wrote:
Subject: Response to yerffaccm
Hi Orsm, ol' boy! This is a message in response to Yerffaccm: Bush is seen as a wanker around the world. Not even the Brits like him, and they're supposed to be in the same bed..... Bush has no brains, doesn't know anything other than what's going on within his own four walls and the world would be pleased to see the back of him. We don't care what Kerry is like, ANYTHING other than Daddy's boy Bush will be kindly greeted around the globe.....

Ben Brooks wrote:
Subject: My View of America
In reply to the American who was thinking about moving to Australia, Personly I think George Bush is one of the bigger fuck ups ever in history. I don't know much about John Kerry, but I am sure that I will welcome any American fleeing their countries current leaders.


Next up was a rather long yet quite entertaining email in regards to my thoughts on motorbike ownership from the same update...

click to enlarge click to enlarge

Brigadier Ignatius Q. Unapologetic-Muffdiver wrote:
Subject: Why cruisers are metro.
Hey Orsm, Long time lurker. Love your work....well, until you mentioned your unfortunate desire to ride, and worse yet *purchase* a motorcycle that fits the description "some fat Harley type of thing" - commonly known as a "cruiser".

Now, i understand your experience in the motorcycling world is limited, or more accurately, non-existant, and so rather than jumping a plane to come beat some sense into you, i will patiently explain why "Cruisers are Metro." (NOTE: this might read why "Cruisers are Gay", but many newcomers to God's Own Pastime often make the mistake you will later thank me for saving you from. They know they dare not aspire to the daredevil heights at which sportbike riders play - which is sensible, as most sportsbike riders have been riding for a loong, looooong time - or they dont remain sportsbike riders for long. Knowing that a 170kg motorcycle with 180 bhp is somewhat beyond thier skills, the plodding padawan's of motorcycling merriment often, through simple ignorance, turn to the dark side of the two-wheeled world - Cruisers; the feet-forward, engine-case-scraping, fat-bellied, under-powered, handles-like-a-greased-pig-in-a-pool-full-of-jelly fat chicks of the two-wheeled world.

Much like a fat chick, a cruiser is fun to ride - until somebody sees you. Then, the laughing and pointing starts. Why? because, my son, you've come along 30 years too late.

There was a time when cruisers were hard. Hard as Lenny McLean (for the ignorant, he played Barry the Bishop in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", was *the* hard man of London for more than 20 years, underground bare-knuckle fighter par excellence). But then they, like many other manly and highly respectable places, pursuits and purposes, became gentrified. As ever, the forces of gentrification are the interior decorators, the hand-bag designers, the throwers of elegant dinner parties and scatterers of throw cushions.

Now, i'm all for people expanding their horizons and embracing the zen-like mobile m editation that is motorcycling, but the following real life experience might the worlds of motorcysling and metrosexuality should never meet.

I was sitting at a cafe with a riding buddy of mine, after a quiet mountain route ride. The merry tinkle of our boyish laughter at the simple joys of shattering the laws of both land a physics on a crotch rocket was torn asunder by the foul, gutteral, tuned gargling of barely running v-twin engines. Without a word spoken, we both grimaced. We knew, without looking, the evil pnuema of the Harley was about to enter our idyllic surrounds.

No sooner had we both shaken our heads in disgust when half a dozen harley's rolled around the corner and pulled up to the curb, much to the dismay of the english tea weilding matrons and pipe and slippers diggers frequenting the cafe. The many riders and pillion dismounted and removed matt-black open face helmets and leather jackets to reveal......shaggy, dishevelled, blond-tipped $300 designer haircuts and skin tight, spangly "Kylie" t-shirts. No sooner had they commandered a couple of tables than the orders for "skinny latte's" and "ooh, the thigh-threatening chockie cake, sweetie" were flooding in.

I shot you not. Fkn KYLIE shirts and skinny lattes. On closer inspection, many of the leather jackets boasted long leather fringes. The same kind my mum's leather jacket has. Interestingly enough, my 50-something mum also rides a cruiser.

This is an appropraite time to mention an important metric in deciding the desirability of a motorcycle: The Schoolgirls-Per-Pass (SPP) ratio, which describes the number of come-hither looks, catcalls, whistles and panty-flashes on recieves when passing an highschool right on leaving time. Obviously, a high SPP ratio is desirable. Scientific tests show that cruisers have on the whole, a zero or less SPP ratio.

That, sadly or no, is the world you are seeking entry to. But, if you desire not the brutal acceleration and mind-bending handling of a sportsbike, what option do you have, other than the horrific cruiser.

You have what has become the no-bullshit, straight-shooting non-wannabe-boy-racer's motorcycle - The Naked Bike.

Naked bikes are de-tuned, less aggressively chassised versions of modern road going sportsbikes. Called "Naked" because they eschew the all-surrounding plastic fairings of modern sportsbikes for a simple, rugged and manly all-engine look, the torquey performance, often retro-seventies/eighties looks and ease of use of these wonderful creatures have made them instant classics.

Any of the naked produced by the Japanese Big Four - Honda Hornet (600 or 900), Kawasaki Z1000, Suzuki Bandit (1300) and Yamaha Fazer (FZ6 [600] or FZ1[1000]), would amply meet the needs of a good performance car enthusiast such as yourself without driaining your masculinity or draggin you over to the dark side. If you have a few more bucks to spend, the Aprillia Tuono is quite possibly the god of nakeds...and all of them rate highly on the SPP scale.

I've attached a few pics that show the rugged beauty of a few of the naked bikes available.

Sit, take a deep breath, and ask yourslef.....Do i realy like Kylie, skinny lattes and throw cushions that much??

Regards,

Brig. H. Q. Unrepentant-Muffdiver.


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