|WORLD RECORDS - WOMEN
The smallest curbside space successfully
reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m, equivalent to three
standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified
Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the maneuver
at 11:15am in Ropergate, Pontefract and successfully parked within
three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14mins later. There was slight
damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the two adjoining
cars, as well as shop frontage and two lamp posts.
The longest journey completed with the handbrake
on, was one of 313 miles from Stranraer to Hollyhead, by Dr. Julie
Thorn, at the wheel of a Saab 900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled
burning two miles into her journey at Aird, but pressed on to Hollyhead
with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds
the records for the longest completed with the choke fully out and
the right indicator flashing.
The longest period of time that two women
in a pornographic film have sat together on a settee without starting
to fondle each other is 8.3secs, in the 1994 low budget production
'Strap on Sally vol.3'. The longest a woman has sat alone on the
settee without starting to fondle herself is 5.2 secs. in the same
Traffic Light Cosmetics
The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic
lights whilst applying make up was one of 1hr 51mins 38secs by Miss
J. Dobson at a road junction in the centre of Preston on the 1st
August 1975. Miss Dobson, a piano teacher, beautified herself through
212 cycles of the light, creating a tailback of irate motorists
stretching 28 miles towards Leeds.
Group Toilet Visit
The record for the largest group of women
to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the dept.
of Social Security, Long Benton. At their annual celebration at
a nightclub in Newcastle upon Tyne on 12th Oct 1994 Mrs. Beryl Crabtree
got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other
members of the party. Moving a mass the group entered the toilet
at 9:52pm and after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2hrs
WORLD RECORDS - MEN
On 9th June 1996, Mr. Harold Brayson (GB)
struck his thumb with a stone mason’s mallet whilst breaking
concrete in his back yard in Tewksbury, Gloucestershire. He went
on to swear for 14mins 7secs without stopping once or repeating
a swear word. He later attempted to better this feat on BBC TVs
Record Breakers program by dropping a car battery on his foot. It
ended in failure when he repeated the word bastard after 12mins
The greatest amount of beer drunk before
going to the lavatory was 25.5 litres (45 pints of assorted weak
lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield downed in various pubs in Knutsford
high street, Cheshire between 12:15pm and 2:38pm on 22nd December
The longest piss delivered at one continuous
scoot was one of 36mins 24secs by Mr George Wingfield (GB) in the
doorway of a newsagents shop in Knutsford high street on 22nd December
1986. Mr Wingfield was arrested and charged with a public order
offence 17mins into his record attempt, but arresting officers had
to wait a further 19mins 24sec before taking him back to the station
for a kicking.
Hottest Curry Eaten
Many claims are made about the ferocity
of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substantiate.
The hottest verifiable curry eaten was an XXXHot Chicken Murg Thaal
with extra chilies consumed by George Wingfield (GB) at the Bengal
Tiger Restaurant, Knutsford on 23rd December 1986. The curry was
reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames,
singeing the waiter’s eyebrows.
The largest and most catastrophic fart was
one dropped by Mr. George Wingfield (GB) in the car park of the
Dog and Duck, Knutsford, on the morning of the 24th December 1986.
Suffering from terrible guts Mr. Wingfield gingerly attempted to
squeeze one out whilst bending to pick up his car keys, but the
resulting flatulent explosion blew his entire digestive tract out
of his arse. Attending firemen hosed down his smoking guts for two
hours before paramedics with breathing apparatus could begin the
process of pushing them back up.