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Fellow Phuket Traveller...

<with held> wrote:
Subject: Fellow Phuket traveller
Hi mate, Saw your blog post and thought I'd share a few thoughts since I also just returned from Phuket. I was there with a group of five guys all in their twenties and unlike you, as a single bloke I was more able to take advantage of some of the local, ahem, attractions...

It started on our first night at a pub/club on Bangla when we were consistently descended on by any number of local ladies who seemed extraordinarily friendly and keen for a chat (and for us to shout them drinks... which turned into a bit of a theme during the trip... I'm pretty sure drunk Aussies just look like walking dollar signs around there) although nothing much came of it that night as we all got completely retarded and were lucky we even made it back to our rooms.

The next night (in Bangla, of course) we took it a bit slower and I ended up chatting to a smoking hot Thai bargirl who was pretty much all over me and kept suggesting we go to another bar when she finished work. Another bar turned out to be "my hotel room" but the weird part is I still wasn't sure if I'd a) picked up, or b) bought a hooker. Even after our little session was done she showed no signs of wanting to leave and even wanted to cuddle all night. After going for round two in the morning she asked what my plans were for the day and I started to wonder how I was actually going to get rid of her. Not to worry though as she eventually decided she wanted to go home - and suggested I could help "pay for her taxi". Ah ha. She wouldn't tell me how much this "taxi" might be and asked how much I thought. I ended up giving her 3000 Baht ($90-ish) which I think may have been too much but whatevs. And off she went.

I also got a few massages (massaaaaaage? MASSAAAAAAGE???) while I was there. The prominent ones along the beach road seemed pretty good, they've got those recliner chairs and great aircon and relaxing music and it's like 300 Baht ($10-ish) for an hour or so foot or back massage. Lots of tourists of all ages and both genders in there, nothing suss going on. However I found myself at a loose end one evening when it was too early to get stuck into Bangla Rd so I thought I'd kill an hour with another massage. This one turned out slightly different. For starters the girl who spruiked me pretty much looked like a hooker, but I thought it might be nice to get a back rub from a pretty girl instead of a middle aged woman so in I went. Not to the recliner chairs at the front though, upstairs to some dingy curtained-off cubicles that looked like the set of a Tarantino movie, each with a mattress, pillow and towels. She wanted my shirt off before we started, which was fair enough.

After doing the back and shoulders thing for a while (not particularly well I might add) she asks "legs"? Well, I've come this far, why not. So I say yes. "Off" she says, tugging at my waistband. Ok, no problems. Fly unzipped, I start to pull them down but she says "both" with another tug at my jocks. Fuck it, why not. Off they come. So here comes more massage oil and she goes to town on my butt cheeks and thighs (especially inner thighs) for a while. Until eventually she asks: "front?"

I'm pretty sure I resigned myself to this a while back although I'm not sure exactly when it happened. But I obligingly roll over - with no hope of disguising what is now a raging boner. She places a hand towel over it, straddles me, and proceeds to rock gently back and forth on it as she rubs more oil into my chest. But not for very long. "Happy ending?" she asks casually. I'm completely incapable of saying no by now, but I'm pretty sure my attempts at sounding casual and confident failed miserably and I just half-mumbled "yep".

"How much you give me?" Fuck, not this again. Start low. I offer a thousand but all that gets me is a frown. Hmm. I try 1500. "Two thousand" she says. Ok, we have a deal. Pretty sure I'm being ripped off but $60 seems a small price at this point. She strips down to just the G-banger for the remainder, with a little bit of titty fuck thrown in for good measure. Although I was slightly mortified when she pauses partway through to offer: "blow job?"

With no sign of a condom anywhere nearby I politely decline. Side note: never kiss a girl who works in a massage parlour near Bangla Rd (just in case you were thinking about it). Once we're done she leaves me alone with a roll of toilet paper to tidy myself up. When I get downstairs she's fully clothed, filing her nails near the cash register. She gives me a bottle of water and a polite smile as I pay and leave.

A couple of nights later (after we've done the Phi Phi thing, markets etc etc) we were at another, quieter bar, away from Bangla, and had another girl (not as hot as the first one but still pretty cute) show significant interest. By which I mean, she seemed to actually be in love with me after about five minutes and because I was drunk I was stupid enough to exchange phone numbers. I'll spare you the lead up work and skip to the wild crazy sex because she was seriously seriously into it. Again she stayed the night, wanted to cuddle, wanted seconds in the morning etc, but this time she didn't want to go. Awkward. I said I had shit to do and did she need money for a cab, and she nodded, so I gave her 1000 Baht and showed her the door. I thought she might have the shits a bit after that but even now she's still messaging me every second day saying she misses me, she thinks about me all the time, and she loves me and that she'll wait for me. Yeah I know, pretty fucked up huh?

So that's what a young Aussie bloke can get up to in Patong, pretty cheaply, and without really trying. Before you ask: no, I'm not proud; no, I wouldn't do this shit in Aus; yes, a condom was worn for all sexual contact.

Cheers mate and as usual if you use it no details. Love your work.

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