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Email Overflow...

Email Overflow is where all the reader mail I couldn't fit on the main page ends up. This doesn't mean that everything you will find here is crap... just that I'm limited by space on the main page and with the sheer volume of stuff you guys send in it's impossible to post it all every week.

If you would like to contribute to Reader Mail and have your stuff viewed by millions then we are always more than happy to receive absolutely anything you wanna send! Funny videos, naked pics of your ex or current girlfriend, jokes or practically anything else you can staple to an email are all welcome... all you must do is click here and get it happening.

Anyway let's start with a joke I posted in the 2006.08.10 update...

A man walked into a curio shop in Sydney. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it. He took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?"

"Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars if you bring it back," said the owner. The man gave the shop owner twelve dollars. "I'll take the rat and I won't be bringing it back."

As he walked down the street carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of alleys and sewers and began following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting, so he began to walk a little bit faster. Within a couple of blocks, the group of rats behind him grew to over a hundred, and they began squealing.

He started to trot towards the Harbour. He took a nervous look around and saw that the rats numbered in the thousands, maybe in the millions, and they were all squealing and coming towards him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the water and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Harbour as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the water after it, and were drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop. "Aha," said the owner, "You're bringing it back!" "Actually no," said the man. "I came back to see how much you want for that little bronze Muslim over there!"

This little ball tearer prompted the following email and my response a week later...

Mohamed El-Hajj wrote:
Subject: Joke about Muslims
Mr.Orsm, Well I know saying this wont make a difference to you but here it goes : I have been following your site for over 5 years and have enjoyed ever since. However in ur last update I read the joke u posted about the Bronze Rat" which clearly insults Muslims. First don't give me the crap bullshit about fucking freedom of speech and all of that bullshit : I dare you say that joke in front of a Muslim. Sometimes I cant beleive how fucked up the world can be... Why the hell would u post a joke like that ? Just leave other people's religion alone , I DARE you to post the same joke again but instead of "Muslim" , put the word "Christian". If you are going to reply, please defend yourself with serious words instead of those silly comments you reply with to some viewers who bother and write all u do is reply with silly comments.If you are man enough to post such a joke , at least be a man in defending it and once again don't give me the freedom of speech crap or "take it easy its only a joke".

And my reply...

First let me say I don't claim to be highly educated, overly smart or versed in Islam however when I hear a joke that I think is funny I will laugh. So my reply? Simple - if I posted the joke with Christians instead of Muslims then I'd have received one less email this week because no one would have cared, been offended or flown a plane into my house. -Orsm

Pretty much as soon as I updated last week you guys began to reply. Here's a little cross-section...

Justin Reed wrote:
Subject: vote of support
:D all i can say after having stoped laughing, is u fucking champion, I bow to your authentic aussie greatness, an i bet so dose the rest of the world. Respect to your choice of words and versing, a poet couldnt have done a better job. =) "flowen a plane in to my house" i am so ganna post that on every portaloo i get half a chance too. Keep up the good shit, always one extra vote of support here from a felow west aussie in perth also

Subject: greetings from michigan
I totally agree with you my friend, about the bronze rat joke that you replied about. Had you put jew or christian instead of muslim, no one would have cared. I am a muslim and i was offended by the nature of the joke for a moment, but then i realize that this is how the world looks at us now. Thats right, we the muslim people, have made a circus around our own religion, culture and lifestyle. Love your site, had sent some stuff and will send some more stuff for the site. No decrease in my appreciation for your work. The joke was good bytheway. have fun. Keep up the good work.

nathan robinson wrote:
Subject: a good joke about drunks
And by the way, I love how you put that jihad in his place, why would you worship the most hated creature on earth. tell him in thailand they eat rats like popcorn if it make him feel any better. And i guess if you want to make fun of all cultures, the only reason rain dances work is because they dont quit dancing untill it fucking rains. Of course I can make that joke because I'm 25% native american, lol. I love your site and look forward to it every week, later.

Max wrote:
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj's
Just a note to say superb response to Mohamed El-Hajj's ridiculous fucking complaint. Your perfectly right, if you had put christian no one would have given a toss. And no matter what he says there is an element of freedom of speech here, ifs hes so unhappy with a joke/comment like that maybe he should stop getting his kicks from viewing websites such as yours that are created and survive only in a democratic / free speech driven society i.e. the west. Great sight, respect from London

Chad wrote:
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj wrote:about the muslim joke
Orsm, I agree with your take on this one in your reply. The world needs to laugh... especially at themselves. Or at least not take things so seriously. I wrote awhile back on this matter...I though muslims were devout. Isn't looking at a place where porn is shown a bit out of character? I say post all the stuff you find - not too keen on the gore, but if I don't want to see it I don't click it.

drew dalzell wrote:
Subject: Muslim joke
First off all I would like to say to Mohamed El-Hajj if you have really been checking orsm for as long as you say you have then you should know already that Mr. Orsm will post just about anything he thinks his funny and Muslims are not and probably won’t be the last religious group that he makes fun of. Honestly take the fucking stick out of you ass and relax. I am sure you have laughed at his other religious jokes and not thought twice about it next I would like to say to Mr. Orsm keep up the great work and never let some pissed off guy who got his feelings hurt stop you.

Anthony wrote:
Subject: Muslim joke
Orsm, just a quick reply to the Muslim complaining about the joke you posted... One thing that pisses me off about these Muslims is that they are so fuckin touchy. Fuck, it was only a joke. And your 100% right about if it was about a Christian, cause we know its a bloody joke. If its funny laugh at it. Mate, too sensitive these pricks. And look at Dean Jones for example. When he made that remark about the terrorist cricketer, hehehe, that was funny. And he does look like a terrorist anyway. Oh but the Muslim society of Australia, or some shit whatever they are called, quoted say in on the news that what Dean Jones had said, and the trouble he had caused of it, will never be fixed because the damage was done. Ohhh myyy, poor little muslims are upset are they? Fuck off and get over it.

As long as they look and act like there own, they will never come apart of normal society. Ohhh, Israel is bombing Lebo land and my family is there. Quick Australian Government, we need your help. They are "innocent Australians" over there. They are only "Australians" when they wanna be.

Doin a top job too Orsm.

Greg wrote:
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj wrote:
Will they ever gain the ability to have a laugh at them selves like the rest of us? I have never ever met a Muslim that can take a joke about them. Yet they will take a shot (literally and physically) at anyone as they see fit. Get over your selves and get a sense of humour.

<with held> wrote:
Subject: RE: Mohamed El-Hajj
Hey Mr. ORSM, First I'd like to say what a bloody great Aussie site you have made here. Secondly, I'd like to say to Mohamed El-Hajj that if he and his Muslim, Mohommad arse kissing, camel rooting, kamakaze, suicide mad, dickhead brothers, sisters and countrymen didn't take everything so seriously, perhaps we wouldn't give them another thought - let alone a bad one. Go and worship who you want, how you want and where you want but stop having a homicidal tantrum when anyone makes a joke at your expense. I am a fat prick - how many jokes do you think I have been at the receiving end of? Oh by the way, I WILL insult the next Muslim I see because you dared me to.

Mr. ORSM - please keep my details private as I don't want a Boeing 767 landing on my house either.

Michael wrote:
Subject: my two-cents worth about Mohamed
Okay, so you say you've been "following" the site for over 5 years now. For a while, updates were twice-monthly (usually), and now they're weekly (mostly). SO, that's anywhere from 20-50 updates PER YEAR x 5 years = 100-250 DIFFERENT bits of content that Mr. Orsm has put up for everyone's viewing pleasure, and that you have WILLINGLY perused. Throughout this time, Mr. Orsm has been very fair in that he rips on everyone equally, without prejudice or discrimination. Now, suddenly, you've decide to take offense just because ONE of the jokes he posted poked fun at your religion... gimme a friggin' break. Man, you prove the stereotype that Muslims can dish it out, but the sure can't take it. Sure, you can let everyone else get trashed (for example, "your" people waste no time with raping the Jews at every turn), but when it comes time for you to be served, you cry foul. Seems to me that you have two choices: 1.) build a bridge and GET OVER IT (it's not like the joke targeted you personally), or 2.) quit coming to the site.

And now for a huge bunch of other stuff that's been lying around for far too long. Please keep in mind that some of these may be out of context and not relevant...

Subject: Biltong & Droë Wors
Hi Mr. ORSM, Still enjoying your site. Hope you can use these. Here are some pictures of a old South-African winter tradition. It is Biltong & droë wors. It is meat that is procured in a special way so it does not rot, then hung to dry in the winter sun. As disgusting as it sounds,... it taste great! Keep up your good work.

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Some Guy wrote:
Subject: Ex-Wife air crash
Some of you may know or have heard of my ex-wife's accident. She had started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started (1994) and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year. Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in a garden in Serpentine because of bad weather and crashed. The National Transportation Safety Board officials have issued a preliminary determination citing pilot error contributed to the accident, as she was flying a basic model in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating.) The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. Photograph was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft. She was very, very lucky.

<with held> wrote:
Subject: Toin Coss
what is a toin and how do you coss it?

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Daniel wrote:
Subject: art
Hey there, this should be art. It stands on a round abound in a little village called Midden-Drente which is of course in Holland. If you people got weird art outthere that you wanna share.... send it my way.

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Bobby Ward wrote:
Here is a great optical illusion photo taken of a Lufthansa 747-400 and a United 757-200 that were on simultaneous approaches to runways 28L and 28R at San Francisco (SFO). The separation requirement for flying parallel and simultaneous approaches is 225 meters (about 750 feet). These two aircraft are at a safe distance for the approaches they are each flying. Due to the 747 being three times larger than the 757, and being slightly behind, it gives this incredible optical illusion.

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Stuart Kinner wrote:
Subject: Believe it or not this is Peter Crouch's Girlfriend!
Even a freak from the circus can get a nice girlfriend. Amazing what £40k a week can do! Plus goal scoring bonuses, so that's... £40k a week, then! ;-)

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<with held> wrote:
Subject: Pitgina
Hi Orsm, I was browsing your webpage just now and I came across a woman that vaguely resembles Jennifer Aniston. Her armpit vaguely resembles something else (images attached).

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<with held> wrote:
Subject: Kermit the frog sucks cock w/pics
I dont want to be identified so just say these are anonomous.

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Mike wrote:
Subject: German Contruction
Hey Mr. Orsm, I took these pics in my home town, it's near Munich. The government decided to build a sidewalk ... clevery enough - after they put the speed limit on the road.. Take care

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Joel wrote:
Subject: NO GOLFING?
Why not drive your Golf in a park in Helena Valley?
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<with held> wrote:
Subject: pic
Attached is a pic of a real tosser. Nathan is his name & he is from Ballarat, Vic. Would be nice if he could see it on your site. Keep up the good work im a long time viewer.

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Jean wrote:
Subject: redneck
i love the site and have wanted to post for a bit now thought this pic of a friend would be fun keep up the good sight!!!!

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Rob Hart wrote:
Subject: One Pissed Off Ex Boyfriend - READ FIRST CAREFUL!!!
And she seems fit for sport too, but I somehow think the fox will no longer be on Fox. Lauren Bowden, a sideline sports reporter for a Fox station and the daughter of Clemson University football coach Tommy Bowden, had this picture of her put on the internet by her ex-boyfriend. Let's hear it for pissed off ex-boyfriends. He coundn't take her house, he couldn't take her car, but he could take her picture.

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GILBERT wrote:
Subject: lock n pop
So this is how all those street/hip hop dancers get there moves?

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Martin wrote:
Subject: blackcats
Hey Orsm, first off i just wanna say that you have a kick ass site and i have checked it every week for a few years now. Im getting my friends to do it too. Well this passed 4th of July, my bro inlaw decided to fill a bucket with blackcats and put it in the street. It was awesome, one of the loudest things ive heard. We did it a second time and put an artillery shell in the middle. Didnt get that on film though :( Well, keep up the good work. Thanks.

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Micky wrote:
Subject: Hopefully this is worthy of ORSM.NET
Dear Mr. Orsm, I am a longtime- first-time because I wanted to GIVE you something worthy of the "BEST" site on the internet!!! I am an avid HBO fan...The Soprano's, Sex in the City, Entourage, etc... Today in my surfing, (killing time until your next update) I found these pictures of the most BEAUTIFUL GIRL in HBO's stable this year!!! I am talking about Entourage's Sloan; played by the talented and sexy Emmanuelle Chriqui!!!! After being AWOL all season so far, she came back with a bang and a menage a trois' this past week and I hope someone 'caps those pictures... In the meantime, here is the most I have ever seen of Emmanuelle Chriqui !!! Thanks for being so awesome!!!!

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bada bing wrote:
Subject: Girls from Malaysia exposed!
Howzaaaaa Mr Orsm!!! Been coming to ur website for quite some time now. The best site inda worlddd... & really luv with what u r doing here. Keep up the good work. Here's some photos to share with orsm fan. No nudity but these girls from Malaysia are having a great day. Malaysian girls gone wild! Slurrppppppp!!!!!

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<with held> wrote:
Subject: More World Cup Cheating
Hey Mr. ORSM, my co-worker and I are huge fans of your site and never miss an update, keep doing a great job. Seeing your update where you produced photo evidence of the blatant cheating taking place in the World Cup (and the referee's lack of doing anything about it) I decided to send you these pictures of the Trinidad & Tobago VS England match where Crouch held down the T&T defender by the hair that resulted in an 85 minute goal, which eventually lead to the 2-0 defeat of the smallest country to ever reach the World Cup. It seems to me that the referees are doing whatever it takes to allow the "bigger" countries to going through to the final rounds.

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Andrew wrote:
Subject: oops! ... England Football Team...
Just noticed that the Whine bottle from the other day had fell over, so here it is again. Also, just noticed this curious little picture of the England team returning to England after their disastrous Word Cup effort. They should be looking a little more shame-faced in my opinion.

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Paul Edwards wrote:
Subject: World Cups pics
Right, without boring you too much, here are some decent snaps Paulo's World Cup tour;
1: the lads, had to put it in.
2: A drunk German girl on a lion, surely she is a stripper/hooker/porn star?
3: Outstanding Croatian representation.
4: This is nuts, this a bar FULL of Croatian supporters with dozens of flares alight. Dont know how they can breathe or see. Berzerk.

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If you've got something to say or share then drop me a line here.

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