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Okay so I had a bit of a whinge last update... something to the effect of:

To the whining little bitches that are under the deluded impression that my life revolves around doing updates and keeping you entertained, you may suck my pole! This website is provided all for free - you don't have to pay a fuckin cent for all the hours you spend in front of your computer and yet people still manage to complain. It's pathetic.

Below is just a sample of the tonnes of emails you guys sent in following it. Many thanks for taking the time to drop me a line and many thanks for the ego boost! On with the email...

Didge wrote:
Subject: RE: Poor form email
Mate, I reckon your site rocks. Its probably the best site offering a wide variety of interesting stuff guys are into, including the chicks. Remember this is how Hugh Hefner got started. Interesting topic matter supported by beautiful chicks. These dickheads complaining about the lack of updates have obviously got one hand on their dick and the other up their arse. They haven’t got a clue how much work is involved. They’re the sort of blokes that roll up at your barbie, bring light beer & sausages, drink your super and eat your steak and then piss off without offering to help clean up. In short “soft cocks – no good to no cunt”

Keep up the good work, its great to see a world class Aussie site - you should be sainted – "Saint Orsm"- sorta just rolls of the tongue, eh?

Jings wrote:
Subject: Reader Comments
Orsm, The only thing I can say to those people who complain about you not getting your column out hurriedly each month or bi-weekly, is to call them "Turkeys"! Ya know, the people you'd like to stick a big fork and knife into. I for one and other readers realize that you put out a varied and excellent column, and it takes time. I would rather see you do it every month and do a good job of what we want to see, rather than a hurried job with crap (sic) in it that we just cruise over. Keep up the excellent work, Bravo-Zulu to you. My 2¢ worth.

XxBWingxX wrote:
Subject: Impatient Assholes
Please post this: To everyone that bitched and complained about no update Get A Life! Don't act so surprised that orsm has a life outside this website, if are so bored go get a playboy or something!!!!!!!!!!!

DJ Hamsterstyle wrote:
Subject: Wud up
Whats up.... I read some of those e-mails that you posted on your site. Tell those leaching bastards to shut up. What do they expect for free? Don't they know you might have a life? I love your site and I will be back everytime you do an update. Take your time. Your real fans aren't going anywhere.

I am a club DJ in Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA and I have a sticker board with www.orsm.net on it. Like I said, I love this damn site.

djd wrote:
Subject: you are a true genius
hey dude, dont let this go too far to your head, but, you truly are and have a fucking great site. and, as for those assholes who complain... fuck them and the horse they rode in on. keep it up...and i dont just mean the johnson. later.

Crash wrote:
Subject: Many thanks!
Dear Mr. Orsm, I just thought that I’d take the opportunity to counter all of the dopey bastards who are giving you grief for not updating more frequently. I’d love to tell them to GET A DAMNED LIFE ALREADY! If they are unsatisfied, then you will gladly refund them their money. Oh, wait… that’s right, your site is FREE!

Screw the whole ungrateful lot of ‘em, I say. Haven’t they seen what you had to deal with for all those weeks in late ’03? Don’t they realize how much income you lost over that period? The fact that you take the time to keep us all entertained (and marvelously so, I might add...) is terrific. Oh, I know, you make advertising money from “hits” and so forth, but still, this is obviously your hobby.

I’m not on your forums much, though Scooby, Lex, A.A. and Little Star know me a bit from Bakermedia.com (that’s how Akasha got to know Orsm.net also), but I count your site as one of my very favorites, and I do enjoy the forum – great new format, btw.

Just thought you’d like to hear some positive comments for once. Hope your 2004 is better than 2003!

B wrote:
Subject: introduction
I haven't even read past the first 2 paragraphs for this latest update and I had to stop and send you a thank you. Thank you for not being a candy ass , and telling the world the truth. This is your site. People forget that. You will update when you get good and damn ready. But I will also say thanks for updating. You have the premier site on the web and I thank you for it

Michael Stadler wrote:
Subject: Update whiners
Mr. Orsm, On behalf of those of us who realize (or realise, as you spell it) that you have a life above and beyond your (most excellent) website, invite the whiners who complain that you're not updating in what they believe to be a timely manner to please go fornicate themselves with an iron stick (preferably one fresh from the forge).

Todd Brock wrote:
Subject: Your site
Hey, ORSM, hows it shakin'? just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that your site rocks!!! Dont worry about all those assholes that bitch about how long it takes to get an update. No one seems to be happy in this world anymore unless they have something to complain about. They apparently have way too much fuckin time on their hands. I am happy with what I get, FOR FREE BY THE WAY. One suggestion, what happened to all the beautiful shots of the women showing more bush? You have all your pictures cut off right before the promised land, and we cant see the juicy shit anymore. Did you get in trouble or something? Well, whatever, I am not going anywhere. Love your site man.

RiverRunner wrote:
Subject: Update Whiners
To all the "update whiners," where's YOUR fuckin' web site? WHEN you have a site that you update daily, you can complain. You don't have a web site? SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Dave wrote:
Subject: Update 01/15/04
Hey Mr. Orsm, who gives a rats rosey red arse about when you do an update? I would have waited another week if need be. I enjoy your site and can"t imagine how you find all the time to keep it up and running. Apparently there are a few readers that haven"t a clue how much work it is to maintain a web site with as much stuff on it as you have. Keep up the good work, hope you have a better year this one.

Chris wrote:
Subject: my homage to you
Dear Mr.Orsm, your site is more than just a porno haven for young dateless losers like myself, but its also the best thing that ever happened to me. free porn is the best thing ever, and the fact that you are giving up so much of your time, energy and money to provide people with quality american porn is the greatest thing and you are the best person ever! i hope that bastard who hacked you gets raped with a 75 year old lady with a brillo pad dildo. you are the best. Thank You for the good times, Chris

dellboy wrote:
Subject: [no subject]
Dear Orsm, Don't get pissed off with those wankers who keep on bothering you for updates! I myself get itchy bollocks if your site hasn't been updated for some time but who cares? When you do it, it's fucking brillo, so I tell 'em pillocks: Shut the fuck up and be pleased that we readers are lucky enough to get updates at all!!!! They're all a bunch of loosers.

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