Who's the more foolish: The fool or the fool who doesn't surf this site!? Welcome to Orsmnet...

Jesus is it that time already? Could have sworn I only just finished the last update only yesterday or maybe even the day before but I'll be damned if I can figure out where this last week has disappeared to.

And what an exciting yet uneventful week it's been! I took some time last update to dribble on about the approaching weekend which was to involve numerous hours trying to fix my old mans laptop plus birthday duties to celebrate my mums 50th.

First the birthday thing... it ended up being dinner on both Saturday and Sunday nights and a breakfast on Sunday morning which I didn't attend and most likely attributable to the previous evening's meal. No biggie - I just thought it a smarter move to stay close to a toilet I know and love rather than be forced into using some disease infested restaurant facility.

As for Mum's present - my sister, my brother and I are all chipping in to send her away on a holiday for a week or two which she seemed rather chuffed about so I'd say we nailed that one. All up it was good to do some family stuff for a change and spend a few hours sitting around at mums - something which I haven't really done since I moved out of home.

The laptop was an entirely different saga altogether and a good lesson in why you should always back up your data. After more than a few attempts to recover his files I gave up, installed the new hard drive and set up Windows plus all the other junk. The only saving grace is that I was smart enough [if I do say so!] to make a couple of backups of his stuff in October but it hasn't done much to stem the emails all week long informing me just how much work he's lost from the last four months. How come people only ever worry about making backups once the inevitable has happened? I should be careful what I say because my burner is out of action at the moment and karma is a bitch...

Anyway, this weekend I am particularly looking forward to. Friday is already lined up for drinks at the pub with all the guy's although I may do the smart thing and opt out of that one to make sure I'm charged and ready for Saturday. One of my mates that I grew up with has succumbed to stupidity and will be taking the long walk down the aisle in a couple of weeks which means we get to do the bucks night thing this weekend. When I initially heard what was happening I immediately went into verbal bashing mode but after thinking about it realised it isn't such a bad idea.

What are we doing you may ask? Lawn Bowls! And yes, by that I mean the game that you see grey-haired geriatrics playing whilst whittling away their twilight years/waiting for death. Apparently there is a technique to it all - you don't just hurl the little black balls at the little white ball as hard as you can. Either way I'm sure that once we mix the activities with beer it will end up being a bloody good time. After that it's back to my place for a clothes change and then off to the city to finish off the job of getting drunk beyond belief... oh and to celebrate a mate's birthday of course [happy 29th Pauly!].

Sunday, if all goes to plan, I'll wake up with a disgusting hangover and try dragging myself out of bed in time to take the dog to the beach for a couple of hours. Whoever woulda thunk it but Sunday lunch [ANOTHER barbeque] has been booked for ANOTHER birthday celebration. This time for my brother's 25th. I can safely say this shit is out of control - can someone please explain to me to why there seems to be so many birthdays around this time of the year? I don't get it... maybe its just one of those freak occurrence things...

The madness continues through Sunday night too. We're back into the city for a good friends book launch and as this is the first launching of a book that I have ever been invited to I'm quite looking forward to it. So far it's all panning out to be a fairly good summer so far. I've done so much socialising I feel like I am ready for a complete new set of friends. Anyone?

If you've been reading my site for a while now you would notice that each week I plug Newbie Nudes. This just isn't because they are paying me to do so... it's because Newbie Nudes is easily the best site of its kind on the net today. Hundreds of thousands of pics which are added to daily, tonnes of vids and the ability to interact with thousands of people that love to get their gear off and show what they've got... did I mention it's all free too? Check it now!

Let's face it. As much as we love surfing endless TGP's, it sucks just seeing samples. Always tasting, but rarely satisfied. A 30 sec. video and a few teaser pics isn't enough! We need FULL ACCESS! 125PRO is here to help those seeking Free, Full Satisfaction. We're the largest database of FREE Full Access Membership sites on the web. We've reviewed 100's of Free Trial and No Credit Card memberships available. Every niche and fetish is covered.

Perfectly formed, supple, young breasts heaving slightly trembling with anticipation as the teen porn princess unfolds those long, lean legs to reveal that sweet, moist muff, she's hidden for so long. She's begging to have your rigid shaft come and explore the deepest of her unexplored regions; let it slide inside her uncharted wet depths and you'll soon discover she's all woman.

I can think of two reasons why you haven't checked out Revenge TV yet. First up it's because you are new to the net and haven't heard about what will long be remembered as one of the greatest sites to ever be surfed. Secondly, because you are a spastic. This is truly the ultimate revenge site - thousands of vids and pics of ex's that managed to leave a jilted lover in their wake. How does that jilted lover get his own back? Revenge TV is how! Click here to see what I mean...

Sexy Dancing Blonde - Retarded Beats - To Mock Is To Love - Sexy Stripping Teen - Drunk Slut Flashing

Babes Kissing - Beach Sex - Hottest Sluts Ever - Drunk Lesbians Going Wild

The teacher says, "Let's discuss what your fathers do for a living." Mary says, "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts bad guys in jail." Jack says, "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all sick people better." The teacher says, to Dirty Johnny, "John, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says, "My Dad is dead." She says, "I'm sorry to hear that. But what did he do before he died?" Johnny says, "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
--
A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Melbourne. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a devon sandwich!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."

LESBIAN ENCOUNTER Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time - Bath Time

Three men are on a road trip when they pull over to stay at a hotel that they see. They go in and see the lady, who apparently runs the joint and they ask her for a vacant room. She replied, "Sure, but only if you DON'T go into the basement!". The men agree and she gives them a room.

That night, the men are so curious that they sneak into the basement only to find that it's full of chopped off dicks!! The woman that runs the places sees them and says, "Okay, now I'm going to have to add you all to my collection."

She asks the first man, "What does YOUR father do for a living?" and he says "Well, my dad is in the lawn mowing business." So the woman finds a lawn mover and off goes his dick.

The woman asks the second man, "What does YOUR father do for a living?" and he replies in tears "My dad is in the tool supply industry." So she finds a saw and off goes his dick.

The woman then turns to the third guy only to see that he is laughing hysterically! "Why the hell are you laughing?!? Don't you know what's going to happen to you!?!" He smiles and says, "Yeah, my dad is in the lollipop business - you're gonna hafta suck mine off!"

ORSM VIDEO The internet is a vast and wonderful thing and as such never ceases to fail me when it comes to videos of people sticking things inside themselves. To back up my point I have a wonderful video that demonstrates it perfectly. Check it... - Fresh Sushi -

I'VE BEEN PLUGGING ALL SITE ACCESS FOR SO LONG NOW I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT TIME TO BUY A MEMBERSHIP AND CHECK IT OUT FOR MYSELF! WHY THE HELL DID I WAIT SO LONG? THIS IS AWESOME! CLICK HERE & CHECK IT OUT!

A beautiful, well endowed, young lady went to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looked about the store, she noticed a box full of frogs. The sign said: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions." The girl excitedly looked around to see if anybody was watching her and whispered softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nodded, grabbed the box, and quickly went home.

As soon as she closed the door to her apartment, she read the instructions thoroughly and carefully. Then she followed the instructions to the letter:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice-smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog in the bed.

She quickly got into bed with the frog. To her surprise, nothing happened. The girl was totally frustrated and quite upset. She reread the instructions and noticed that, at the bottom of the page, there was a note. It said, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the lady called the pet store. The man said, "I had some other complaints earlier today. I'll be right over."

Within five minutes, the man was ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomed him and said, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn frog just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picked up the frog, stared directly into its eyes, and sternly said, "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

TASTY FUKN TEEN Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge - Gauge

I keep getting emails from you guy's asking me what the catch is with MyFreePaySite.com and I'm here to set the record straight - THERE IS NO CATCH AND ITS ALL FREEEEEE!!! You won't end up with a massive credit card or phone bill or tonnes of junk mail or anything else you don't want. All you need to do is signup with an email address - it's that easy! They'll even let you sign up with a Hotmail or Gmail account.

So what's stopping you? You'll get access to all the celebrity sex tapes, thousands of free pics, live cam girls and more streaming video than you could ever possibly download and like I said - ALL FREE so stop reading this and click here to check it out now!!

READER MAIL
As you can plainly see – fucking bundles of reader mail again this weak. Love it. If you want to have your say, send me something cool or just wish to abuse me for doing horrible things to your little sister then drop me a line here.

Clayton wrote: Subject: Only in Cornwall Hey orsm, love the site, I've been a regular for a few years now. I got these pictures in my email the other day and I figured I'd send 'em on to you. I don't know who did this, but they're in the town I'm from up here in Canada. Keep up the good work. Peace!

Jeremy wrote: Subject: Mr. Orsm I love you! Mr. Orsm, I beg of you. Please post this prycless pic. For the love of god I am begging you. If you post it I'll make a donation to your site. This would mean the world to me and the entire Ottawa Community. Thanks. Oh Please don't post my email address if you do post the pic. Thanks.

<with held> wrote: Subject: Love your site, Hope you use it Some one sent me this pic. It is the smallest dick I have every seen. I feel real sorry for this guy and his lover. I hope she samples it before she get married. Hope you can use it. I love your site by the way. Please withhold my email.

Waterboy wrote: Subject: MMS @ Random Hey Orsm, so I have an MMS capable phone now, not the type of guy to randomly dial numbers and flash the goods. But I am the type , apparently , to receive them . Hoping to find out who the heck this is of, maybe a little exposure could help.

Ross MacPherson wrote: Subject: MMM Messy .50cal shot... well deserved though! Don't fuck with me boy! hehehehe First picture is the gun, the second is the results of the gun! A backwoods hunter from the Alabama NG spotted this guy, complete with suicide bomber vest, inside a compound in the Green Zone in Iraq. He used a well placed 50 cal sniper round to stop him. I would say that he was quite effective!!!!!

shane wrote: Subject: Random shite??? Hi Orsm, Long time fan and devotee (about 3-4 years now or there abouts). On the way back from ourBobsleigh World Cup race in Winterberg at the end of November this year (2004) in the middle of Germany, we followed this truck. At first we thought, oh great, another truck in the way, then we saw the haulage company name... Then at our next venue at Koenigssee, the Olympic Luge champion has a tribute in the Bob café at the bottom of the track. His words are real. Hope to be able to see these on your site...

HardcoreStraightEdge wrote: Subject: I think might be interested in this shit.... Hey Mr. Orsm, I just thought you'd be interested in something like this. We've had some crazy ass weather here in Peoria, Arizona (in Phoenix) lately, a lot of rain which is quite uncommon living in the desert and all. But yesterday, a funnel cloud decided to make it's way across town giving us some pretty heavy hail and winds. The cloud never touched down but we were on a tornado warning for about two hours. I'll let you know, this kind of shit is extremely rare for Arizona. This is the kind of stuff that happens in Kansas and shit. Anyways, I thought you might be interested in these pictures I took. The hail looks like snow. And it never snows in Phoenix. Check out the pictures of the funnel cloud. The orange cloud are the reflection of the sunset off of the storm. It was awesome. Enjoy.

Trevor wrote: Subject: Kung Fu Hey Orsm, Here's a little vid that I made with my mates when we were in China in January. Kind of adds a bit of western geek influence to the whole Kung Fu genre. Check it out if you dare but please don't link this download directly as I can't afford the bandwidth! If you do post it, and people want to contact me, I can be found on www.xaura.com.

Andy Flajnik wrote: Subject: pics hope you enjoy, since there is no NHL hockey, us Canadians must search out other realms of entertainment to pass the time.

bigslim wrote: Subject: Welsh rappers? I know mate, the worlds gotta hear this. Regular to the site mate, I thought I'd seen and heard it all but... YOU MUST INCLUDE THIS! (say it ten times and look into my eyes) when Goldie Lookin Chain released this song I laughed so hard my ???????? I just laughed OK! ps I'm fae(from) Bonnie Scotland could you include that please.

Cyph wrote: Subject: Indian Comedian Hey there Orsm, I thought you and your loyal following would enjoy this video, its an Indian comedian joking about Italians (I'm sure all the Italians would agree its all true), funny stuff!

A bloke goes into the employment office in Melbourne for a look through the job vacancies, which doesn't take him very long, of course. Then, just as he's about to give up and go away, he spots something.

"Wanted", it says. "Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors. $1,500 a week guaranteed, plus company car and all expenses." Well, it sounds a bit too good to be true, so the bloke makes a note of the reference number and fronts up at the counter.

"I'd like to apply for this job", he says, "reference number E/784/B46-OP1737AZR2D2." Oh, that one," says the clerk. "It's a model agency right here in Melbourne. They're looking for a pubic hair snipper. You see, they supply girls who model underwear and bathers, and before they go on the catwalk they report to you and you have to snip off any wisps of pubic hair that are showing. It pays well, but there are a few drawbacks. It involves quite a lot of travel. The Bahamas, Tahiti, Paris, London, that sort of thing, and you have to get used to living in first-class hotels..."

"I reckon I could learn to live with it," says the bloke. "I'd really like to apply for the job." The clerk shrugs and says, "OK, here's an application form and a rail ticket to Ballarat". "Ballarat?" exclaims the bloke. "Balla-bloody-rat? What do I wanna go to Ballarat for?" "Well", says the clerk, "that's where the end of the queue is at the moment."

FOR THAT LITTLE SOMETHING DIFFERENT CompuFashion - CompuFashion - CompuFashion - CompuFashion - CompuFashion CompuFashion - CompuFashion - CompuFashion - CompuFashion

Two Power football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed the club would put them on an academic probation and they would not be allowed to go on the end of season trip. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read: "Old MacDonald had a..." Poor Jason was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the assistant coach wasn't looking, he tapped Jonathon on the shoulder.

"Psst, Jonathan. What's the answer to the last question?". Jonathon giggled and, looking around to make sure the coach wasn't looking, turned to Jason: "Jason, you're so dumb. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh year," said Jason, "I remember now." He picked up his pencil and started to write the answer in the blank, then stopped. Reaching to tap Jonathon's shoulder again, he whispered, "Jonathon, how do you spell farm?" "You really are dumb, Jason. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

ORSM VIDEO

Life In The Fastlane

Thats What You Get

Awesome FlyBy

Cum Snort [Gross]

THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN ONLINE EVER - ALL SITE ACCESS!!

A Kiwi, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red, with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Kiwi.

Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it, but the dog got jealous and began growling fiercely until the Kiwi took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor, was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Kiwi had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, but they slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening; red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze--perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear... "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

RANDOM SHITE Sometimes people ask me, "Hey Orsm, why do ya do it man? Why? Just some RS junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a god damn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why I do it. They won't understand that it's about the next pic and that's it. That's all it is... RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS - RS

An aeroplane was taking off from Melbourne Airport for King Island. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the Captain made an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 3 for King Island. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY God!"

The passengers snapped to focused attention with a hint of terror on their faces. Silence followed.

After a few moments the Captain came back on the intercom and said "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier but, while I was talking to you, the flight attendant bought me a cup of coffee and accidentally spilled the hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A stock agent on a buying trip said to his travelling companion: "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics - Cool Pics

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Barbara," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. "What's this?" she asked. "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1!!"

Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella - Isabella

I've no idea how I managed to get this update up and amazingly ahead of time at that. I had a million interruptions to deal with this week and even as 6pm rolled past I was nowhere near having it resemble anything like what you've just wasted your precious time reading through. Funny how it works... on the weeks when I'm ahead of schedule I always end up running overtime.

And now for some shameless self promotion... if you'd like to show me your love and gratitude for thousands of hours I pour into Orsmnet bringing you something new and exciting every week then swing by my wish list and buy me shit!

Anyway that’s about all from me. Until next time, be good, stay off the chem's and for the love of god don't you think it's time you took your annual bath!? Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

Welcome to Orsmnet. The wasting time capital of the internet.

I never thought it would happen but it did and I FINALLY have my servers back from the fuckhead I used to be hosted with. How long did it take? Over three and a half months! How long should it have taken? 24-48 hours at a stretch.

You'd understand if I was a touch annoyed at how it all panned out despite the fact it was entirely expected. We'd lost countless hours over the time we were hosted with him just waiting for shit to be done. I don't think he ever understood the concept of providing a service after being paid for it.

One may expect me to be bitter, resentful or perhaps wanting revenge but that's not my style. After my sub-standard experience with AffordableColo.com, DTI Network and Charles Baker all I can do is suggest that anyone in the need of web hosting go elsewhere. And unless you want to be treated like you aren't worth talking to, I would suggest not wasting your time calling Charles on 316-208-5832 or 316-773-5275.

Anyway on to what's been going on lately... which is pretty much nothing. I tried and succeeded at having a quiet weekend. Saturday was the usual home open crap followed by more house hunting crap. After that I headed home to be productive and catch up on some niggling chores around the house. Of course none of them actually got done because it was easier to put my feet up and watch a DVD.

Sunday I rustled a few friends up and we went into the city for a Dim Sum lunch. Bad idea. With Chinese New Year happening at the time it took forever for the trolley ladies to get around and when they eventually did most of the shit was cold. Thankfully the steam pork buns were fresh otherwise there may have been trouble.

The rest of the day I was stuck fixing my old man's lap top once again. The problem was that he couldn't connect to the internet through dial up for which I accepted full responsibility because I didn't create a short cut on his desktop for it... silly me. What completely shat me off though was when I decided I should do a full system virus scan [a full scan hadn't been done since I set it up a few months ago]. Half way through the scan - BAM! Blue screen of death! It took a couple more hours of fiddling until it would boot again so I packed it up and took it back to him, hoping that was the last I would hear about it.

Tuesday morning I get a call saying it was blue screening again and refused to load. I tell him to take it to the service people and get them to have a look. Get another call today confirming what I thought had happened - hard drive failure. Fucking great. Guess what I'll be doing this weekend?

Come to think of it, it's going to be a busy one. Saturday will be the usual get out of here for a couple of hours whilst retards traipse though my house but Saturday night we're going out to dinner to celebrate my mum's 50th birthday. Sunday morning is the same again except obviously it'll be breakfast with cousins and other extended family.

Mum hitting 50 is actually kind of scary. I still quite clearly remember how my parents were 20 years ago... young. I guess until now I've never really thought about them getting old. Okay its not as if they're in wheel chairs or near death or any shit like that but 50 is a big achievement. Hopefully she has a good weekend because the next big celebration is traditionally at 60 so if it sucks she'll have to wait 10 years until anyone makes a fuss over her again...

If you've been reading my site for any period of time you would notice that each week I plug Newbie Nudes. This just isn't because they are paying me to do so... it's because Newbie Nudes is easily the best site of its kind on the net today. Hundreds of thousands of pics which are added to daily, tonnes of vids and the ability to interact with thousands of people that love to get their gear off and show what they've got... did I mention it's all free too? Check it now!

Let's face it. As much as we love surfing endless TGP's, it sucks just seeing samples. Always tasting, but rarely satisfied. A 30 sec. video and a few teaser pics isn't enough! We need FULL ACCESS! 125PRO is here to help those seeking Free, Full Satisfaction. We're the largest database of FREE Full Access Membership sites on the web. We've reviewed 100's of Free Trial and No Credit Card memberships available. Every niche and fetish is covered.

Doctors deal with a lot of crap, but they also get to feel up a lot of women. Take for example the breast exam. Or in the case of this reality site, the boob exam scam.

I can think of two reasons why you haven't checked out Revenge TV yet. First up it's because you are new to the net and haven't heard about what will long be remembered as one of the greatest sites to ever be surfed. Secondly, because you are a spastic. This is truly the ultimate revenge site - thousands of vids and pics of ex's that managed to leave a jilted lover in their wake. How does that jilted lover get his own back? Revenge TV is how! Click here to see what I mean...

Valentines WTF? - Hilarious Call In - Test Yourself - Bum Lovin' - Melon Art - Jessican simpsons ASS

Lohan In A Bikini - Porn TV Blooper - Buff Bitch - Fear Factor Nudes - Sexy Cheer Slut

Bloke walks into a fancy dress party, completely naked with a naked woman on his back. His mate says, "What have you come as?". "I'm a tortoise", says the guy. "Well why have you got a naked woman on ya back?" says his mate. "That's not a woman - its Michelle" says the bloke.
--
President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honour! . What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning WW III." And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits." The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?" Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".

Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison - Kelly & Allison

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"

He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it." "Where shall I put it to get it warm?" He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there. "But what about the smell?" "Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

MAGICAL MOMENTS Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha - Samantha

A travelling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realising he needed a hair trim before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Sceptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted 50 cents, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures, 25 Cents." Why not? thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - 50 Cents." The salesman looked all around, and put 50 cents into the machine, unzipped his fly and, with some anticipation, stuck his penis into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy shrieked in agony. Fifteen seconds, later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his penis... with a button sewn on the end.

ORSM VIDEO This guy is a complete nut job and I have no doubt that to get himself where he is has taken years of compiling overbearing personally defects, frequent drug consumption, a penchant for unprescribed medication and abusive relationship with alcohol... pretty damn funny though! Check it... - Loose Weatherman -

I'VE BEEN PLUGGING ALL SITE ACCESS FOR SO LONG NOW I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT TIME TO BUY A MEMBERSHIP AND CHECK IT OUT FOR MYSELF! WHY THE HELL DID I WAIT SO LONG? THIS IS AWESOME! CLICK HERE & CHECK IT OUT!

Two men are driving through Rockhampton when they get pulled over by the boys in blue. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. "What the hell was that for?" the driver asks. "You're in Queensland mate" the copper answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." "I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm from Victoria". The copper runs a check on the guy's license - he's clean - and gives the guy his license back.

The copper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the copper smacks him on the head with the nightstick. "What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks. "Just making your wish come true," replies the copper. "Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks. "Because I know," the copper says," that two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your mate and say, "I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"

KILLER BOD Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu - Jade Hsu

I keep getting emails from you guy's asking me what the catch is with MyFreePaySite.com and I'm here to set the record straight - THERE IS NO CATCH AND ITS ALL FREEEEEE!!! You won't end up with a massive credit card or phone bill or tonnes of junk mail or anything else you don't want. All you need to do is signup with an email address - it's that easy! They'll even let you sign up with a Hotmail or Gmail account.

So what's stopping you? You'll get access to all the celebrity sex tapes, thousands of free pics, live cam girls and more streaming video than you could ever possibly download and like I said - ALL FREE so stop reading this and click here to check it out now!!

READER MAIL
Not posting any Reader Mail all throughout January was obviously a big mistake. I was planning on just posting what had come my way this month but the influx lately has almost rivalled what I saw around the US election. Anyway, I've brought back the Overflow to cover it... there were so many quality contributions it wouldn't be fair if they never made the site so click here to find them. As for all the rest of you - if you wanna send something my way then you may do so here.

Leslie wrote: Subject: fan signs for you Here's a few "fan signs" =) This makes my day! Show Leslie some love and check out her site! -Orsm

Robert wrote: Subject: Highlight from My Karate Kid Hey its Dancer Face/Thirsty Pads/VD BOY guy. This is a highlight from a stage show I did. If you don't love this your lying. And don't worry she's fine. Well worth checking out is Rob's site @ hoffmaniii.com.

Andrew Robertson wrote: Subject: Creation Created this the other day. Didn't feel a thing. Jesus Christ! I don't know if you should be ashamed or proud of that effort! -Orsm

Dave C wrote: Subject: good pic Greetings Mr. Orsm, Love the site, long time surfer. I just got back from a quick trip from Thailand. The islands are filled with scenery, and I'm not talking landscapes. I snapped the first pic of beauty while lying on the beach on Ko Phangan. The second one while walking on the beach of Ko Samui. Thought you might enjoy.

Reed wrote: Subject: Stupid pic I was driving around, and low and behold i came across this sign. Proving that McDonalds does hire intelligent people... haha. Hopefully you will post this pic. By the way it comes from Edgewood, MD 21040.

Lakis wrote: Subject: ..greetings.. greetings from Italy! This is probably my least favourite way to be greeted. Would have been just as happy with a handshake! -Orsm

Daniel wrote: Subject: Summernatz Kid Heya its danz got to start off by saying fucken ORSM site luv it look forward to updates and they never disapoint :P g0 s1ck... Got a pic from summernatz of a kid with his father and reminded me of orsm.net as soon as i saw it and always wanted to add my bit to orsm hopefully this is a start...

Mike wrote: Subject: USS San Fransisco A guy got killed when he flew more than 20ft into a wall on this thing. Gotta watch those sea mounts. Hope that you enjoy these pics. Always love yours!

Dave Laird wrote: Subject: 4x4 down a steep hill Hey orsm dude. Love your site. Finally have something to contribute -- hope you don't have it already. Check out the pictures first, then watch the video. You gotta know it could happen. Whudya reckon -- the driver's got skid marks? Yikes! Cheers...

Mike wrote: Subject: girlfriend video My g/f broke up with me for another guy... and i made the "hate my g/f video of her naked". Check it out... hope you post it. Brilliant! -Orsm

<with held> wrote: Subject: Good Shit Hey Man, Love your site, have been visiting for years and finally have something I think is worth sending in. Me n my flatmate have been playing around with Movie Maker over the Christmas break and this was one of the things we came up with using my digital camera. The story behind the bit at the end was that Dominos has only been open here for a month or so, and have had a little bit of trouble getting our orders right, i.e. someone else gets our pizzas, our pizzas get delivered to home even though we're waiting in the shop for them, stuff like that, and on that day they got it right.

Sam wrote: Subject: Vid of a firend of mine Hi Mr. Orsm. I'll keep it quick and simple. Ok first your site is the greatest and you know it, sick bastard ! That was a friendly "sick bastard" by the way. So a friend of mine recently beated up a cunt who owned him money for a long long time now. The cool thing is that my friend had a camera at the time. Anyway,today he sended me his video and as I was pretty hang-over,so, I decided to do a little montage of the fight just for fun. So i thought "where do you send that type of shit?". One thing led to another... here's that vid, if, of course, you find it cool. (My buddy is the guy with the red sweather and he did some boxing lesson before.)

Palmer wrote: Subject: car accident phone call Orsm- Great site. I thought this story would be a good addition to your site. Enjoy. The set up: "The funniest story he had was when an operations manager was late for a meeting and called his boss to tell him he was running late. As he was leaving the voice mail message, he witnessed an accident and went on to provide 'play by play' of the incident. After telling them the story, he promised to send them a copy of the voice mail and here it is. This is the actual voice mail message. It was passed along and forwarded so many times within Jack in the Box, it crashed their voice mail server."

Courtney wrote: Subject: funny video Hey. I love your site! Ok with that said b/c I am sure you get that alot I was wanting to send you this little video I got from a friend. It is a sort of homemade porno (kinda of crappy but funny none the less). My friend sent it to me since it has him doing some girls that went to our highschool. I found it very entertaining so maybe other people will too! Plus the guys penis is kinda funny looking - way too pink! Heh .. what can you do! Ok well hope you enjoy and perhaps find a spot for it on your site!

Robert Hoffman wrote: Subject: Drag Strip Fun ORSM, Great site. Since you're a car guy maybe you'll want to post this on your site. HUGE! -Orsm