|HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE
A LIGHT BULB?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day
is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and you're inside
worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace
any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky
toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change
the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze,
please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've
led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed
any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one
has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while
I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry,
but I don't see a light bulb?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee
on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is,
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the
light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle: "I'll just blow in the Border Collie's
ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house,
my nails will be dry."
The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light
bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How
long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT
WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
What is a Cat? Cats do what they want. They rarely
listen to you. They're totally unpredictable. When you want to play,
they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
They expect you to cater to their every whim. They're moody. They
leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats!
What is a Dog? Dogs spend all day sprawled on
the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear
a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you
when you're in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable all
at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want
to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want
to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things
with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. They go right
for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats!