1. A little girl was talking to her teacher
about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a
whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal
its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed
by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little
girl replied, "Then you ask him."
2. A Kindergarten teacher was
observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally
walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl
who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was? The
girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and
said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking
up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the
Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining
the commandment to "honour thy Father and thy Mother,"
she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4. An honest seven-year-old admitted
calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
It wasn't easy," admitted the
young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
5. A three-year-old went with his dad to see
a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed
his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,"
he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
6. The children had all been photographed,
and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of
the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look
at it when you are all grownup and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's
a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room
rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
7. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now,
class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run
into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes,"
the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright
in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow
shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."