FROM: HUMAN RESOURCES
It has been brought to management's attention
that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul
language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do however, realise the critical importance
of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating
with co-workers, therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new
phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information
can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our
more sensitive employees.
SO TRY SAYING Perhaps I can work
INSTEAD OF When the fuck do you expect me to
TRY SAYING I'm certain that is not
INSTEAD OF No fucking way!!
TRY SAYING Really?
INSTEAD OF You've got to be shitting me.
TRY SAYING Perhaps you should check
INSTEAD OF Tell someone who gives a shit.
TRY SAYING Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF Ask me if I give a shit.
TRY SAYING I wasn't involved in
INSTEAD OF It's not my fucking problem.
TRY SAYING That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF What the fuck?!?!
TRY SAYING I'm not sure I can implement
INSTEAD OF Fuck it, it won't work.
TRY SAYING I'll try to schedule
INSTEAD OF Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING Are you sure this is
INSTEAD OF Who the fuck cares?
TRY SAYING He's not
familiar with the problem.
INSTEAD OF He's got his head up his ass.
TRY SAYING Excuse me
INSTEAD OF Eat shit and die.
TRY SAYING So you weren't
happy with it?
INSTEAD OF Kiss my ass.
TRY SAYING I'm a bit
overloaded at this moment.
INSTEAD OF Fuck it, I'm on salary.
TRY SAYING I don't
think you understand.
INSTEAD OF Shove it up your ass.
TRY SAYING I love a
INSTEAD OF This job sucks.
TRY SAYING You want
me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING I see.
INSTEAD OF Blow me.
TRY SAYING Yes, we
really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF Another fucking meeting!!!
TRY SAYING I don't
think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF I really don't give a shit.
TRY SAYING He's somewhat
INSTEAD OF He's a fucking prick.
TRY SAYING She's an
aggressive go getter.
INSTEAD OF She's a ball busting bitch.
TRY SAYING I think
you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF You don't know what the fuck you're doing.