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Things To Keep You Amused At K-Mart...

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' trolleys when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to a store employee and tell him/her in an official tone; "I think we have a Code 3 in Home ware".

5. Put M & M's on lay by.

6. Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to the carpeted areas.

7. Set up a tent in the Sporting Section; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When someone asks if they can help you, start crying and ask; "Why won't people leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror to pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the Sporting Section, ask the salesperson if the gun is sold with a prescription for anti-depressants.

11. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".

12. In the Auto Dept practice your Madonna look by using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, jump out and yell; "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the P.A. system, assume the foetal position and scream; "Not the voices again!"

15. Go into the Fitting Room and call out loudly; "Hey, there's no toilet paper in here."


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