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C'mon Aussie...

YOU'RE NOT AUSTRALIAN UNTIL YOU'VE...

1. You've caught a blowfly buzzing around your head with your bare hands.

2. You've mimicked Alf Stewart from 'Home and Away' - "Push off, ya flamin' drongo".

3. You have argued whether Fords are better than Holden's.

4. You've done the Hot Sand run from the beach to your towel.

5. You know who Ray Martin is.

6. You call your home "My Joint".

7. You start using words like 'Bloody, grouse and champ'.

8. You stop greeting people with 'Hello' and go straight into 'how're you doin'?

9. You've seriously considered running down to the shops in a pair of ugh boots.

10. You own ugh boots.

11. You've been to a one day cricket match and screamed incomprehensibly until your throat went raw.

12. You've had to decide between putting up with mosquitoes and moving the BBQ inside.

13. You've changed your ring tone on your mobile phone to something much more annoying than the one it came with.

14. You kind of know the first verse of the national anthem, but buggered if you know what 'girt' means.

15. You have a story that some how revolves around excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named 'Dave'.

16. You're secretly annoyed with Russell Crowe.

17. You own a Bonds t-shirt and wear it with pride.

18. You've attended a music festival on the hottest day of the year.

19. You've tried to hang off a Hills Hoist while pretending you could fly.

20. You've had to visit the emergency room after hanging off Hills Hoist and pretending you could fly.

21. You own pair of thongs for every day use, and another pair of dress thongs for special occasions.

22. You don't know what's in a meat pie and you don't care.

23. You pronounce Australia: 'Strayl-ya'.

24. You call soccer 'soccer', not football.

25. You know a dog named Bluey.

26. You've squeezed Vegemite between Vita Wheat to make Vegemite worms.

27. You suck coffee though a Tim Tam.

28. You've become deeply cynical of politicians.

29. You realise that lifeguards are the only ones who can wear Speedo's and look good.

30. Done the Sunday session.

31. You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite.

32. In your CD collection you have at least one: Kylie Minogue, Cold Chisel or Paul Kelly.

33. You understand the value of Public Holidays.

34. You think that the Crocodile Hunter is just stupid.

35. You believe that the flavour of any meal is improved by adding tomato sauce.

36. You have been invited to a B&S Ball.

37. Your weekends are spent barracking for your favourite sports team.

38. You have a toilet dolly.

39. You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and a bat fashioned out of a fence post.

40. You still go on about how great the Sydney Olympics were.

41. You firmly believe that in the end, everything will be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that 'She'll be right, mate'.

42. You use the phrase 'no worries' at least once a day.

43. You've been on a beach holiday and probably stayed in a caravan.

44. You constantly shorten words. For example, breakfast becomes 'brekkie' and afternoon becomes 'arvo', barbeque becomes 'barbie'.

45. You order a $5 steak the size of your head at your local RSL.

46. You've adopted a local bar as one of your own.

47. You know all the words to 'Holy Grail' and sing it at the top of your lungs.

48. Wondered why Bert Newton is still pretty cool for an old guy.

49. You can't understand why John Farnham never became an international success.

50. You know that the oath of mateship can never be limited by geographical distance.


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