DICTIONARY OF OBSCURE
There's some pretty messed up things
in the below list and I can say with certainty that any chick
that would be game to let me try half of them isn't the kind of
girl I'd like to take home to meet the parents...
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack
the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets
up she'll look like an angry dragon.
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over
her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead)
It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off
for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely
with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away.
The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your
protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always
great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread
it out over her face like pizza dough.
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like
Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They
tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having
her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really
enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another
girl’s name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco
as she desperately tries to buck you off.
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but
a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let
her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the
smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck
away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of
filling up her keister with your demon seed, you pull out and precede
to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the fun bags.
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves
his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very
drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some
chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with
palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting
"Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face",
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family
Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back,
lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first
across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty
Happily discovering haemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while
receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.
Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using
thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.),
and inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue
to gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus
ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of
fucking your urethra. Wow!
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch
girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until
you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up
silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend,
but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand.
When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside
your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends
barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should
teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton
Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to
help you out.)
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all
over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into
the allusion of an over sized, quivering glazed donut.
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and
forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll
have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be
able to bore through wood.
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this
unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn"
means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead
gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can
be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance;
"Baby, you're more> Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn
bitch, you are Corn!"
When you fill a small Ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favourite
lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You
then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need
to buy it dinner first
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you
know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that
your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your
own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
A quadriplegic whore.
SPERM BURPING BITCH
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the
back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle
of your most favourite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down.
Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum
Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking
off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is
sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian
A sexual manoeuvre in which you slip muscle relaxants into your
gal's snizzpod, and then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's
now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those
cold winter nights.
A time honoured event in which while laying the bone doggie style,
you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and
wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit moustache. This
makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one
filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both),
stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into
a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping
a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you
stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the
neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's
ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic
experience when you ejaculate.
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without
the danger of a messy split.
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odour
by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and
yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This
is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard
core porn industry norm.
Your psycho bitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something
kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips
you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a
car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This
causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions.
She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked.
Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one
fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with
a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going
to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw... The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison).
Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion signaling
that she has been there and done that.
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger
up her anus.
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their
face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they
don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you’re
screwing some chick, right when you’re about to cum, you pull
out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire,
then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside
Applies to butt pirates as well.
A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering
her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself
(without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted
in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a
long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.
This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just
a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse
on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity
increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that
of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual
situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly
on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout,
"Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse
your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely,
sometimes causing interesting side effects.
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off
like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you
release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck
and tits. (Better in her bed)
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between
her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets
lodged into your throat.
With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass
loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her
a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those
who like water sports.
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm
saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g.
"Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry
honey, but you asked for the Greek salad
Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful,
tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy
topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhoea.
Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend
its extra lube.
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's
hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use
in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh!
The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching
for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like
a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get
a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.
IN A HALLWAY
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching
the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway.
Most frequently happens when banging the neighbourhood trick or
if you're slinging a small dick.
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments
earlier was balls deep in her can.
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral
cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums
her favourite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against
your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft
as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking
you, I'm NOT fucking you".
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack
in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears
a resemblance to a jelly donut.
SPECIAL BEAN DIP
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb
into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey),
then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her
tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special"
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England
clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your
partner’s legs while eating her out.
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked
in the ass.
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the
wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting
out. (Hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading
wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked
as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room,
places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus
imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme
to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward
the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and
rams her dead square in the ass.
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard
core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you
can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around,
in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status,
you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate
a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable,
tingly feeling on your cock.
Head butting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs
and sucks you off.
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube.
One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the
rectum of the other.
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you
know what I mean.
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky
and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index
fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish
it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived
from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on
her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then
rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you
to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest
level, stop and finish with a DIY (do it yourself) hand job. Then
leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want
to shack up with the selfish bitch again.
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period
since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her
vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch
as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that
you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies
form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off
all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the
The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your
partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure
is most effective from behind.
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on
her box. Happy trails.
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs
as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls
and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very
bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's
testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chick’s mouth
and letting the tramp munch on them.
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of
a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin
to the Cleveland
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching
some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of patty cake
going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases
the sight of watching your friend blow his load.
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders,
while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.
BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch.
Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl
- it takes on the look of beautiful jewellery. Fuck that diamonds
are forever shit.
While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt
road or the fun hole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best
friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit.
Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough
during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside
of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit.
After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream,
"Argh!", like a pirate.
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then
shit on it. It gives them a nice view without the messy cleanup.
How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic
date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully
make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert
your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually
offer some to your bitch.
When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love
RICAN FOG BANK
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog
directly into her nostrils.
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw
your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave
a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens
when air gets trapped in a girl’s vagina, and makes a soft
hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the
wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for
deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both
partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything
when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so
that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into
a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the
floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the
room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to
grab onto her hips
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while
discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your
red wings soldier!
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't
awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole
on her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest
fart ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during
those long sleepless nights.
When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on
her and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your
unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of
necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from
behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just
as several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for
8 seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's
neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along her smooth
skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working her into
the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull out
your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping
her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet
she never saw that coming.
This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female
(AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue
as she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest
doing an Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie
and engage in the well known cliché of sex on the beach.
Just before insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught
of course), and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without
pulling out. As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful
of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically
while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially
lots of fun when accomplished during the spring break season.
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds
to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob
from the fruitcake on the bottom.
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina
and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double
duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and
middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one
smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls
and all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.
The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys
and jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest,
most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent
that it will break up a slump.
The act of moving your anal lover’s turds about within his/her
lower intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender
boys, hence the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock
of another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way
too much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as
in, "You Snoodler!"
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This
happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth.
Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then
gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still
in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it
has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, because they
probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend
and wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids,
show them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off,
giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
ON THE ROCKS
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking
off. Spanken not stirred.
IN THE NIGHT
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know
how by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling
of a hand job from someone else, from someone else.
When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her
over, and jerk off all over her ass.
When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I
not that kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.",
"I'm catholic.", "Stop asshole.", etc. etc...
After hearing all this bullshit, you whip out your handy bar of
soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other joint you prefer),
and proceed to fuck that instead.
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling
effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of
being drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you
are given the sense of riding the ultimate wave.
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt,
you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her
ear, and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you
will give her an infection.
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then
you squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip
your nut sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing
some kind of fucked up yoga exercise.
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner:
thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e.
you got there before the hair (hare) did.
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with
the help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup,
olive oil, etc.)
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens
to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When
the whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather
gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and
then force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled
over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic
enema of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece
of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is
possible, but no actual contact with waste product occurs.
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life.
You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into
oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like
nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart,
what's that on your back?"
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the centre of her two
lips together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble
out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing
towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands
on the left side of her face.
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.
While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel
whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those
pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when
you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty
load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce
the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched,
and moaning like the walking dead.