orsm.net
Orsm.net on Facebook Orsm.net on Instagram Orsm.net on Twitter
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. IT'S THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ONLINE PORN. SERIOUSLY. EVER. CLICK TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF.
orsmsite
orsmstuff
orsmstuff
moreorsmness


Click for more awesomeness

Email Overflow...

I probably should have put more thought into taking a few weeks off and told you guys not to email me anything because the end result was several days of going through it all to catch up on around 3 weeks of back log! Anyway there has been some great stuff come through however there just isnt enough room to squeeze it all on the main page. this is where the Overflow comes in...

First up lets cover some of what you guy's had to say on me missing a couple of my weekly updates...

maulenator wrote:
Subject: ack
You're website has taken the same path as stileproject.com, which consists of creating a good website, then gathering a substantial number of followers, then adding advertising, then updating less, then adding more advertisements, then updating even less, then adding advertisements in links that used to contain fun, erotic, or interesting content, then updating hardly at all. Sad that I now must look to make sure a link will not take me to truebabes.com, or some other useless porn site, when I used to click on any link and was guaranteed to see original content. Very disappointing, but congratulations putting profits over content.

How about a fair go? This wasn't the only email I got along these lines but what people seem to forget is that I pour my heart and soul into this site week in, week out all year long. Another thing conveniently forgotten is that it's done all for free - how else am I supposed to cover the tens of thousands of dollars this site costs to run without advertising? -Orsm

Larry wrote:
Subject: No Change?
Dear ORSM, For a long time I have been a true follower of your web site and looked forward to Thursday mid Morning, when your new stories, pictures and videos would come out. About two or three weeks ago you came out with some GAY shit, with Fag men as the main topic. You changed it back to Beautiful women and great stories. (thank you). Now you are not changing your web site on Thursdays anymore. What's up with that? Did you get someone new in there that don't know his ass from a hole in the ground? Come on guys get back on track and up your quality again. I want Beautiful women and great stories. I can't get them anywhere else.

Two or three weeks ago was actually the 1st of April... closer to two or three months ago. -Orsm

Rob wrote:
Subject: To hell with.....
...them all. If they want to bitch about you taking a break FUCK 'EM ALL!! Well with that said congrats on the new house, and taking a little break, (although I go through withdrawls the methadone is working LOL) You deserve both. Thanks for all the wasted hours you give me. Just figured that with everybody writing to bitch I would take a little time out of my day and write to say thanks for everything, and am looking forward to your return.

Icknazz wrote:
Subject: hey orsm,it's the "yank" from maryland
Hey ORSM, I hope you enjoy your vacay,I will miss your site for the week that you're gone.Archives? Yep,i've already perused them a good bit.

Enjoy some time off. The wife and I had some days last week and were able to catch the John Fogerty/John Mellencamp concert.Ahhhh,nothing better than time away from reality and problems, huh? Prop your feet up,enjoy a beverage of choice and relax for a while. I will be waiting for you next week tho! You always make my Thursday! Thanks for your efforts;they're much appreciated! Like our Mexican friends say,"Mulch is grass waste."(They don't say that,I made it up,but you can use it....)Maybe it's Muchos Gracias? Haa haa. Enjoy your time off and come back with a vengeance.

mike wrote:
Subject: America! Fuck Yeah!
yikes! I just realized that the reason the new update is not up could be because your servers might be in the states. If they are i'm sure you know all about their new faggy law. how come the world police feels they have to ruin things for everyone? even though I live next door in canada, somedays i wish saddam would have had weapons of mass destruction to level the playing field. What ever happened to those anyway? Oh wait a minute, the whole idea of the "war" was to free the iraqi's in the first place, always was. gawd, idiots! I am greatly saddened as to what the future state of random shite will be, and i hope that you will still continue with the site, even though to keep the archives you will have to invest countless hours, and the site will never be the same again. If your servers aren't in the states, does that get you around the fascists will? Keep it real.

from moose jaw (anyone from the states who wants to laught at my towns name can refer to the town of knob noster, missouri)

Some handy advice and an opinion on things the way they are...

CJ wrote:
Subject: I.C.E (this is really important)
Hi Orsm, Normally I don't forward chain letters on to you, but in this case make an exception. All in the civilised world are potentially at threat and anything that can be done to help Emergency Services has to be welcomed. Even without the atrocities that have taken place in London, the plea makes sense, whatever country one happens to live in and whatever the circumstances. Given the readership of your site, perhaps you could help to make this an international campaign.

Following the disaster in London... East Anglian Ambulance Service have launched a national "In case of Emergency ( ICE ) " campaign with the support of Falklandswar hero Simon Weston. The idea is that you store the word " I C E " in your mobile phone address book, and against it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency". In an emergency situation ambulance and hospital staff will then be able to quickly find out who your next of kin are and be able to contact them. It's so simple that everyone can do it. Please will you also email this to everybody in your address book, it won't take too many 'forwards' before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest. For more than one contact name ICE1, ICE2, ICE3 etc.

yanneTravis Martine wrote:
Subject: London Attacks: Read this First!
Great site, well balanced. But to matters more serious. It's so frustrating to see all the coverage that is being shoved in our faces on the attacks on London. Ok don't get me wrong here, those wankers who think its cool to blow apart innocent civillians in their 'jihad' are fuck wits and deserve everything they get in life (and evetually death). But it is bullshit to be so outraged by the death of 100+ people with the current Israeli/Palestinian violence. Genocide in Darfur (Sudan), Ethiopia and the ridiculous circumstances which are allowed to continue in Zimbabwe. Lets get our shit into perspective here, these people have drawn our attention to great injustice's against 'us'. How about 'them', all the people in all those countries being pissed on at the moment. I have more concern for the millions in the middle of an AIDS epidemic in Africa. Open your eyes people.

Kicked in the nuts...

Tom M wrote:
Subject: kicked in the nuts
In your most recent updates you posted a video of "kicked in the nuts", as well you said you didn't know where it origintated. The show originates from channel101.com , on the website a second episode of kicked in the nuts can be found too.

sprtygurl wrote:
Subject: kicked in the nuts origin
i don't know how long you've had this clip but they make fun of it on a new episode of Family Guy. It was hilarious so when i saw this i didn't know who copied who. btw can you not show my sn. Thanks.

Saw that! Very funny! -Orsm

Sir Bearcat wrote:
Subject: Kicked in the nuts video
Orsm, The "Kicked In The Nuts" video is quite interesting. However, I might add that if someone hid by my front door only to kick me or a family member in the nuts, they take a serious risk of being shot.

Konnor wrote:
Subject: kicked in the nuts
Hey, just checked out the update and wanted to let you know where the Kicked in the nuts video came from. www.Channel101.com. Its a website where anyone who wants to can make a series type max 5 min video, and it gets voted on at a screening in L.A. If it is top 5 it makes it into the prime time section on the site and you have to make a second episode... anyways just thought I would let you know. Check out some of the other shows on there... they are fuckin' helarious.

After this the whole apostrophe issue is now CLOSED. I swear I am soooo over this... the original email wasn't even intended seriously in the first place...

Fred wrote:
Subject: Apostrophe's!!
Just for kicks, ....., If I read the letters right, someone out here in interwebland is "At the breaking point" over something as stupid as an apostrophe?? HELL, I say stick an extra one in there, just for them!! Make it chem''s or chem's', or even chems'', for that matter!! Not that wouldn't still trip the spell checker, but I want to drive this idiot BEYOND the breaking point. Then just sit back and watch the headlines to see what he does when he snaps. My bet is he throws a magnum hissy fit and his mum restricts his computer use as a result. Never know, though, maybe it's really Kim Jong Il writing under a nom de plume?? "Nuclear Holocaust Results From Punctuation Dispute" now THAT is a headline!! LOL, anyway..., You've got a great site, and I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to try to correct anything on it. Post a whole PAGE of apostrophes (or is that apostrophe's? apostrophesis'??), if that trips your trigger! Warhol would have approved, I think. Thanks for the Giggles!! (Giggleses'?, giggle's?),

Sam Sara wrote:
Subject: To the Advice Asshole
This is to the Advice Asshole: You my friend are the reason Orsm adds the "stay off the chem's" at the end. Either up the dosage, get off the drugs altogether, or beg your girlfriend for sex a little harder, because you seriously need to chill the fuck out. The Grammar Nazi was taking the piss out of himself as well, not saying he was better than anyone. Most of us aren't pompous arseholes like yourself and genuinely want to know when we've got something wrong like that. Christ, this is a porn and jokes site - go back to reading the fucken obituaries you depressing tool.


Stiff Assed Brit
wrote:
Subject: What a Wanker Grammer Nazi Is!!
Dear Mr Orsm, Awesome site dude, found it completely by mistake a number of years ago and have been checking the updates ever since, have to say, love your work. Anyway, just a note about Grammer Nazi's grammer. He doesn't seem to know shit. He is correct that an apostrophe in the word chem's can mean that something belongs to the the chem, but however following the example of words such as "don't, can't, doesn't" etc, the apostrophe can also imply that letters have been removed and that the original word (or words) have been abreviated. Therefore chem's is an abbreviation of chemicals, which I believe you implied all along. Anyway, back to my Stella, there are no chem's in that are there?

So you are correct in the use of our noble language. This guy must be American, as no-one else could massacre English in such a ham-fisted way.

Keep up the good work and I would be awefully grateful if you didn't post my information on the world wide web. As it seems there are a load of funkyfreekypeople out there.

P.S. Oh, and well done with the cricket, I suspected you guys were lulling us into a false sense of security before homing in for the kill. 10:1 says you're bringing home the ashes again, seems the only thing that can save us is the weather! Although it didn't do Mr Henman any favours, oh well, at least we've got the Lion's tour to look forward to... oh Bugger!

And on to some other odds and ends...

Thatmosis wrote:
Subject: Kangaroo has butt fucked the Lion
Thatmosis here. Well, well, well, the Kangaroo has butt fucked the Lion again and the team looked so pretty too with their blond highlights, flashing earrings, 3 day stubble and oh so trendy sunglasses, pity they couldnt stand the pressure. Moral of the story, never send a team of wanna be's out to do a mans job.

chris wrote:
Subject: redneck hicks
gday orsm. love your site etc etc... im not often disturbed by images and videos that are avialable from the net, however i was quite offended by the video that the redneck sent in of shooting a roo... im a country lad australian and i understand that since us "white australians" have cleared most of the land for farming it has created great pastures for kangaroos to thrive to huge numbers. 100 million i think? (correct me if im wrong). so ok, kangaroos arent on the endangered list and shooting a few is going to make little impact. hovever.... id like for the rest of the world who are checking this site and reading this post to know that not all aussies shoot roos, eat pies and beat their wives, like the guys in the video and the fucks from boyup brook the week before... im not looking for an argument. i just thought this was needed to be made clear. werd to the mother ship!!

AussieBruce wrote:
Subject: Canadian toilets prove that all the guys have small dicks here
ORSM, Top site dude. Awesome to get some Aussie perspective on things again over here just north of Seppo land.

Here's a question that maybe some Seppo/Canadian readers can answer - what the fuck is up with your toilets? It seems to be a competition to see who can make the water level the highest(they have heaps to waste over here). It's usually only just below the edge of the bowl. When I sit down to take a shit, my dick flops into the water. So I have to spend the whole time holding on to it to keep it out of my floating turds. Does no-one over here have this problem? Has no-one thought to design a toilet that doesnt do this? Or, and I to assume that none have ever had the problem due to shorter appendages?

Willem De Bruyn wrote:
Subject: Bill's prayer
Dude; I was fucking around the other day and wrote this. It's an augmented version of The Lord's Prayer - written for Mr Bill Gates.

Our Bill, who art so greedy,
Hallowed be thy Source Code.
Thy Windows Longhorn come,
Thy resource eating be done,
With end-users as hapless as Thou could make them.

Give us this day our daily Update,
And forgive us our use of Linux,
As we forgive You for dominating the software market.

And lead us not into forced harware upgrades;
But deliver us from Bluescreen.
For Thine is the market,
And the money,
And the controlling share in Microsoft.

And finally a stack of emails that were far too good to delete but could'nt fit on the main page of the site [sorry guys!].

click to enlarge

<with held> wrote:
Subject: ORSM
This all occurred around about 10pm last Friday night... I jumped on my bike and headed towards the Wayville showgrounds to scope out the action at the Big Day Out... as I'm cutting through the parklands, I turn a corner, go over this little bridge, and fuck me but about 5m. away there's two dudes standing behind a tree looking at me... One of the dudes was real short.

Either that or he's not short he's ON HIS KNEES! You *may* be able to figure out what the hell was happening there! So I ride on and have a quiet snicker, and ride about 50m. up the (pitch black) trail. About then I realise that I have my camera on me, and that I am in the position to get one of the worlds funniest shots. So I prep. the camera, and ride back down the trail, camera in one hand, flash all primed, as I hit the bridge (still moving), I stand on the pedals, lean in and take this shot. Now I just kept riding, and it wasn't until I hit the road and stopped to see what I'd gotten that I saw the pic... I just about fell off my bike laughing!

JS wrote:
Subject: small or insignificant
Hey, been reading your site for years, really enjoy it!! Just following orders, dropping you a line!! I attached a picture of som classic american iron, 1958 Cadillac!! Have a good one. PS, the car is mine, the dork in the back seat is my buddy, his daughter is driving....

Beautiful car! -Orsm

click to enlarge

Jameson wrote:
Subject: Picture Identification
Hey, I was sent series of pics with this girl by a friend. There are more photos, but Ive been unable to find them anywhere on the Internet. I was wonderin if you had seen this girl. You can post this if you want, maybe someone knows something. But please don't include my email address.

click to enlarge

Rhys wrote:
Subject: oops
Hey orsm, thought you might like this pic) but anyway its was taken after a bumpkin 21st bday party at boyup brook at about 7 in the morning. The guy had been fucking round with the motor (maggot as - at about 3am) and someone thought itd be funny to shut the hood on top of him 'and it was! But anyway, everyone had a good laugh but no-one let the bastard out which explains the photo taken three hours later. The best bit was that Justin (the dude in the car) still had his can of bundy in his hand which he proceeded to finish as soon as he was released. Cheers.

click to enlarge

polarstud001 wrote:
Subject: pics
heres what happens when you have a little too much to drink, and try and drive in the middle of winter. the guy never got canned. had to cover up the name of the building in the back. Your site rocks, from one side of the world to the other. Keep up the great website. check up on it all the time. later from way the fuck up in canada's north. sorry, no girls good looking enough to send pics of, sent this instead

click to enlarge click to enlarge

Darren P wrote:
Subject: Giant Beaver
Here's a pic of a giant beaver in Beaverlodge Alberta, Canada. WTF? Those who know him call him TACO.

click to enlarge click to enlarge

<with held> wrote:
Subject: Crash landing
My Orsm, Here's a pic of a plane that crashed in our parking lot last February in Fargo, ND. I was at work on the weekend and heard a crash outside. I took a look and this plane just missed my truck, hit our parking lot, clipped a lightpole and came to rest in the lawn of the house across the street. Scarry though, the house next to that one is a day care. Both pilot and passenger survived after a few weeks in the hospital. The cause of the crash was that a mechanic (who had been suspended before for performing bad repairs) improperly replace a oil filter just before they took off. Someone had just bought the plane and the pilots were delivering it to them when they crashed.

click to enlarge

W Jack Lloyd wrote:
Subject: Photograph
Hello Mr O, I was in St Johns Church cemetary in Dudley -- central England, to take a photo of the church for a friend. I noticed a grave overgrown with weeds and grass. The wording amused me, so I cleared the grass which was partly obscuring those words and took a picture. I have attached the picture.

click to enlarge

SnakeKiller wrote:
Subject: hurrican dennis pics
yo orsm waz up, good site you got here, well I live in miami area and I have 5 pics of a tree that up-rooted by my house enjoy them, ill bring more tomorrow when I go to work

click to enlarge click to enlarge

Ed wrote:
Subject: Hooters Air
Mr. Orsm - Great site. I saw this in Newark (New Jersey) last week. Thought you might be interested. Keep up the good work.

click to enlarge

Jordan wrote:
Subject: Cool Pic of Pope
hey cool site.. i just wanted to send ya this pic of the pope my frined made one night.

click to enlarge

Phaz wrote:
Subject: maxpower car show tits n ass
sup dude, love ur site its badass notin but tits and ass so i thort id add to it here are some pictures of me at Maxpower car show, you can tell from the pics that i was really interested in the cars.

click for gallery

Elton wrote:
Subject: wicked dirt bikeing
hey mr orsm. just thought id send yu a few pics i took at a dirt bike park in QLD called "black duck valley", awesome dirt bike - 4X4 park (and this is not a sponsored message) been out there a few times and i have had a ball every time, rideing, getting on the piss!, and not in that order, the best fun is kickin back at camp watching the carnage! here's a few pics, theirs some big jumps out there enjoy!

click for gallery

matt wrote:
Subject: some pics for your site
Hi there, Cool site , here are some pics . Please dont mention my address !!! Cheers and keep up the filth !!!!!!!!!!

click for gallery

Jean wrote:
Subject: Dear Orsm
Hi. a friends gave me his pc because he had fucked up everything, after reparing evrything i just take a look of what he was doing with his pc. I hope he will recognize the pics. Thanks posting them

click for gallery
boner wrote:
Subject: Driving in the rain
Maylands train station this morning...
click for gallery

If you've got something to say or share then drop me a line here.


Click for more awesomeness

 

 

orsmfeatured
orsmlinkage
orsmorsmness
moreorsmness