Email Overflow is where all the reader mail
I couldn't fit on the main page ends up. This doesn't mean that
everything you will find here is crap... just that I'm limited by
space on the main page and with the sheer volume of stuff you guys
send in it's impossible to post it all every week.
If you would like to contribute
to Reader Mail and have your stuff viewed by millions then we
are always more than happy to receive absolutely anything you wanna
send! Funny videos, naked pics of your ex or current girlfriend,
jokes or practically anything else you can staple to an email are
all welcome... all you must do is click
here and get it happening.
Anyway let's start with a joke I posted in the
A man walked into a curio
shop in Sydney. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very
life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag,
but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it. He
took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?"
"Twelve dollars for the
rat, a hundred dollars if you bring it back," said the owner.
The man gave the shop owner twelve dollars. "I'll take the
rat and I won't be bringing it back."
As he walked down the street
carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled
out of alleys and sewers and began following him down the street.
This was a bit disconcerting, so he began to walk a little bit
faster. Within a couple of blocks, the group of rats behind him
grew to over a hundred, and they began squealing.
He started to trot towards
the Harbour. He took a nervous look around and saw that the rats
numbered in the thousands, maybe in the millions, and they were
all squealing and coming towards him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge
of the water and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Harbour
as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the
water after it, and were drowned.
The man walked back to the
curio shop. "Aha," said the owner, "You're bringing
it back!" "Actually no," said the man. "I
came back to see how much you want for that little bronze Muslim
This little ball tearer prompted the following
email and my response a week later...
Subject: Joke about Muslims
Mr.Orsm, Well I know saying this wont
make a difference to you but here it goes : I have been
following your site for over 5 years and have enjoyed ever
since. However in ur last update I read the joke u posted
about the Bronze Rat" which clearly insults Muslims. First
don't give me the crap bullshit about fucking freedom of
speech and all of that bullshit : I dare you say that joke
in front of a Muslim. Sometimes I cant beleive how fucked
up the world can be... Why the hell would u post a joke
like that ? Just leave other people's religion alone , I
DARE you to post the same joke again but instead of "Muslim"
, put the word "Christian". If you are going to reply, please
defend yourself with serious words instead of those silly
comments you reply with to some viewers who bother and write
all u do is reply with silly comments.If you are man enough
to post such a joke , at least be a man in defending it
and once again don't give me the freedom of speech crap
or "take it easy its only a joke".
And my reply...
First let me say I don't claim to
be highly educated, overly smart or versed in Islam however when
I hear a joke that I think is funny I will laugh. So my reply? Simple
- if I posted the joke with Christians instead of Muslims then I'd
have received one less email this week because no one would have
cared, been offended or flown a plane into my house. -Orsm
Pretty much as soon as I updated last
week you guys began to reply. Here's a little cross-section...
Subject: vote of support
:D all i can say after having stoped
laughing, is u fucking champion, I bow to your authentic
aussie greatness, an i bet so dose the rest of the world.
Respect to your choice of words and versing, a poet couldnt
have done a better job. =) "flowen a plane in to my
house" i am so ganna post that on every portaloo i
get half a chance too. Keep up the good shit, always one
extra vote of support here from a felow west aussie in perth
Subject: greetings from michigan
I totally agree with you my friend, about
the bronze rat joke that you replied about. Had you put
jew or christian instead of muslim, no one would have cared.
I am a muslim and i was offended by the nature of the joke
for a moment, but then i realize that this is how the world
looks at us now. Thats right, we the muslim people, have
made a circus around our own religion, culture and lifestyle.
Love your site, had sent some stuff and will send some more
stuff for the site. No decrease in my appreciation for your
work. The joke was good bytheway. have fun. Keep up the
Subject: a good joke about drunks
And by the way, I love how you put that
jihad in his place, why would you worship the most hated
creature on earth. tell him in thailand they eat rats like
popcorn if it make him feel any better. And i guess if you
want to make fun of all cultures, the only reason rain dances
work is because they dont quit dancing untill it fucking
rains. Of course I can make that joke because I'm 25% native
american, lol. I love your site and look forward to it every
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj's
Just a note to say superb response to
Mohamed El-Hajj's ridiculous fucking complaint. Your perfectly
right, if you had put christian no one would have given
a toss. And no matter what he says there is an element of
freedom of speech here, ifs hes so unhappy with a joke/comment
like that maybe he should stop getting his kicks from viewing
websites such as yours that are created and survive only
in a democratic / free speech driven society i.e. the west.
Great sight, respect from London
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj wrote:about the muslim joke
Orsm, I agree with your take on this
one in your reply. The world needs to laugh... especially
at themselves. Or at least not take things so seriously.
I wrote awhile back on this matter...I though muslims were
devout. Isn't looking at a place where porn is shown a bit
out of character? I say post all the stuff you find - not
too keen on the gore, but if I don't want to see it I don't
Subject: Muslim joke
First off all I would like to say to
Mohamed El-Hajj if you have really been checking orsm for
as long as you say you have then you should know already
that Mr. Orsm will post just about anything he thinks his
funny and Muslims are not and probably won’t be the
last religious group that he makes fun of. Honestly take
the fucking stick out of you ass and relax. I am sure you
have laughed at his other religious jokes and not thought
twice about it next I would like to say to Mr. Orsm keep
up the great work and never let some pissed off guy who
got his feelings hurt stop you.
Subject: Muslim joke
Orsm, just a quick reply to the Muslim
complaining about the joke you posted... One thing that
pisses me off about these Muslims is that they are so fuckin
touchy. Fuck, it was only a joke. And your 100% right about
if it was about a Christian, cause we know its a bloody
joke. If its funny laugh at it. Mate, too sensitive these
pricks. And look at Dean Jones for example. When he made
that remark about the terrorist cricketer, hehehe, that
was funny. And he does look like a terrorist anyway. Oh
but the Muslim society of Australia, or some shit whatever
they are called, quoted say in on the news that what Dean
Jones had said, and the trouble he had caused of it, will
never be fixed because the damage was done. Ohhh myyy, poor
little muslims are upset are they? Fuck off and get over
As long as they look and act like there own, they will never
come apart of normal society. Ohhh, Israel is bombing Lebo
land and my family is there. Quick Australian Government,
we need your help. They are "innocent Australians"
over there. They are only "Australians" when they
Doin a top job too Orsm.
Subject: Mohamed El-Hajj wrote:
Will they ever gain the ability to have
a laugh at them selves like the rest of us? I have never
ever met a Muslim that can take a joke about them. Yet they
will take a shot (literally and physically) at anyone as
they see fit. Get over your selves and get a sense of humour.
Subject: RE: Mohamed El-Hajj
Hey Mr. ORSM, First I'd like to say what
a bloody great Aussie site you have made here. Secondly,
I'd like to say to Mohamed El-Hajj that if he and his Muslim,
Mohommad arse kissing, camel rooting, kamakaze, suicide
mad, dickhead brothers, sisters and countrymen didn't take
everything so seriously, perhaps we wouldn't give them another
thought - let alone a bad one. Go and worship who you want,
how you want and where you want but stop having a homicidal
tantrum when anyone makes a joke at your expense. I am a
fat prick - how many jokes do you think I have been at the
receiving end of? Oh by the way, I WILL insult the next
Muslim I see because you dared me to.
Mr. ORSM - please keep
my details private as I don't want a Boeing 767 landing on
my house either.
Subject: my two-cents worth about Mohamed
Okay, so you say you've been "following"
the site for over 5 years now. For a while, updates were
twice-monthly (usually), and now they're weekly (mostly).
SO, that's anywhere from 20-50 updates PER YEAR x 5 years
= 100-250 DIFFERENT bits of content that Mr. Orsm has put
up for everyone's viewing pleasure, and that you have WILLINGLY
perused. Throughout this time, Mr. Orsm has been very fair
in that he rips on everyone equally, without prejudice or
discrimination. Now, suddenly, you've decide to take offense
just because ONE of the jokes he posted poked fun at your
religion... gimme a friggin' break. Man, you prove the stereotype
that Muslims can dish it out, but the sure can't take it.
Sure, you can let everyone else get trashed (for example,
"your" people waste no time with raping the Jews
at every turn), but when it comes time for you to be served,
you cry foul. Seems to me that you have two choices: 1.)
build a bridge and GET OVER IT (it's not like the joke targeted
you personally), or 2.) quit coming to the site.
And now for a huge bunch of other stuff that's
been lying around for far too long. Please keep in mind that some
of these may be out of context and not relevant...
Subject: Ex-Wife air crash
Some of you may know or have heard of
my ex-wife's accident. She had started taking flying lessons
about the time our divorce started (1994) and she got her
license shortly before our divorce was final, later that
same year. Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury
in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to
make an emergency landing in a garden in Serpentine because
of bad weather and crashed. The National Transportation
Safety Board officials have issued a preliminary determination
citing pilot error contributed to the accident, as she was
flying a basic model in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions
while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating.)
The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient
fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. Photograph
was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to
her aircraft. She was very, very lucky.
Subject: Toin Coss
what is a toin and how do you coss it?
Hey there, this should be art. It stands
on a round abound in a little village called Midden-Drente
which is of course in Holland. If you people got weird art
outthere that you wanna share.... send it my
Subject: CLOSE CALL
Here is a great optical illusion photo
taken of a Lufthansa 747-400 and a United 757-200 that were
on simultaneous approaches to runways 28L and 28R at San
Francisco (SFO). The separation requirement for flying parallel
and simultaneous approaches is 225 meters (about 750 feet).
These two aircraft are at a safe distance for the approaches
they are each flying. Due to the 747 being three times larger
than the 757, and being slightly behind, it gives this incredible
Subject: Believe it or not this is Peter Crouch's Girlfriend!
Even a freak from the circus can get
a nice girlfriend. Amazing what £40k a week can do!
Plus goal scoring bonuses, so that's... £40k a week,
Hi Orsm, I was browsing your webpage
just now and I came across a woman that vaguely resembles
Jennifer Aniston. Her armpit vaguely resembles something
else (images attached).
Subject: Kermit the frog sucks cock w/pics
I dont want to be identified so just
say these are anonomous.
Subject: German Contruction
Hey Mr. Orsm, I took these pics in my
home town, it's near Munich. The government decided to build
a sidewalk ... clevery enough - after they put the speed
limit on the road.. Take care
Subject: NO GOLFING?
Why not drive your
Golf in a park in Helena Valley?
Attached is a pic of a real tosser. Nathan
is his name & he is from Ballarat, Vic. Would be nice
if he could see it on your site. Keep up the good work im
a long time viewer.
i love the site and have wanted to post
for a bit now thought this pic of a friend would be fun
keep up the good sight!!!!
Subject: One Pissed Off Ex Boyfriend - READ FIRST CAREFUL!!!
And she seems fit for sport too, but
I somehow think the fox will no longer be on Fox. Lauren
Bowden, a sideline sports reporter for a Fox station and
the daughter of Clemson University football coach Tommy
Bowden, had this picture of her put on the internet by her
ex-boyfriend. Let's hear it for pissed off ex-boyfriends.
He coundn't take her house, he couldn't take her car, but
he could take her picture.
Subject: lock n pop
So this is how all those street/hip hop
dancers get there moves?
Hey Orsm, first off i just wanna say
that you have a kick ass site and i have checked it every
week for a few years now. Im getting my friends to do it
too. Well this passed 4th of July, my bro inlaw decided
to fill a bucket with blackcats and put it in the street.
It was awesome, one of the loudest things ive heard. We
did it a second time and put an artillery shell in the middle.
Didnt get that on film though :( Well, keep up the good
Subject: Hopefully this is worthy of ORSM.NET
Dear Mr. Orsm, I am a longtime- first-time
because I wanted to GIVE you something worthy of the "BEST"
site on the internet!!! I am an avid HBO fan...The Soprano's,
Sex in the City, Entourage, etc... Today in my surfing,
(killing time until your next update) I found these pictures
of the most BEAUTIFUL GIRL in HBO's stable this year!!!
I am talking about Entourage's Sloan; played by the talented
and sexy Emmanuelle Chriqui!!!! After being AWOL all season
so far, she came back with a bang and a menage a trois'
this past week and I hope someone 'caps those pictures...
In the meantime, here is the most I have ever seen of Emmanuelle
Chriqui !!! Thanks for being so awesome!!!!
Subject: Girls from Malaysia exposed!
Howzaaaaa Mr Orsm!!! Been coming to ur
website for quite some time now. The best site inda worlddd...
& really luv with what u r doing here. Keep up the good
work. Here's some photos to share with orsm fan. No nudity
but these girls from Malaysia are having a great day. Malaysian
girls gone wild! Slurrppppppp!!!!!
Subject: More World Cup Cheating
Hey Mr. ORSM, my co-worker and I are
huge fans of your site and never miss an update, keep doing
a great job. Seeing your update where you produced photo
evidence of the blatant cheating taking place in the World
Cup (and the referee's lack of doing anything about it)
I decided to send you these pictures of the Trinidad &
Tobago VS England match where Crouch held down the T&T
defender by the hair that resulted in an 85 minute goal,
which eventually lead to the 2-0 defeat of the smallest
country to ever reach the World Cup. It seems to me that
the referees are doing whatever it takes to allow the "bigger"
countries to going through to the final rounds.
Subject: oops! ... England Football Team...
Just noticed that the Whine bottle from
the other day had fell over, so here it is again. Also,
just noticed this curious little picture of the England
team returning to England after their disastrous Word Cup
effort. They should be looking a little more shame-faced
in my opinion.
Subject: World Cups pics
Right, without boring you too much, here
are some decent snaps Paulo's World Cup tour;
1: the lads, had to put it in.
2: A drunk German girl on a lion, surely she is a stripper/hooker/porn
3: Outstanding Croatian representation.
4: This is nuts, this a bar FULL of Croatian supporters
with dozens of flares alight. Dont know how they can breathe
or see. Berzerk.
If you've got something to say or share
then drop me a line here.