To the Americans who think they are in a position to call us racist from across an ocean, PISS OFF. Australian comedy and advertising is for Australian consumption and if it doesn't make any reference to America, tough for you. Just remember, you gave the world two George Bush's and the KKK. If you don't like out version of comedy, PISS OFF.
To the Indians who don't like the speed of police investigations, PISS OFF. You get the same treatment as everybody else. Australians in general don't condone violence against others. India can't guarantee security within its own borders, so you are in no position to judge us. If you don't like that, PISS OFF.
To the Japanese who are killing whales in Australian waters, PISS OFF. This is not scientific research. Go kill whales in your own waters. And if you don't like the fact that we will send protestors to harass you at every turn, PISS OFF.
To the Muslims who come into this country and then complain about how we dress, act or do anything, PISS OFF. If you want to wear clothing that covers your face, if you want to live under Islamic law and if you want to live in your own little enclaves, go and live in an Islamic country. Australia is happy to accept any religion, but don't try and change us. Australia is a nation based on Christian principles. If you don't like it, PISS OFF.
To Sri Lankans who are coming over here on the never ending stream of boats, PISS OFF. This country is happy to accept legitimate refugees, but if you can afford 15 grand to pay people smugglers and bypass a dozen other countries, don't expect to be welcomed with open arms. There is a legitimate refugee system and there are other more deserving people waiting in refugee camps. If you can't stand to wait in line like the others using the system legitimately, PISS OFF.
To the Croatians and Serbians who want to come to this country and bring your politics with you, PISS OFF. Your violence at soccer and tennis matches is a disgrace. Sure, you had lots of problems in your homeland. You came here for a better life. So leave the hatred and politics behind. We will welcome you, but if you bring your crap with you, we don't want you. PISS OFF.
To the English who come over here and never stop complaining, PISS OFF. We ceased being a convict colony over 100 years ago. We don't want to hear how great the job market is in London, how cheap the houses are or how you don't like the Australian climate. The solution is simple. If you think things are so much better in England, PISS OFF.
To any nationality that wants to come to this country. This is Australia. We have our own culture, language, way of dress and attitudes. We champion the fair go and will welcome people of all nationalities, languages and religions. We will embrace you and enjoy sharing your culture. We will welcome you to our neighbourhoods. But if you want to change us, PISS OFF. If you want to live in your own little enclaves and not integrate, PISS OFF. And if you don't even live in this country and want to complain about the way we do business, PISS RIGHT OFF. Get your own country in order before you even try and judge us.
I'm bloody Australian and proud of it. And if you don't like that, PISS OFF.