- You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.

- Police stations demand security guards.

- You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

- You call 10111 and they arrive a day later.

- The money in Monopoly is worth more than you paid for the game.

- You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers.

To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.

- Hijacking cars is a profession.

- Defecating in a garden can win you R1-million.

- You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light.

- You produce a R100 note instead of you drivers licence when stopped by a traffic officer.

- The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car.

- Police have to call for a taxi to go arrest a criminal.

- More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.

- You can eat worms (mopani) and dried meat (biltong) and not be considered disgusting

- You can buy cool drinks with 45% alcohol in them at rugby matches.

- People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift and Given.

- "Now - Now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.

- You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.

- Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest car on the highway.

- You're considered clumsy if you can't use a cell phone, change the CD, drink a beer and smoke while driving.

- You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.

- You can travel faster in the 'slow' lane of the highway than the 'fast' lane.

- A bullet train is being introduced but we can't fix potholes.