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There's A Troll In The Closet...

A fan wrote:
Subject: There is a Troll in the closet!!!
Dear Mr. Orsm, Let me just start by telling you I have been enjoying your website thru its several incarnations. And quite frankly I think it ROCKS!!! Thank you for your time and effort - pervs need a safe place on the net too.

Here are the facts.....

A friend of mine told me this just this Wednesday as it happened on Tuesday. Only the names have been changed to protect the.... whatever.

A good friend of mine, "Rob" has a friend that recently moved from Chicago to somewhere in Florida. The friend, "Charles" is a preacher or pastor of some sort and we all know they don't lie. Anyway, his wife, "Cindy" took a part-time job and she works with a woman named "Sara" who happens to take care of her younger brother "Steve" who is mentally retarded. Now "Steve" can look after himself somewhat, but it is normal for him to call and talk to his sister several times a day. On this day, Sara and Cindy were talking and working when Sara received a call from her brother Steve.

Sara is paged for a call from Steve:

Sara answers the phone. "Hi, Steve. What's up? Its early for you to be calling today."
Steve, sounding agitated and speaking in a {special voice} "There is a troll in the closet!"
Sara - "What?!"
Sara - "Alright Steve, I have to get back to work. Go have a sandwich and watch some TV. I will be home around 5 and we can talk. Goodbye."

Sara goes back to work and mention to Cindy that her brother sounded a little odd on the phone. About 45 minutes goes by and Sara is interrupted again by a call from Steve.

Sara - "Hello Steve, what do you need?"
Steve, sounding more agitated than the last time- "Sara, there is a Troll in the closet!!"
Sara - "Steve, you know I am at work. I can't run home right now. Can't you find something on TV to watch?"
Steve - "But Sara, I'm scared of the Troll in the closet......"
Sara - "Come on Steve, go in the back yard and sit and relax, I'll be home in about 4 hours. Gotta go, Bye."

Sara goes back to work only to be interrupted again in about 30 minutes this time.....

Sara - "STEVE, come on!! I am at work. What is the matter?!!!"
Steve, now very upset and almost crying- "THERE IS A TROLL IN THE CLOSET, and I'm scared of it!!!!!!!"
Sara, now also upset at having to leave work - "Fine Steve, I will be home in 40 minutes! And we will take care of the "Troll" or what ever."

Sara apologizes to Cindy and tells her that Steve doesn't normally act like this, but he seems really frightened about the troll for some reason.

Sara drives to her house and Steve meets her at the door. He is pacing the room and just not being himself. As Sara comes out of the entry way into the family room she sees a chair propped under the door knob to the coat closet. As she walk toward it Steve hides and peers around the corner. She reaches and pulls the chair out and opens the door......................

Inside she finds a rather upset looking MIDGET!!!!!! A little person in the closet, who turns out to be a Jehovah Witness going door to door in the neighborhood. And who picked the WRONG house that day. Imagine knocking and having the door open and a mentally retarded person reach out and grab you and throw you in a closet ---- probably screaming the whole time!!!

Now, I know you have some questions just as I did after I picked myself up off the floor. We, my friend Rob and I are waiting to get some details to fill out the rest of the story. Cause, I don't know about you, but we {Rob and I} got a "thing" for midgets/little people. We happen to live near the most famous "little people" in America, the Roloff's from the TV show "Little People, Big World" on The Learning Channel" As I have repeated this story to several friends and we all have agreed that this is one of the most hilarious things we have ever heard. I thought I needed to get it out to the masses, and where better!!

I will send any more info I get as soon as I can..... Is there a 911 call tape somewhere, was the midget hurt? Will the Jehovah's continue knocking. Is Steve ok? All very important question WE need answers to.

So in closing, I'll leave you to your duties. Hopefully you got a good laugh from this. I did!! Well, stay off the chems and all that.


A fan

That's it for now

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