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July 2001...
orsmupdate 2001.07.25-19.13

Just wanna send out a big thankyou to all of you turds who got yourselves infected with that nasty virus that is going around. Since Friday somewhere between 300-400 of these little fuckers have landed in my mail. Luckily for you guys I arent opening the interestingly titled Word and Excel documents I recieve with each email.

Anyways, back at school this week. Time table this semester is somewhat croozier. I'm only there roughly 2 1/2 days a week compared to 4 full days last semester. Rather than just enjoy the slack time and do fuck all with it I signed up for the CCNA course too. What is a CCNA you ask? To be honest I havent too much of an idea suffice to say its something to do with learning how to work on and use Cisco equipment. I'm quite excited to be honest.

Work is well and truly underway with the site redesign so stay tuned for it. Coming soon to some bandwidth near you!

Just a quickie really. Only wanted to whinge about the squillions of virii that have come looking for me lately. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2001.07.20-9.42

I woke up this morning with the TV on to see REM rocking away on Sesame Street. Pretty funny shit. Check out the Mp3.

- REM - Furry Happy Monsters -

I've been working away trying to design a new look for my site. I think I've come up with something that I find a little bit more pleasing to the eye but as I usually go with these things i'll change my mind and scrap it. If not, sometime in the next week or so it will be up for all to enjoy.

Have also been playing with a few cgi scripts which should make my life easier too. If any of you guys have successfully used them before then feel free to drop me a line and let me know what you used em for so I can try and incorporate them into my site.

- Vote for ME on Stiles Top 50 -

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says "All I've got is thirty."

She says, "Hold on." She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty dollars?" Harry says, "A handjob."

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob.

He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE penis. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy bucks?


- Swedish Bikini Team -


I was going to post a whole shit load of odds and ends but I think I may leave it for a while until the new site is up. You guys dont mind do ya's?

In the meantime there is more than enough to keep you all interested either in my Archives, in the Priceless Pics section, the Priceless Vids section or even the Mp3 section. Failing that [because you think my site completely sucks ass] you may wanna check out the following sites, all of which I think severely rock...

Dgnr8 - Kel - M4dc0w - Real Pranks - Vote For Me

Anyhoot - I'm outta here. Have an eventful weekend, stay off the chems and be good and please dont forget to vote for me here!! Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.07.16-14.06

My wish of having Sara-Maree evcited from the Australian Big Brother household has finally come true. I've posted my fair share of SM hate propoganda in the last few weeks but even I did not think she get booted last nite.

It came down to state pride. She being the only West Aussie in the house, it probably should have been her. The radio this morning has been running stories of how out of 500,000 people that called up to vote against the 3 remaining house mates, she was evicted by only 13 votes!!! Amazing stuff.

Need you all to do me a favour and click this link!

- this link -

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today? I'll hike north and spend the day looking around; you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp." "Wow!!" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?" "Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."

Catarina Rozeira wrote:

Well, I saw you're site and there's something I want to say to you. There are really funny pictures, mas tell me...do you realy think it's funny to see dead animals? I hope you don't answer me yes, because then I would like to know if you would like to see someone you like dead on the net...I'm sure you won't, so I don't understand why putting stuff like that! I know people send things to you and they expect to see them there, but shouldn't you select what's good or bad? Those images might hurt people's feelings...

And some pictures' comments are really mean...I tell you something, I would hate to be one of those people!!!

I'm telling you this with all my respect. I'm just giving an opinion and I hope you don't take it wrong. Thanks for your time!

Fuck me. Getting a little too upset over a few dead animal pics dont you think? Is everyone as easily offended by a few bloodied animal-carcass pics?? Will have to rethink the dead-baby special I was thinking of posting in a few weeks....


Can anyone say Rita??

Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita

Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita - Rita


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"

Sluts & Losers - Legal High


Thats it for the time being. Next update wil see more of Orsm's Boob Tribute and I may even post some more of the increasingly popular Random Shite series too. Did I mention that there is more Aria vids to come too?

Anyways, I'm a lil bored so I think I may format and do a re-install for the rest of the day. If my machine wasnt such a piece of shit and dying a slow painfull death maybe it wouldnt be necessary but at this point I cannot open any mpegs you guys send me and its shitting me off very very badly.

Take care. Vote. Be good. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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orsmupdate 2001.07.12-23.33

I get heaps of email from you guys wanting to know more about me. I really have no idea why this is because at the end of the day I am really no different from any of you guys that surf my site. I'm just a normal guy that you wouldn't look twice at if you saw me walking down the street... well I hope you wouldn't anyway. To try and answer a few of your questions I filled out and added one of those stupid quiz things that go around in your email from time to time. You can find it on my About Me page.

Priceless update has occurred and there is 10-20 new pics all for your viewing pleasure. They start here somewhere.

Cheers for the few hundred emails I have received in regards to the priceless videos not working. Unfortunately this is completely out of my control. The Priceless Video's and Mp3 music files are hosted on Funyon.com for free. Funyon appears to be having a few technical difficulties of late. The problem for me lies in the cost of proper reliable hosting. Videos and Mp3's take up a shit load of space and a shit load of space on a fast server costs big $$$.

If there is someone out there who wants to donate a few Gigabytes [or less for that matter] on a fast reliable server then email me and we'll work something out. In the mean time if everyone wants to click on banners around the site then go for it. If I can generate enough bucks I'll hopefully be able to afford proper hosting.

I'm back on the "I wanna redesign my site bandwagon". Every time I climb aboard I get half way into a design I sort of like and then change my mind and bin it. The current design has pretty much been the same since the site was started almost a year ago and it's getting so fucken boring!! Unfortunately it's going to have to wait a few weeks atleast until I get my other projects out of the way so how about I stop whinging to you guys and get on with the update huh!?

- Check Out The New Stile Project Top 50 -


Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ... ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on." The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" "I couldn't even get on the fucking bed..."

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Orsm Breasts...
Remember a while back I posted Orsm's Boob Tribute? Due to the fact exams came up all of a sudden I never did actually finish it off. I got so many emails from breast admirers from all over the world asking me to post some pics of tits that belong to GOOD chicks... not festy bitches. I stand before you now ready to rectify my mistakes. Taken from the bountiful archives of the Orsm Corp of which you, the readers of my site, helped me to create, I give you the second last instalment of Orsm's Boob Tribute.

Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies

Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies - Boobies

Up until now I've only had a couple of takers that were willing to send me a pic of their boobs. If you are interested then drop me an email or Icq me with a pic or two. Also feel free to scrawl "ORSM" or "ORSM BOOBS" across them! In return I promise to either link your site or not post your email address/name etc... whatever suits you - its your call.

What's wrong with this picture? If you guessed "the guy is sucking a dick through a hole in the wall" then you are 100% correct!

Got the following email from a mate who is away working interstate...

Just thought I'd email you some pics of the flare............for your interest, it has been burning for almost three weeks at the moment at 10 barrels of condensate a minute. Now, condensate is US$30 a barrel.....some quick maths and you come out to a rough figure of 9.7 million US (thats almost $20 mill aussie) burnt over three weeks and counting......


According to the Crap Poll I have been running for the last week, more than half of you guys actually would take the dive and waltz on into the Big Brother house for the next few months. How about if they let this guy on the loose with you?


Bruce, a middle-aged Australian tourist, visits the red light district of Amsterdam and enters a large brothel. It's his first time in Europe. The Madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady over to entertain the prospective client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams and runs away! Seeing this, the Madam sends over a more experienced lady over to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He again whispers in her ear and she screams and runs away!

The Madam decides that only the most experienced lady, Lola, would do! Lola looks a bit tired, but there is nothing she hasn't done already and absolutely nothing would surprise her. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap but she's a little too heavy. He whispers in her ear and she screams louder than the previous two and runs away!

Madam is by now, absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She asks, "What did you want to do, to make them run away like that?" Bruce said: "I just asked if I can pay in Australian Dollars".

This weeks links go out to the kind folks at:

Eyeglass Studios - IWANGF - Phucked Up - Digital Vixen - Rex Mag - Little Effect - Stile Project

...and this is just cool.


The only reason this guy is getting a link is because he has absolutely NO idea whatsoever AND his site is an absolute piece of shit AND I thought you guys would appreciate a laugh. If you want your site linked then go here.

Neil wrote:
Subject: link

This is the first time i visited your site.Its fab.
Could i link it to my web page.

waiting for your answer.
thnks mann.


My emails to the CEO of Telstra [my ISP] seem to be having no effect. I keep getting replies from lower level staff [read: plebs] that are keen to continually bull shit to me as much as possible. Rest assured that I will keep up my ongoing campaign until I get an email from Dr Switkowski himself. By the way, the people that host my site and the turds that provide me internet access are 2 different entities. 1 good. 1 bad. You figure it out. By the way - apols to the guys at iiNet for my lil fuck up last week. YES I don't know what I am doing.


This list is probably a little bit too long for this page but who cares right - its my page and I'll do what I wanna... ha. I look forward to getting a few emails calling me a pig, sexist, or chauvinistic after people read this but remember that its all in the name of fun...

To Women Everywhere From Men Who've Had Enough . . .

  • If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
  • Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
  • If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  • Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
  • One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
  • Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
  • If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  • Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
  • Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  • Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
  • When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
  • You have enough clothes.
  • You have too many shoes.
  • Crying is blackmail.
  • Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work.
  • Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
  • No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
  • Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
  • Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
  • Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  • Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  • A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  • Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
  • Check your oil.
  • It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
  • Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
  • If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  • Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
  • You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour.
  • If it itches, it will be scratched.
  • Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
  • If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

I was going to post some more Random Shite this update but I think I'll keep it for next time. In the mean time how about checking out these pics of this chick. She some how manages to swallow an entire massive glass dildo with her vagina. Quite impressive.

Glass Toy - Glass Toy - Glass Toy - Glass Toy - Glass Toy

Glass Toy - Glass Toy - Glass Toy

A woman is helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and tells him that he will now need to choose and enter a password that he wants to use when logging on. The husband is in a rather amorous mood and figures he will try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention, so when the computer asks him to enter his password, he makes it plainly obvious to his wife that he is keying in "penis"... His wife nearly falls off her chair from laughing so hard when the computer replies:



It's video time. Now I know you all love video time. I posted a link last week to an Aria vid which didn't work too well but that has now been rectified.

- Fisting Aria -
[you need Quicktime to view this video]

But I certainly haven't finished there... not even close. More Aria anyone? Brace yourselves... [by the way you may need the DivX codec to view the rest of the files.

- Introducing Aria 1 - Introducing Aria 2 -

As a final special treat, I came across this little gem of a vid on Kazaa. This is what happens when a chickee gets adventurous with her webcam...

- Web Clam -


That's it from me. This update has taken pretty much an entire frickin day for me to do. Started at around 7:30am and its past 11pm now. How's that for dedication! Do I have a life? It would appear not.

Anyways, make sure you check back soon as there will most definitely be an update over the weekend with an absolute plethora of bits and shits to keep you amused. In the mean time pleeeease click here and vote for me!!

Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.07.05-13.44

It's a bad day. My ISP enforced their 3 gig monthly download limit as of today. I can honestly say that it fucking sucks and for that matter so do they. Any of you guys who live in Australia and are considering going with Telstra for ADSL or Cable or for that matter, Satellite - make sure you know what you are doing!

In April I downloaded over 22 gigs of data, so at Telstra's charge of $189 for every extra gig it would cost me somewhere in the vicinity of $4,300 a month to keep up the good work.

If you are one of the lucky ones like me who has to suffer these pathetic changes and aren't happy then feel free to email Telstra's CEO Ziggy Switkowski and tell him what you think. Here's his email address:


That'll do for the moment. Just had to vent. Make sure you email Ziggy if you think Telstra suck ass. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

orsmupdate 2001.07.04-15.02

Finally you might say. If the amount of email that I have received from you guys telling me to stop being a slack-bastard and do an update is anything to go by then this update is way past due. Which brings me to my next point...

I'm getting damn close to removing my Email and Icq addresses from my site. There are a certain amount of people out there who look at this site as some sort of free service and just seem to expect things. The amount of fuckin stupid emails that I get amazes me. I don't send videos to people and I don't send Mp3's to people. If you want a file then let me know and I'll post it so everyone who visits my site can get it too. If you are one of the turds that does then I'll just ignored your email.

Secondly, my Icq. There are basically 2 ways to piss me off on Icq.

Number 1 - Request authorisation from me and never ever come online and say anything to me.

Number 2 - Requesting authorisation and sending me a message that says "love ur site, d00d" or "sup man?". It's appreciated but just email me so I don't have to remove you from my list.

Now that I've got that off my chest I feel so much better.

Priceless update has been done. Ten or twelve new ones added to the gallery for all to enjoy.

By the way - thankyou to whoever it was that emailed me [I've lost your address!] letting me know that some of my Priceless pics made it into Australian Picture Magazine. I'm quite impressed with myself if I do say so.

I have to admit that I am almost disgusted with my behaviour. I've posted shit about the Aussie version of Big Brother a few times now and since then I have become a complete and utter BB fan. I honestly can not explain why I, like a huge majority of other people, find it so very entertaining dwelling on the lives of people no more or less important than I am in real life. Every nite at 7pm I am in front of the TV watching what has been going on and speculating who it is that's going to be evicted next.

I was a strong "Save Johnnie" campaigner but it was more or less inevitable that the gay man was gonna get booted at the first chance the homophobic viewing public got. I'm now keeping my fingers crossed that Blair wins it over that Sara-Maree wench.

What happens now? A couple more weeks and its all over. The thrill will be gone and that's it. Things are never as good the second time around. Take a look at Survivor. I couldn't bring myself to watch it in the "Australian Out Back" purely because the game had been played once and it didn't offer anything new and exciting the second time around.

What am I getting at? I have no idea. What do you guys think of these Big Brother type things?

I changed the poll thingy-majig just to the left and down a bit to see if you would put yourself through the pain of having your every move scrutinised by a whole country or more in particular - people like me.

Enough with the social commentary for the time being I think. Probably a good idea to get on with the update huh? Well here goes...


There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started telling a vulgar joke.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, "Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?"

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"


Kristi Leitch wrote:

This is what happens when 2 hotshot stock brokers (who I work with) race each other whilst on their way home from a golf tourney (and they weren't drinking apple juice there)!

ps...It USED to be a Posche 911...for sale now, real cheap!
pps...amazingly enough, no one was hurt more than scratches and bruises!! (no passenger thank sweet Christ!)

Click for more awesomeness

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes downstairs.

The drunk from next door is standing on the porch in a pouring down rainstorm, asking for a push. "Not a chance" says the husband - "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was it?" asks his wife.
"Just that drunk from next door asking for a push" he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "NO, I didn't - it's three in the morning and raining like hell out!"
"Well you've got a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and that guy and his friend helped us? I think you should help him."

The man does as he is told and gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain and calls out into the dark. "Hello-are you still there?" "Yes," comes the answer. "Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here... on the swing"


Ever heard of Ali G? If you have heard of him you would almost have to agree he is probably one of the funniest things to come out of the UK since Monty Pythons or The Young Ones. If you haven't seen any of him yet then check out lando.co.uk for a whole stack of his clips and episodes.

I seem to have been inundated with requests to link back to some of you guys who run your own sites. As promised I'm going to link every single one of you guys in this update but due to what feels like approximately half the sites on the internet wanting a link, it's getting harder and harder to do. In future its going to be a little bit harder to get me to link your site unless you follow the rules! If you are a webmaster or just some kook that runs a site click here to read them.

Phucked Up - Random Wrestling - Stab Shit - Sex Info 101 - Phat Gawd - Shift Head - B0g - Really Nice Jerk

Dont Look Away - Modern Players - Guy Rules - Forbidden Compounds - Eye Glass Studios

Scrote - Smartest Man On The Web - Filtered Life - Relationships 101

Hands up who likes Cam-chicks... Hands up who likes HOT Cam-chicks? I've really never been too much of a follower of them until only recently I get this one chickadee message me on Icq. Turns out she is the webmistress of her own little site and passes herself off as Digital Vixen.

Now I could sit here and write about how much of a shit-hot bod she has but I know for a fact that you guys just wanna hear about how she comes across as highly intelligent, charming and funny right?

On the off chance you don't then I highly recommend checking out her site for updates on what an Aussie girl does with herself when she isn't teasing me with cleavage shots and if that isn't enough you can always check out her cam and pics.

- Vix-Pic 1 - Vix-Pic 2 - Vix-Pix 3 -

I'm a really huge fan of Flash-powered web sites so I thought it would be worth linking a few that I thought were pretty decent.

Remix City - Stormtronic - Cloud 10 - Kidd Bippy - E Studio - X Dude

Chickee-Babe of the week this week is an absolute hottie. Check her out...

DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette

DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette - DroolBrunette

Click for more awesomeness

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened - no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too?


- 50 sites that cater to your every desire -


A lot of you guys have probably seen this one before. All you have to do is read the following statement and count how many times the letter 'F' is used.


Scroll down for the answer...


Entertaining 1 - Entertaining 2 - Entertaining 3 - Entertaining 4


I was pretty annoyed when Napster got nailed for copyright infringement. Have you tried logging on to it lately? What a piece of crap it has become. There is never anyone online and you can not find what you are looking for because it's all blocked.

There is now a DECENT alternative. Way better that iMesh and Gnutella too! Kazaa allows you to download everything from music to video to documents and its all for free too! I managed to download about 5 gigs of Sopranos episodes, music, pron and whatever else I could find. Download it here.


Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to now. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Colin's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks Colin's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Colin says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Colin says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.

At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Colin. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome.

Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Colin asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the fuck's that on the balcony with Colin?"


Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez naked anyone? Strap yourselves in...

J-Lo - Britney & J-Lo - Britney Topless - Britney Pissy Pants - Britney Shower

That not enough? How about some Britney on video?

Britney Boob Play - Britney Blow Job

How many times did you count 'F' above? Three times right? Wrong, there are six of them. Read it again and do it SLOWLY this time.


The brain cannot process the word "OF". Anyone who counts all six 'F' on the first go is a genius. Three is normal.


Time now for a dose of Random Shite...

RS1 - RS2 - RS3 - RS4 - RS5 - RS6 - RS7 - RS8 - RS9 - RS10 - RS11

RS12 - RS13 - RS14 - RS15 - RS16 - RS17 - RS18 - RS19 - RS20 - RS21 - RS22 - RS23


On account of I haven't posted any new videos in over a month I think its about time that I did. Today's bevy of viewable media includes all sorts of bits and pieces...

Monster Clit 1 - Monster Clit 2 - Deep Fist - Foreign Fuck

What's Wrong With This Picture? - Shark Attack

Great Lez Vid - Head Shot

Today's specialty vid is a bit of a shocker...

Everyone remembers Aria right? I've posted millions of her pics over the last few months. If you haven't been reading my site for that long then shame on you and they start here somewhere. Anyways, last week I happened across an Aria video. Great. Downloaded it. Before watching this vid I had a mental image of her as a good clean, classy woman who took her clothes off and that was it... I can gladly say she is way more talented than that. Check this out...

- Fisting Aria -

That pretty much covers this update. I am on holidays for the next few weeks now so I'll try and get the update thang back on track. Shouldn't be too hard [read: sarcasm] even though I am in the process of building a few other web sites at the moment. And NO they are not like this one just in case you were wondering.

Before you leave, make sure you vote for me on the IWANGF Top 50. It would be muchly appreciated.

Enjoy. Mr. Orsm.

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