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Welcome to Orsmnet - a site that
the late, great Christopher Reeve proclaimed upon his death bed
as being the 'paradigm of adult entertainment'.
One thing I've started to slooowly
get back into lately is reading... and no I don't mean reading web
pages and stuff like that. I'm talking about reading actual hard
copy [eeew] books and the like. Actually before I get ahead of myself
I should clarify and say 'book' as in singular because that's all
its been so far and I am only a half way in after about a month
or so of reading. I read at a snails pace which is most likely due
to me being so out of practice or having an QI of 64...
That last time I seem to remember
reading anything was over 10 years ago which was one of the Red
Dwarf books that I had borrowed from a mate. I distinctly recall
being utterly bored out of my brain by it and skipping through chapter
after chapter to the end so I wouldn't have to suffer it any longer.
To counter that and satisfy my urge for material I don't have to
read off a screen I've kept myself amused over the years with countless
car, fishing and computer mags but have generally avoided anything
that I couldn't skim cover to cover whilst sitting on the throne
expunging the contents of my bowel. Strangely enough that's all
I've done to get as far through my current read as I am now - a
couple of pages during my daily toilet visit. I'm definitely not
the type to lie down on a couch in a quiet room and read a book
especially when there are better things to do.
So what am I reading? The book
is called 'A Million Little Pieces' and is a true story of some
young guy and his trip through rehab after being hopelessly and
helplessly addicted to alcohol and crack. I'm sure this isn't the
definitive read on the subject but for some reason I'm attracted
to stories of people fighting back against themselves. I don't particularly
go out for the hope aspect, more the curious factor of whether or
not the writer will actually make it or die trying... which in this
case I assume he does otherwise there'd be no book.
It also got me thinking about
why people write books like these in the first place. I'm guessing
in real life they don't come out of rehab and decide that it'll
be a great way to make money. Maybe it's about self help? It got
me on the track of writing my own little diary type thing. Not something
I want to or will ever publish I might add.
You guys have heard me whinge
and complain that I've been stressed out and angry at the world
lately but despite the fact that I blog away on here each week its
hardly the place for me to express what actually goes through my
head - too many people I know offline read it and obviously I'm
not comfortable about spilling my deepest and darkest for all to
enjoy.
It hit earlier this week when
everything sort of boiled over in my head. It was middle of the
night but my mind was in that racing faster than Schumacher on speed
and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to sleep so I opened
up a new document and simply began typing and dribbling away. What
started out as a couple of lines about what's been going on turned
into 10 pages.
The funny thing was that actually
putting pen to paper [if you will] relaxed me. It was the ideal
way to finally vent without having to bare my soul to someone I
didn't want to. The effect has been to unleash a monster. The 10
pages I filled were nothing, not even the tip of the ice berg. My
brain is full to the brim of stuff I want to get out and finally
I've found the perfect way to do it. I ended up having to stop due
to finally being so tired from exercising my mind muscles and I
now feel a whole lot more chilled. I wont say this is the sure-fire
fix for everyone but if you ever get to the stage of being driven
insane why not try writing it down? You never know - you may be
penning the next best-seller!
Before we get moving with the
update, I've added a new Priceless Video
page which can be found here. There's
20 new vids in total and with a bit of luck I will get around to
adding more between now and Christmas. Have fun.
If you've been reading my site for any period
of time you would notice that each week I plug Newbie
Nudes. This just isn't because they are paying me to do so...
it's because Newbie
Nudes is easily the best site of its kind on the net today.
Hundreds of thousands of pics which are added to daily, tonnes of
vids and the ability to interact with thousands of people that love
to get their gear off and show what they've got... did I mention
it's all free too? Check
it now!
Been scammed by porn sites? Not sure which ones
are worth
your money? Then head over to RabbitsReviews.com
and get the best of porn. Read in-depth and independent reviews
of leading adult sites and discover the one that's perfect for your
kinky needs and desires. Check it now!
I got a message the other day from one of my
cohorts telling me it was about time I introduced you guy's to his
site. I replied with a voracious 'hell yeah'. The site? BeerAndShots.com
and I could probably crap on all day about how good his new design
is, how good the free
porn is and how I spend more time at his site than I do my own...
but I shall refrain, and suggest that you guy's check
it out for yourselves!
If you're anything like me then you'll be concerned
about the security of your computer
and whether or not people can see what you're doing online. Add
to this the constant barrage of spyware and viruses we have to deal
with it starts to take the fun out of surfing the net. So what to
do? Easy and you'll love this - AuditMyPC.com.
This is a completely FREE service that scans your computer for nasties
and reports back how to fix them. There's also a multitude of other
tools that will all the more enjoyable! Click
here to check out AuditMyPC.com now.
I can think of two reasons why you haven't checked
out Revenge TV
yet. First up it's because you are new to the net and haven't heard
about what will long be remembered as one of the greatest sites
to ever be surfed. Secondly, because you are a spastic. This is
truly the ultimate revenge site - thousands of vids and pics of
ex's that managed to leave a jilted lover in their wake. How does
that jilted lover get his own back? Revenge
TV is how! Click
here to see what I mean...
Posting
And You - Would
You Hit It? - Insane
BMW - Presedential
Horror Show - Eye
Of The Tiger
Escape
From Neverland - Bricolage
- Stupidity
Gone Mad - Jar
Jar Porn - Cost
Of War
A guy goes into a sex shop and asks for a rubber
doll. The guy behind the counter says "Normal or Muslim?".
"What's the difference?" asks the customer. "The
Muslim one blows itself up."
--
One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and
you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went to
the pub...
--
A man finds his girlfriend furiously packing a suitcase in the bedroom
and asks her what's up. His girlfriend replies, "My therapist
says that you're a pedophile and I should leave you!" The man
replies, "Wow, you're pretty smart for an eleven-year-old!"
Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in New Jersey
who has recently been diagnosed as carrier of the HIV virus. My
parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters,
who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested
for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on
my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.
I have two brothers. One is currently serving
a non-parole life sentence Attica for murder of a teenage boy in
1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington
Remand Centre on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former
Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time
"working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited
as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager.
I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team.
Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would
get them off the street, and hopefully, the heroin habits.
All things considered, my main problem is this.
I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the
family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.
So... Should I tell her about my distant cousin
who is French?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation.
A man wakes up one morning and there's a gorilla
on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's
an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and
the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of
his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean
old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner
asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and
then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof
with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull
is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then
be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the
van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the
homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the
dog!"
ORSM
VIDEO
Plenty of you guy's may have already seen
this vid of what can only be described as a talentless hack.
If you're not with me yet I'm referring to Ashlee Simpson
and her abysmal efforts on last week's Saturday Night Live.
I don't really need to say much more than that as the vid
explains it all...
- Ashlee
Simpson: Crash & Burn - |
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A little boy and a little girl, both about eight
years old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little
boy farts, causing a little sand between his legs to shift. The
little girl notices, and squeals with laughter, "How'd you
do that, "she asks. "Easy," he exclaimed, "I
just farted." "Can I try it," she asks? "Sure,"
he says, "anybody can do it."
She concentrates as she strains and grunts. Suddenly,
there's a huge explosion, the sides of the sandbox fly off, all
the sand flies out, and the little boy is thrown 20 feet, landing
up against a tree. He groggily gets to his feet, runs back to where
the little girl is. He finds her laying on the ground, out cold,
flat on her back, spread eagle.
Curiously, he lifts up her dress, peeks underneath,
and loudly exclaims, "Just what I thought, dual exhaust."
I keep getting emails from you guy's asking me
what the catch is with MyFreePaySite.com
and I'm here to set the record straight - there is no catch! You
won't end up with a massive credit card or phone bill or anything
unexpected. It's a lot like Orsmnet and all fucking FREE!
So why wouldn't you try it? Tonnes of FREE
pics, vids, live web cams and whole lot of other stuff that I'll
leave you guy's to discover for yourselves! Check it here.
READER MAIL
Email has just been out of control lately
and so much so that I am thinking of starting my very own sweat
shop in Korea to take the load off! I've gone the Overflow route
again and everything that was far too good for the trash but couldn't
fit on this page has been put here.
Aside from that, if you've got something to say, something you want
to see on the site or just feel like telling me I'm a retarded,
bush-hating loser then you may do so here.
Robb
wrote:
Subject: World on Fire Propaganda
Hey ORSM, Great site, but you
already know that. Anyway I have to get this out of my system:
I was watching that Sarah McLachlan - World on Fire link;
the "$15 videoclip" and its kinda pissed me off.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big supporter of helping the world
out, particularly if you're the U.S and you've contributed
to the cause of these problems.
But I've been working in Television
for 10 years and its a bastard of an industry. Each year we've
got hundreds of eager young Uni grads rolling out of this
country's institutions hungry to get their start in "the
business". The Problem here is that there just arn't
enough jobs in this wishy-washy industry. Film and TV creatives
and crew generally work contract to contract sometimes with
breaks between that can last for months. This means heaps
of really talented Producers, Directors, DOPs, Scriptwriters
etc etc live VERY modest lifestyles because they've followed
their passion. Interestingly I have yet to see a performer
at the level of Miss McLachlan's live this way. Of course
there is some big money in our industry but thats mostly with
the top end of town; Studio Execs, big Production Companies
and large Post Facility owners.
So Instead of cheering about
how the Record Company gave away someone else's money, they
should actually have made the shit-hot video that would have
helped record sales ( cause thats why they make them in the
first place) and given just a dollar or more from each album
sold to these needy causes. I bet it would add up to a LOT
more than $150K. That video was made for the wrong reasons,
its record company "feel-good" propaganda, thought
up by a record exec. in his Mercedes on the way to work one
day. End of Rant. |
Ant
wrote:
Subject: Hey Dude.
Been a visitor to your site for years,
but this is my first email. Anyways, just a little bit of
information of the guy smashing up the PT Cruiser at the
traffic lights. When I was watching the video, I thought
to myself, gee, that background looks awfully familiar,
and when the shot turns around to when he is bashing up
the car, my thoughts were confirmed. In the background is
the Sahara hotel, on the corner of the Las Vegas strip and
Sahara Ave. I stayed at that very hotel in July 2003, and
walked past that site many times and also shopped in that
general store. While I certainly didn't see that going on,
it is really freaky to think I was at that same place.
|
Jordan C.
wrote:
Subject: Crack Issues: Scary Shit
Hi, this is Jordan, but please do not
put my email address in if you use this, and I live in Las
Vegas where the video of the guy who was hitting the car
was filmed. The local news ran a story on it, and it turns
out the guy who was in the car and who was beating the car
up with the bat were both paid actors who were shooting
for a video. Nothing dangerous happened. Your site rox though.
I love it.
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<with held>
wrote:
Subject: Japs
Hey orsm, what the fuck is up with Japanese
culture?? I saw the vid of girls being humiliated and having
sex in public on Fridays update and it disturbed me greatly.
More than that it sort of intrigued me in a strange fucked
up way. I mean is this common place in Japan? Does this
happen regularly? After a hard days work you jump on to
the afternoon train to see a girl getting fucked in the
corner?!? It just doesn't make any fucking sense to me!
I have made many a trip to the supermarket but I am yet
to see a girl being bent over next to the drinks chiller
coping one from behind. Who are these people? How can they
do these things? Why haven't I ever met a girl like that?
I want some fucking answers ORSM!!! After all the wrong
shit I have seen on your site this one video has got me
completely fucked up! I don't know what to do, except to
ask you where the fuck did you get this and can you get
any more? Please help me.
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agog
wrote:
Subject:
Hi orsm, this mental health thing you
got going at the moment sucks. Maybe you could limit yourself
to workking on orsm.net to business hours only? That might
get your sleeping patterns back circadian again.
|
Stephen
wrote:
Subject: Finally the real truth
Hey Mr. Orsm--this movie is the response
to that bloated liar Michael Moore and the steaming pile
of BS he calls a movie-- check it out! www.celsius4111.com
|
Xiao Cui
wrote:
Subject: blaupunkt
this is one of the blaupunkt show cars
that a friend of mine's exboyfriend put on show against
at a hot import nights show in miami. unfortunately, they
lost against this beast. 27 or 29 seven inch monitors all
over this badboy. guillotine doors as you can see, and matching
xbox steering wheel/paint scheme/interior. too bad it's
on a goddammn chevy cavalier. [check
it]
|
Zac
wrote:
Subject: Clints e-mail about Prycless photoshpoping.
Forget that. I am so tired of seeing
that same shit everywhere. People need to realize that that
comparrison is bullshit. Simply put, gw bush, all though
not perfect has never had evil intentions of genocide. The
only people he has persicuited is terrorists, and rightly
so. I did a little quick photoshopping of my own. Here is
what that picture should be. Saddam Gassed over 100,000
of his own people with chemical weapons in 1988. These poor
people were from his own damn country, they were the shiite
muslims called the kurds (they are all kurdish), and had
villages in norther iraq.
DOESNT THIS SOUND MORE LIKE
HITLER? Clint- Fuck you, you ignorant bastard, go suck micheal
moore's dick some more. Dumbass. P.S. Everyone do yourself
a favor, and get fucking educated. And untill then, shut ya
damn mouths. |
Keith J. Frank
wrote:
Subject: Photoshop of Lightsabe Faggots...
Hope
you enjoy!! |
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<with held>
wrote:
Subject: The Randy Badger...
Hi Orsm, Firstly, who the fuck spends
hours looking at a picture of a guy's cock, then writes
a two paragraph essay on the fine art of photoshopping a
member !!?? Sad bugger !! I say, "good for Abi for
sending in his sorry ass pic in the first place", who
takes photos of themselves naked in a mirror and expects
no come back ? So here is my PRYCLESS contribution which
I really hope makes it to your site as well as the good
old Priceless Archive Page itself....... Lastly, many thanks
for the best site on the net, I look forward to it every
time; keep up the good work.
|
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Kieran
wrote:
Subject: Madrid Tennis Masters: Ball Girl Models
G'day Orsm, Loving the website, keep
up the fantastic work. If you've been watching the tennis,
you probably heard about the organisers employing models
as ball girls, creating controversy. I see nothing wrong
at all, roll on the Hopman Cup!
|
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Dez
wrote:
Subject: Eye Sore
Hi, I wont do the usual suck up your
ass comment about the site, you know it's good. Like the
the fact your a Perth lad who drives a Holden (I think?!)
& all the other stuff a red blooded Aussie male should!
Here are a couple of pics of this thing that lives up the
street from me. No idea what it does or what super powers
it has or which character owns it but as far as I can tell
it once was a holden?!! (going by the door handles!) Thought
it would at least get a laugh or some comments??
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GILBERT ROUNDS
wrote:
Subject: President
The President, who is campaigning, visited
our town last week. And here are some pics! Thought you
might like them. Sorry about the quality, it was my in-laws
friends taking the pictures with their new digital cameral.
|
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<with held>
wrote:
Subject: Gotta love mining
Thought you may like to se some dangers
in our line of work, some are probably to be attributed
to being away from women for days/weeks at a time and spending
too much time in the pub the night before. Gotta love it
though Keep up the good work
|
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Jim
wrote:
Subject: naked pumpkins
Hey, I got tired of the same old jack-o-lanterns
a couple of years ago and decided to try something new.
I thought you and your readers might get a kick out of them
|
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Paul
wrote:
Subject: Road picture
Hey Orsm, Love the site, been following
it for about 3 or 4 years now. I've included a picture I
just recently took on the road. I'm a Canadian truck driver
and was travelling through Missouri on my way to Texas.
I will send you more of these as I capture them, but it
is quite difficult at 65mph.
|
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Chris Martin
wrote:
Subject: Ray Hadley Spray remix.
Hey orsm, This is a remix of a spray
that Number 1 Sydney Talk Back host Ray Hadley gave. It
is a bottler. I hope you can use it.
I can't remember if I posted the
original a while back so here
it is. -Orsm
|
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Yeatzie
wrote:
Subject: Antics by Perth guys
Hey. Im from Perth, a friend of mine
showed me your site I love it and then later found you live
here too. This video is down at the swan river, shooting
waterbombs at passing walkers using our slingshot. It shoots
like over 100m... funny stuff. This vid shows some of the
antics us locals have been up2, please put it up on your
siite.
|
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Scotty
wrote:
Subject: Submission
Hiya. Top site, excellent content. Thought
you might like a video of me fixing a laptop with large
calibre firearms... Known as the "Magnum Patch".
Keep up the good work.
Mmmm high-calibre therapy. -Orsm
|
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Rob
wrote:
Subject: PLEASE UPLOAD !!!
This is a great update for too many drugs
for this man which you had in June 2004. Please upload it
its great. Please keep my email address confidential. This
man ate one too many marijuana cookies !!! We are your best
south african supporters. KEep up the good work.
|
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Divx_Addict
wrote:
Subject: Pictures
One of my buddies found some pics of
his exwife and wants the world to see them. In hopes that
her little brother and father see them. She's been in two
pornos, modeled and is a stripper in NC (USA).
|
Mike McDonough
wrote:
Subject: Check out this new bird of ours!!
...Awesome new plane...interesting that
this top secret new jet is being flown by a woman pilot....you've
come a long way baby ! The plane in these pictures [Never
Seen Before] is still officially the Air Vehicle Number
1, a prototype on board the USS Washington for catapult
fit checks. Not exactly still top secret, but certainly
not yet made public. I believe it will be known as the F/A-37.
Although specs are classified, it is believed to be a Mach
3.5 (top speed in the Mach 4 range), super-cruise stealth
fighter/bomber/interceptor with approximately a 4000 mile
range. Awesome!
|
A blonde was driving home after a game and got
caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents,
so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw
that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her
just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all
the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her
hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.
So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said,
"What are you doing? The first blonde told her how the repairman
had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all
the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh,
like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late
one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did
this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well,
I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor "You
tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No,
Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,
and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,
I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor. "Then
I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to
get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?" "Then I put the gun
to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So
I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
A man goes to the doctors to pick up some test
results. The doctor says "I'm very sorry, but I have some bad
news for you. You have HIV." "Oh my god, no" replies
the man. "I'm afraid it gets worse" says the doctor "you've
get an extremely rare form of the disease known as HIV 313, and
you'll be dead within the week!"
The man is obviously devastated, as are his family,
so his mother decides to take him out for a special night out since
it will be one of his last. That night at the bingo the man won
the first game. He then won the next game. And the next. And he
ended up winning every game of bingo that night.
At the end of the night the host approached the
man to give him his prizes and said "you must be the luckiest
cunt I know. You won every game tonight. That is unheard of!"
"Lucky?" said the man "Lucky?
I've got HIV 313 I'll have you know!" "I don't believe
it" said the host "You've only won the fucking raffle
as well!"
A man and a woman are sitting side by side at
a bar getting really wasted. They are both really depressed. The
man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband
left me because he said I was too kinky in bed." "What
a coincidence!" he said, "My wife just left me. She said
I was too kinky in bed too."
So they start talking and they find that they
have much in common so they decide to go to the woman's apartment
and have kinky sex. When they arrive at her apartment, she tells
him she needs a few minutes so she can slip into something more
comfortable. She comes out of the bathroom with a tight, black leather
outfit with a whip, handcuffs, a strap-on cock, and a 12 inch studded
dildo. Then she hurries into the kitchen and comes out with Tabasco
sauce, whipped cream, and a rolling pin. Then she notices that the
man is putting on his coat and is walking towards the door. "What's
going on?", she asks. "I thought you wanted to get kinky?"
He turns around and says, "I just fucked your dog and shit
in your purse. I'm all done."
ORSM
VIDEO
A bartender is preparing to open for the night
when he hears a knock at the door, he opens the door and a beautiful
blonde is standing there. She says, "I'm shy could I get a drink
before you open?" So he lets her in. "What'll it be?" "Twenty-five
whiskeys please. Just line 'em up."
He is shocked that she would want so much, but
he fills them and he watches her down the lot one by one. She then
collapsed on the floor.
The bartender looks over the bar, not bad he
thinks and takes her upstairs. When he has had enough he goes back
down to open up. It's a really busy night and to boost business
he sells the girl for a twenty bucks per go. Everyone wants a turn,
and he makes a fortune. When he has closed up, he takes the girl
and puts her outside the door where she first came from and he counts
his profits.
The next night at the same time the doorbell
rings again so he answers and the girl is back. He can't believe
his luck. Inviting her in he asks, "Twenty five whiskeys again,
Darlin'?" "Oh no," she replies, "vodka please. Whiskey makes my
twat sore."
A kid comes home from school and says to his
mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says, "Tell me."
He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't
understand. She asks him what they are. He says "well, pussy
and bitch." She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is
a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our
Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop
in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school
are using words I don't know and I asked mom and I don't think she
told me the exact meaning."
Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to
mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him... pussy and bitch.
Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy
down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of
the centrefold and says, "Son, everything inside this circle
is pussy." "OK, dad, so what's a bitch?" "Son,"
he says, "everything outside that circle."
RANDOM SHITE
I really had far too much to choose from
putting together RS for this week and it all got a little
confusing... hopefully there's enough decent material contained
within to keep all the haters happy...
RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS
- RS |
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An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his
annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling and the 86-year-old
says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride
who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute
and then begins. "I have an 85 year old friend, much like you,
who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day,
when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally
picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the
creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water.
He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang
out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 86-year-old said, "I'd say somebody
else pumped the bullets into that beaver." The doctor replied...
"My point exactly!"
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,
"Doctor I have this problem with wind, but it really doesn't
bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent.
As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been
here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they
don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I'll see
what I can do for you, take one of these tablets, three times a
day, and then come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor,"
she says, "I don't know what the hell those tablets were that
you gave me, but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses,
let's get to work on your hearing problem...."
Poke me with a fork - I'm done. A whole lotta
love went in to this update so I hope it was well worth the few
minutes you wasted checking it out!
Before I go... a quick shout out and thankyou
to Lifian for picking me up the Stranger With Candy DVD from my
wishlist! It came yeesterday so I haven't had a chance to check
it out yet but hopefully this weekend will provide some free time.
For everyone else, if you'd like to show me your love and appreciation
for my countless hours of hard work poured into bring you this site
every week for free then head over to my wishlist
and make my frickin day! Anyway, until next time be good, stay off
the chem's and don't be such a loser. Enjoy. Mr. Orsm. |
